It's like this: Once you know Faith, there isn't much else you learn about her that you feel, somehow, you didn't already know. When you find out about her love of horror movies- "a wicked adrenaline rush", she calls it- you wrinkle your nose in distaste, but smile while you watch her explain with childlike excitement. Or when you discover her fascination with pornography. You rolled your eyes, but you're certain she saw your embarrassed smile and the blood that colored your cheeks pink.
It hurts you to see the flashes of fear in her eyes when you move over her in your lovemaking, but you knew all along what that was about. So you lean into her, careful not to put too much weight on her. You stroke her face gently, and leave soft kisses on her skin so she knows that no one, especially you, will ever hurt her again.
It doesn't surprise you, not really, when she tells you she's always loved you. You'd developed a close friendship, and nervously expressed your longing for more, afraid she may not feel the same. She takes your face in her hands, says, "About goddamn time," and gives you the sweetest kiss you've ever had.
No, those things don't surprise you. What does surprise you, though, is when she begins to openly express her need for affection.
It was shortly after the battle with the First. You were in Los Angeles, at the Hyperion with Angel and his crew, and had been discussing your next plans of action. Faith was mostly quiet until Giles had asked her what her plans were. Willow offered to clear her police record, to keep her from having to go back to prison. You all nodded your agreement when she said Faith was welcome to stay with you, wherever you planned to go.
Faith was quiet for a long moment, and she spoke, with a tremble in her voice, a heartfelt thank you and apology to each and every one of us for her past actions.
In the quiet after she finished, you glanced around at the others' smiles before Willow cautiously enveloped Faith in a hug. You'd have done the same, expecting Faith to pull away, or maybe even a bit scared she'd lash out. But you smiled when she wrapped her arms around Willow in return, and when Xander joined the hug and thanked Faith for her words.
You had all laughed when she, in the middle of the huge group hug, murmered the words, "Thanks, you guys.. But I kinda can't breathe."
It seemed like that was how Faith's walls began to tumble. She built them a long time ago, having been hurt too much and too early in her lifetime, to not have them there. The first time around, you didn't try hard enough to get past those walls. But now, they're hardly remembered, and they're most certainly not missed.
Sometimes you wonder if she, subconsciously, is trying to make up for the affection she had never had in her life previously. But you know that, in every touch, is a thank you. Thank you for being here, for letting her in, for forgiving her. She's still the same Faith you all met in the alley behind the Bronze years earlier in some ways, but those walls that came tumbling down brought out the true Faith. The one you all can't imagine your lives without.
You sit with her on the couch, your fingers combing through her hair as you watch some romantic comedy Willow picked out. Faith's head lay on your lap, and her legs drape lightly across Willow's. You try to pay attention, but mostly you breathe in Faith's touch, and the light loops of the Sharpie marker she uses to draw on your skin.
Often, Faith apologizes for her lack of relationship experience, thinking she's doing something wrong or that there's something else you want that she doesn't know how to give. You look down at your arm and see the intricate rose drawn on your skin, Faith finishing the words, "Love you" underneath, and you smile. She claims she's not romantic- she doesn't know how. But you know she's the biggest liar in the world.