Find Me First
Stir that angst. Stir, stir, stir.
Great dynamics here. Faith is right there, loyalty on full display. Watching Buffy take Faith apart emotionally is ... well, it's actually horrible for me to read and not at all entertaining, but it's executed quite well. Don't let my personal opinion of angst take away from the fact that it's quality writing. All the ingredients are there.
As of this point in your story, I am completely okay with Faith staying with Michelle and Buffy not getting reconciliation. Buffy's received a lot from Faith already, and even more now at the start of chapter 6. When does Buffy give back?
I will blow raspberries at you if Faith doesn't make her grovel for forgiveness. A lot. ;-)
~OW
Author's Response:Ha :D Good to know we're still friends. I usually don't like drama and angst, but this fic engrossed me, whipped me up in its whimsy and didn't let me go. You'll see what I mean as we continue, but in my little way it's distinctly me to have a little comedy and a little twist and turn.
I love when the chosen two have conflict, it brings out their true selves. Their feeling run deep. Way deep.
Don't worry, Buffy and Faith get their just deserts.
LOVE IT. Also the whole dancing around each other thing is killing me. (In the best way, of course). Can't wait for the next installment!!! :D
Author's Response:Let's dance that dance for a spell. I'm sure they know all the steps!!
Wow, that was soonish;) Thanks! Great addition to the story. It's really interesting. Good job on capturing everyone's personality. Great read so far. Keep it up.
Author's Response:i'm aiming to update once a week so I'll see how that goes. Thank you.
Blegh, drama. ...I guess I should explain that.
One of the things that I notice a lot in Buffy/Faith fics is that Buffy is portrayed as indecisive and flighty.
As the drama picks up in the story, Buffy begins to showcase to readers a large list of reasons that Faith deserves someone way better than her. We often end up relying on Faith's steadfast love and indebtedness to Buffy to keep her around long enough for Buffy to have her "I'm so stupid" moment and move the relationship forward.
And then Faith's happy. Those stories baffle me.
Alright, onward!
You've created an interesting imbalance here: In Chapter 1, we're introduced to the fact that Faith is hot for Buffy. Buffy is undecided. In Chapter 2, we're introduced to the idea that both Buffy and Faith are mature adults with quite a bit on their plates. We're also introduced to the concept of slayer connection and the junior slayers that Buffy and Faith are ironically helping through similar issues. In Chapter 3, you blew me away - sorry, you showcased just how deeply Faith cares for Buffy. In Chapter 4, Willow and Dawn beat Buffy over the head with the truth of her feelings. In Chapter 5, we finally resolve - oh, wait, in what appears to be a desperate need to have the final word, Buffy shoots Faith down in the bar, winning a childish game and intentionally hurting her friend.
Why intentional? Because via the internal monologue of first-person writing that you've chosen to use, you have told us explicity that a) Buffy is well aware of the scenarios in her life, and b) her actions are in no way impuslive. While you have placed a couple of sentences that imply otherwise, the flow of the story indicates that Buffy knows what she's doing.
Blegh, drama. Please insert the apprpriate Patrick Stewart 'facepalm' pic here.
It kind of begs the question at what Buffy will have to do to win Faith over, because it'll have to be big. The Karma Meter heavilly favors Faith in this story. The little blurb about Faith going out drinking with Buffy and humorously correcting her driving implies a strong friendship. Buffy's understanding of Faith's loyalty seen vicariously through the junior slayers backs that up.
You've mirrored the context of Faith's kiss with Michelle nicely with the junior slayers, Ariel and Rye. Rye's distracting Ariel from the fact that Shannon's ingnoring her, and Ariel takes her up on it. Likewise, Faith is getting a more adult distraction from Michelle. Good stuff.
You have manufactured this misunderstanding very well. Buffy has no real context for the kiss and Faith thinks Buffy bailed on her - as usual. Cue violins.
And so last chapter's humor was carried over nicely, then we dive into some surprise angst right at the end. Classic soap opera plot twist. While you stir the angst a little more next chapter, I wonder if you might choose to give us a glimpse of the story's big mystery, which is Faith's perspective. Maybe use Willow or Xander as a vehicle for that? You certainly have some options.
Looking forward to more!
~OW
Author's Response:Yeah... there's going to be a little more drama, but stuff happends which shifts the mood. Can't really go into more detail than that at this point.
I do get what you mean about the standard angsty drama storylines, but hey every rose has its thorn, right? :D
I can tell you, you get to hear from the horses mouth in the next chapter. Mystery solved... kinda.
Oh no Faith!! D:
Ahhhhh this is getting really good, can't wait to see what you have next!!:)
Author's Response:Dun Dun DAAAHHHH!!!
Sorry Molliewobble had to do it, but I just posted a new chapter... are we cool? :D
Wow! Great story! I can't wait to see what happens. Please update soonish.
Author's Response:Hi Nomorebread, soonish now ok for you?
Love love love this!!
Author's Response:Thanks Badwolff, I love that you're loving it :D
Seriously, so good. Can't wait for the update.
Author's Response:Hi Amber, Thanks for reading.... your wait is over. New Chapter Uploaded!! Yay!!
Interesting bridge going on here. I can only assume that the next chapter runs right off of this one. I see that you've chosen to resolve Buffy's conflicts using Dawn and Willow; also, that Dawn and Willow are presented as more worldly than Buffy. While that has its drawbacks, you've again maintained enough maturity and honest girl-talk that the scenes are not reduced to Dawn and Willow beating Buffy over the head with facts - a trope that you nicely poke fun at with the pillow fight.
You've also played your last scene off as though it could be a dream, following off of the previous scene where Buffy was falling asleep. This is wise; not only does that sort of minimalism work to make the scene more poignant, it also gives you an out with respect to the direction you choose to move things.
Lastly, the humor in this chapter nicely offsets the gravity of the previous one, bringing the reader to a more even keel for the next chapter where the plot moves forward, so that we can experience it without the lingering emotion from your bombshell chapter 3.
See? I'm serious when I say you're a good writer.
Once again, you've done your characters a great justice. Looking forward to the next offering!
~OW
Author's Response:Obsidianwarloc, Honestly, everytime I read a review from you it brightens up my day.
I really don't see myself as a good writer, but I understand the points you've made about my writting. Is that weird?
Either way, thank you so much for giving such great (construtive) feedback and observations. I will definitly keep in mind all the points you've made for future scriblings of mine.
Oh my gosh, what a place to end a chapter. Loving this story! More soon please. You really have their voices down I think. :)
Author's Response:Hi AustenFuego, Thanks for taking the time to read this little story of mine. I hope you enjoy it and will continue to follow it though to the end.
OH wow. Seriously. I am so excited to see where you take this and I love that you wrote this from Buffy's POV. It sounds just like her.
Author's Response:Thank you. I try my best to get that Buffy sensibility. I hope you stick with this one, there's a few loops along the way.
This chapter will stick out in my head for weeks, and likely influence my own stories. You have a masterpiece here, and it's real enough to believe that you took a real life story, changed the names of the people and dashed in a bit of Slayer detail. It's amazing.
Times of struggle can forge friendships, but only times of peace can forge a family. I can think of no better portrayal of this than what you've written.
~OW
Author's Response:Oh my God, thank you for such a wonderful and unexpected review. I had no idea how much it would resonate with people.
Oh I love it. Can't wait to see where this goes :)
Author's Response:Wait no longer... well, it's a 'one chaperter at a time' kinda deal ;)
Thank you, I have read the new chapter. In regard to your reply: Yes, I can see what's coming. I'm extraordinarily impressed with how mature everyone is. That's such a rare thing in these stories, and so refreshing to see. Definitely one of my favorite stories, even after just two chapters.
~OW
Author's Response:Thank you. You've put a smile on my face :D
awesome chap
Author's Response:Thank you. The next one has been added.
very cute!
Author's Response:It gets cuter :)
I can see why this would have been nominated. You have well-defined personalities for both Buffy and Faith, and have established the relationship dynamic in as few words as possible. You didn't even need Willow in the scene to make this work, though she does add to it (by defining 'everyone else's' standpoint).
Good job all the way around! Got more?
~OW
Author's Response:Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. I have added the next chapter, so that should give you a taste of the what's to come. I do have more stories I could upload here. Taking it a step at a time. :)