Once everything stopped and everyone just stood looking out over everything there was only one thing I could think: that is a really big hole.

That really big hole used to be the place I lived and where the biggest events of my life happened.  There are so many memories that I’ve made but everything involved with the memories is gone.  My house, my clothes, all the family pictures . . . they’re all gone, too.

Hell, all my shoes are gone!

I feel Dawn give me a hug and it’s only then that I notice that everyone around me is talking.  When I turn to my sister she looks at me like I should be celebrating with the rest of them but I’m kind of in a state of shock.  We did destroy Sunnydale today.

“Buffy, what are we gonna do know?”

I hear my sister but I don’t say anything for a minute.  There’s not a whole lot to say anyway.  I didn’t even think we’d win this battle so I didn’t exactly plan an after party.  It was more like thinking about making it out alive and worrying about the girls I was leading to their deaths.

“So Buffy, what do you think?”

Willow’s question snaps me out of my trance and when I turn back to them everyone’s looking at me.  It’s like they expect a good answer out of me and I’m not sure what to say.  After all the destruction today, there’s not much to say.

That’s when Faith walks up to me and puts an arm around my shoulders.  “Hey, we’re all exhausted.  Let’s find a place to crash and get everyone help who needs it.”

“Faith’s right,” Giles says.  “We should leave.  Something as big as a giant crater will likely draw some unwanted attention and I don’t think anyone will be able to explain this without some serious thought.”

Everyone agrees and they walk toward the bus.  I take one last look at the crater that was once my world before I feel Faith gently pulling at me to turn back and start walking with the rest of them.  When I turn my head to look at her, something I don’t think I’ve even done yet, she smiles.

“Don’t worry, B,” she says as her smile widens to a grin.  “We’re all tired.  I got your back.”

I only look at Faith for a few seconds, really look at her.  It feels like I’m finally letting my guard down and allowing myself to see the real Faith, the one she tried to show me when she first showed up in Sunnydale a lifetime ago.

When I don’t say anything in response Faith just laughs and continues to walk me toward the bus.  Giles is already yelling instructions and telling us to get seated quickly so we can leave.  I’m not paying attention to him though.  All I can think about is the fact that Faith still has her arm around me as we sit down in a seat in back.

There’s something about Faith now that is making me think, making me think things that I would have never thought before today.  It’s making me confused because looking at her now gives me feelings I haven’t felt in a long time.

I think I might love Faith.

******

By the time we get to the hotel everyone’s tired.  We had to stop at the first hospital we saw in order to drop off Robin and some of the girls that were injured to the point that normal first aid just wouldn’t cut it.  The doctors and nurses there had some questions but once we said we were in an accident all of them concentrated on getting everyone treated and didn’t ask too many other questions.

The hotel isn’t the greatest but it looks clean and as long as there’s hot water for a shower I’ll think it’s the best place in the world.  I was lucky enough to get my own room but now that I’m in it all I feel is lonely.  Once again there’s no one else around that I can confide in.

It’s something I know I just have to get used to since I really think there’s no one who really gets what I’m thinking right now.  Even though it feels like the worst part of my life is over I know there are certain things that won’t change.  I’m still the one everyone looks to, the leader.  That part of my life will probably never be over.

There’s a knock on my door and I figure it’s probably Dawn to check on me.  I saw the look on her face when we were riding on the bus and I know she was worried about the fact I was quiet.  She probably thinks I’m losing my mind.

When I open the door though Faith is on the other side, a smile on her face with a bottle in one hand and a first aid kit in the other.  “Hey, B.  Thought you could use both of these.”

She winks at me and I smile.  “I’m probably fine without both but I won’t say no to either.”

Faith laughs quietly as I let her in and close the door behind her.  “I hope not.  I went through a lot of trouble to get both of these.”

“How do you mean?”

“I kinda have no cash, B,” Faith says as she sits on the bed and pops open the first aid kit.  “I had to flash the girls at the guy at the front desk to get the booze.”  She motions for me to get closer to her.  “That guy must have a serious drinking problem since this wasn’t the only bottle he had behind the desk.”

“I guess his problem turns out to be good for us.”

I stand in front of Faith and she carefully lifts up my shirt to see the wound in my side.  “Damn, B.  You should have stayed at the hospital.  It looks like you might need stitches.”

“No, it’ll be fine,” I respond.  “I just have to avoid any potential apocalypses for the next few days.”

Faith shakes her head at me as she cleans out my wound and bandages it.  I can only look at her as she does and I’m surprised at the gentleness she’s showing.  Of all the time we’ve known each other we’ve never been like this before.  We’ve never been this civil.

“There,” Faith says as she closes the first aid kit then plays with the hem of my shirt.  “You’ll be kicking ass in no time.”

I sit down next to her and I’m so confused.  Faith is taking care of me and I don’t know why.  “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but why are you here?  I kind of expected to be alone.”

“Someone needed to check on you,” Faith says and I’m thankful she didn’t take offense to my question.  The Faith I knew before probably would’ve just left.  “Everyone’s kind of off doing their own thing or mourning the people who died, you know?  I kind of noticed you were separating yourself from all that but you shouldn’t be alone.  After the day we’ve had, no one should be alone.”

That wasn’t the response I was expecting but maybe I should have.  Both Faith and I have misjudged each other in the past and maybe it’s time to move past that.  When I look into her eyes now I see something I haven’t before. 

“So what’s going on?”

I blink a couple times to snap myself out of whatever I was doing.  “What do you mean?”

“You’re quiet and didn’t really talk to anyone the whole time we were on the bus,” Faith says.  “You’re letting me be in here which really isn’t like you.  What gives?”

I’ve been asking that question to myself since I was staring at the crater.  “Have you ever just looked at someone and realized that you’ve missed something the entire time you’ve known them?”

Faith only looks at me for a second and it looks as though she’s trying to come up with a response.  “Not really.  The first impression I get is usually the one I stick with.”

“I guess I’m crazy then.”

Her hand goes to the side of my face and I wonder if she thinks that the battle has made me lose my mind.  She’s looking at me with such concern that I almost think she’s pitying me in some way.  That’s not exactly something I want but I don’t move away either.

“You’re not crazy, B.  You’re just tired.  Maybe you should get some sleep.”

She gets up to leave but I grab her wrist before she can stand.  Everything’s rushing through me now and I feel like I have to act on what I’m feeling right now.  I’m afraid that if I don’t do anything about it now I never will.  And of course, I don’t know what’s going to happen after tonight.

“What’s up, B?  Are you sure you’re okay?”

There’s concern in her eyes and that’s not something I ever used to expect from her.  It makes me feel all that more encouraged by what I’m starting to feel.  I should probably say something but I can’t really think of anything good to say.  There’s nothing witty going on in my head right now. 

I finally decide to simply trust my instincts, maybe go with my heart a little, and I lean in to lightly brush my lips against hers.  Faith tenses the moment my lips hit hers but after a second or two I feel her respond, her hand lightly cupping my cheek in the process.

The kiss feels like it lasts forever but I know it only lasts a few seconds.  Faith’s lips are no longer on mine but her hand is still lightly caressing my cheek.  When I open my eyes I see Faith staring into them, like she’s trying to figure me out.  I wonder if she thinks that I’m messing with her in some way.  It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve gone through something like that.

“B, what are you doing?”

My hand makes its way into her hair and I feel that I finally know the right words to say.  “I feel like I can finally see you, the real you.”

Faith lets the smallest of smiles show.  “The real me, huh?”

I nod.  “You really are my other half, you know?”

“I think I do,” Faith says quietly as she rests her forehead against mine.  “It only took one look to realize that, huh?”

“And that kiss.”

She laughs quietly and I’m sure she realizes that I’m looking at her lips instead of her eyes now.  “So what’ll happen if we kiss again?”

I know what she’s doing.  She’s waiting for me to make the next move and I think that’s something I’m finally ready to do.  I’m ready for her.  “I think we should find out.”

Faith smiles before closing what little distance there is between us and kissing me.  It’s soft and tender and everything I’ve been looking for.  I just didn’t realize it until now.

The End