FIRST –

I can still feel her lips on my skin as I walk out the door leaving the blonde sleeping in her bed. If this had been the first time, I might have tried to stay longer, make her feel like I wasn’t here for a fuck and run. But, no, this was happening nearly every night.

Last night was loud and drunk and…bruising. I rub my neck. The marks are starting to fade, but anyone can clearly see the outline of a hand…her hand. She only does this when she’s wasted.

I had pushed her against the door and snatched her top open. She groaned my name as I found her nipple with my tongue. I worked on her jeans with one hand and held her in place with my other. We always start out this way…me in control, her mentally preparing herself for “one last time” that we know will never be the last.

I got her jeans open and pushed them down. One look and she knew to step out of them. No panties. I guess she had plans for the night.

SECOND –

I watch as she grabs her robe and towel. She smiles back at me before heading to the bathroom.

“I’ll just be a minute.”

She’s lying, and I laugh, knowing she’ll be more like 45 minutes…and that’s if she doesn’t wash all that hair. I move to the window and slide it open. I light the cigarette in my hand, sitting on the sill to keep the smell outside.

I’m on my third smoke and second beer by the time she comes back. She walks up to me and takes the cigarette from me. My clit jumps when she moans as the smoke hits her lungs. Never pegged her for a smoker, but she loves to steal drags from me before we fuck.

She stubs out the cigarette and pulls me to the bed. I sit and watch her slip off her robe and shake out her hair.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want to see you.”

I don’t have to say anything more. She knows exactly what I mean.

I inhale sharply as her hand slides down her chest, over her abdomen and to the light brown strip of hair. She dips two fingers lower and rubs her clit. I can see the moisture on her fingers as she removes her fingers and steps closer to the bed.

She teases my bottom lip with her slick fingers.

“Open.”

I do as I’m instructed and moan as I taste her on my tongue.

“God that’s good. Show me.”

She lays down at the foot of the bed and lifts her knees. I watch her hands move down her body. She moves her fingers, three this time, to her dripping cunt and buries them as deep as she can. It takes all my power not to jerk her hand away and fuck her until she screams.

I watch as she alternates between fucking herself and rubbing her clit until she makes the strangled gasp that she makes every time she’s about to come. Every. Single. Time. She makes this noise without fail, and I know it will take exactly three more strokes over her swollen clit before she screams my name. She admitted that this even happens when she’s alone. Always the same…always my name.

Three strokes and I hear my name spill from her lips. She unconsciously clenches her legs together as her body spasms.

“Good girl.”

She nods and exhales loudly.

“I am.”

I scoot over on the bed as she moves to lay next to me. Her head hits my shoulder and I curl my arm around her. Cuddling. I don’t even know what the hell to do with this, but I do it for her when she needs it.

“You have on clothes.”

I laugh as she pouts.

“I do. That a problem?”

“Need you naked. On me. In me. Please.”

I sit up and slip off my shirt before stripping out of my jeans. I skipped my underwear myself knowing I would be in her bed tonight.

She moans as I slide behind her, naked, my nipples slipping against her back. She reaches back and slips one finger between my legs.

“So wet. Taste.”

She rolls as I move to straddle her face. She says this is one of her favorite ways to make me come. Something about smelling, tasting and feeling the weight of me. I don’t really care as long as her tongue doesn’t stop hitting my clit like that.

It doesn’t take long before I’m rolling my hips against her face for more friction. I inhale as three of her fingers slip into my pussy. She pushes deeper as I spread my legs more, urging her to fuck me harder. I grab the headboard and close my eyes as it hits me.

She grunts against my cunt as I gush onto her chin and neck. She slows her fingers as I ride her face.

“So good.”

I whimper lowly as she removes her fingers. I push onto her face one last time sending a shot through my body as her tongue flicks my clit.

“God. You can never stop doing that. Ever.”

“Never.”

I move to lay beside her and find the left side of my face in a sticky-slick pool on her shoulder. I chuckle and get up to get a towel from the chair.

“Clean up slut,” I say as I toss it to her.

Her eyes darken to almost gray, and I know she’d smack me if she could reach me.

“Fuck you.”

“Again already?”

And it starts all over again. Hours pass before she’s finally asleep with her head on my chest. She loves to curl up there while I drag my nails lightly on her back.

I wait for her breathing to even out before I slide out of the bed. I scribble a note and grab a flower from the vase by the window. Sitting them both on the pillow next to her, I kiss her forehead and pause when I see her eyelids flutter. She mumbles in her sleep and rolls over.

That’s how I leave her. Quietly saying my name in her sleep.

THIRD –

This time she’s not asleep when I try to leave. I watch her eyes almost begging me to stay. I watch as she drops the sheet and touches her breasts. She’s trying her damnedest to get me to stay.

“You know you want it.”

I clench my jaw and push the door closed before moving back to the bed. I grab her wrists and force them up to the headboard. I snatch off my belt and weave it around her wrists and the headboard until I’m sure she can’t move.

“Shut up.”

Her legs spread as I move between them. She’s such a slut when she’s horny. I have to stifle a laugh as her hips lift off the bed toward my face. I smack her leg and push her down on the bed.

“No.”

I lean down and her scent hits me. I listen for the hitch in her breath as I drag a single finger through her lips and bump her clit along the way. Sometimes I think I know her body better than my own.

She whimpers when my breath hits her pussy. I can tell she wants to beg, plead, anything that will get me to put my mouth on her.

I indulge her wants, burying my tongue in her wet cunt. She’s looser, more relaxed after fucking for hours earlier. That doesn’t stop her from grunting as my tongue fills her.

“Pl-“

I jerk away before she can finish the word.

Her eyes widen and she knows she’ll be punished if she tries to speak again. She nods and closes her eyes again.

I move back to her center and push three fingers into her cunt while I lick her clit. I feel her push against me with each stroke until I stop and jerk my hand away from her.

Her eyes widen and turn black. She bites her bottom lip so hard I’m pretty sure there’s blood, but she doesn’t speak.

“Good girl.”

I shift her feet back, pushing her knees up and spreading her open for me. Her thighs are covered in a mix of her and me and lube. I take advantage and thrust four fingers into her. She moans and shifts her hips, willing them wider for me.

I wait for her to adjust to the addition of my thumb before curling my hand into a fist and pushing deeper. Grunts and gasps and four-letter words spill from her mouth as my fist fucks her cunt.

She grinds against my hand and unconsciously tugs at her restraints. I know she wants to touch her clit. She wants to come.

“Not yet slut.”

I watch her face shift into an angry twist as she bites down on her lip again.

“Speak quickly. Three words or less.”

“Come now, please.”

I fuck her harder and wait for her frustration to turn to moans as she gets closer to orgasm. When I feel her clench down on my fist I bring my free hand to her clit and brush my thumb over the swollen nub.

She screams when she comes then quietly chants my name like a prayer, only stopping when I pull my hand from her.

“Can’t move.”

“Good.”

I grab a dirty shirt from the floor and wipe my hands off before freeing her wrists.

“I’ll call you later, k?”

She nods as I stand up and walk toward the door. Her eyes are heavy and beginning to glisten. I hate to see her cry, and she only cries when I leave right after we fuck. This is why I usually wait until she’s asleep. Because I see her about to open her mouth as I turn the doorknob.

“Stay?”

I pretend like I don’t hear her. She knows I did, but she won’t come after me. She’s too afraid to push me away completely by being too needy.

FOURTH –

She was crying when I got to her house. I followed her upstairs and watched her take her clothes off. She was trying to force things to happen in hopes of moving past this feeling in her gut.

I knew it would be nearly impossible to get her off if she was this upset. So, I followed suit and undressed before getting into bed. I held the covers up and motioned for her to sit next to me.

She curled into my side and wrapped her arms tightly around me, her fingernails digging into my skin.

“What’s wrong?”

I listened as she explained the bad day and the stupid song on the radio that triggered the memories of losing her mom.

“Everything crashed around my head after that,” she told me as I rubbed her back. She stopped talking and buried her face in my shoulder.

“It’ll be ok. I promise. We’ll just lay here for a bit until you feel better.”

She smiles up at me and snuggles closer like she’s trying to become part of my skin.

“When do you have to leave?”

Puzzled, I look at her and kiss her forehead.

“What do you mean?”

“You never stay the whole night. You’re always gone when I wake up.”

I nod and close my eyes. I really don’t know that I can have this discussion with the sad girl beside me. I’m already behind in points just thinking of walking away from her in this state.

“Because this isn’t my place to stay. This isn’t some long term thing here.”

“Really? We’ve been fucking nearly every night for the better part of a year and this isn’t some ‘long term thing’ we have? Are you that dense?”

She’s right. And even more, she doesn’t know she’s the only one I’ve been with in all that time.

“And you want what from me?”

“You. Just you. Here with me when I wake up and go to bed and brush my teeth. For fuck sake, I want you. Why else would I allow this chaotic relationship continue? I could find a fuck buddy with fewer strings and emotional attachments.”

Right again. Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“I don’t know if I can be that for you. I’ve never been one for commitment. It’s just not who I am.”

“Then just go now. I’d rather start living without you than continue with this misery. I hate waking up and finding you gone.”

“You want me gone? Fine. I’ll go. But you know as well as I do that you need me. No one knows you like I do.”

She sat up and rubbed her wrists, the faint marks from last night still visible.

“I’m sure I can find someone to tie me up and fist me.”

She was testing me, pushing just the right buttons to get me to stay a little longer.

“Fuck you. If you want someone else, go find her.”

And that was all I needed to say to make her react.

She slapped me hard before pushing me back on the bed. I heard her rifling through the nightstand drawer then the clinking of metal. She slapped one cuff on my wrist and wove the chain around the headboard before closing the other cuff around my free wrist. This wasn’t going to end…well, sure it would be good, but she was pissed so it would be painful.

I pulled at the cuffs to see how much I could move. She wrapped her hands around my wrists and forced them still.

“Don’t fucking move.”

I usually have to try not to laugh when she takes charge, because no matter how much she wants to be, she’s anything but dominant when we’re in bed. This time, she’s steady and hard and forceful.

She ties a scarf around my head and whispers more instructions reminding me not to talk or move. Part of me wants to test her and ask if I have permission to breathe, but I prefer my jaw to work rather than her punching me.

I listen as she moves off the bed and shuffles around the room. I can’t tell what she’s doing, but it sounds like she’s getting dressed. That would be irony, her leaving me here tied up and helpless like this.

But she doesn’t leave. In fact, she’s back on the bed and straddling my chest before I can even react to the bed shifting.

“What are you doing?”

“No one said you could speak slut. Do it again and see what happens.”

I snap my mouth shut and try to behave…mostly. I mean, I’m not opposed to her roughing me up just a little.

She scoots up until her knees are almost touching my elbows.

I feel her nails drag down both of my arms making me wince.

“Open.”

I open my mouth and feel the soft rubber rub against my lips as she thrusts forward.

She tugs the blindfold from my eyes and points.

I look down to see the purple appendage jutting from her pale hips. She’s only done this once before, after a huge fight when I left her at the bar to get away from her crying and whining. She found me at my apartment and forced me to my knees and “suck my cock bitch.”

She’s thrusting gently now, making a point of proving she’s in control. I moan against the cock in my mouth and grip the headboard.

“Aren’t you such a good little slut tonight.”

I watch her move from my chest and slide down the bed. She pushes my knees up and apart. I look around for the lube we normally have by the bed for just this kind of fuck, but it’s nowhere. I’m gonna feel this tomorrow.

She guides the cock to me and pushes in until her hips smash against mine. She forces it in and out until I’m sure she’s bruised my insides.

I grunt as she thrusts hard one more time before shifting on the bed.

“Roll.”

I roll over with some difficulty and feel my wrists strain against the twisting cuffs. I clench my legs together and turn my head to try to see her.

She straddles my thighs and slips the appendage between my legs before shoving it in and making me scream. She loves making this part painful, knowing that she’s the only one who has ever fucked me this way.

I push back against her assault, willing her deeper into my cunt, feeling the tingling begin. I hold my breath and feel her lay on top of me. Her tits press against my back and she wraps her arms under my shoulders, gripping her nails into the skin there.

“Come.”

I can follow orders when they mean an orgasm with her inside me. I move my hips in rhythm with hers and feel my thighs go numb. Four, five, six strokes and she bites hard on my shoulder. That’s when my eyes clench shut and I’m pretty sure my clit is exploding. She keeps pumping until I beg her to stop.

“Aww, can’t take it anymore?”

I shake my head. She’d won this round. I’m staying the night.