Amends Part 2 (First Things...Second)

Buffy and Faith stood in Giles office, the Watcher was sat at his desk as he looked at the two girls. “You had a dream about Angel?”

Faith gestured at Buffy. “Not me, her. Angel ain’t really my type.”

 “And, for the record, I was IN Angel’s dream. There were things, details I couldn’t possibly know about. It was Angel’s past, his memories. And I got sucked in.” Buffy had rarely felt this agitated; zero sleep and lots of caffeine had made her jittery.

Giles leaned back in his chair, his face doubtful. “I’m not sure how that’s feasible...”

“I saw other things in my...his dream. These people, creepy looking monk-priest guys.” Buffy handed Giles the crude sketch she’d made last night after coming back to the house, “They're the one’s working some kind of spell on him, he’s in trouble.”

Giles sighed. “I know. I’ve seen him.” He looked at Buffy, “He wanted to know why he was back.”

“Did you tell him, about the wish I mean? I know we don’t know for certain but it’s a possibility, right? It could give him some answers.”

He shook his head. “He ran off before we could discuss anything. I think his torments are no longer restricted to when he’s asleep.”

Buffy gestured to sketch of the bringers. “Then we find these guys, stop them. I mean, there has to be a way.”

Giles put down his glasses and gestured out to the library. “Well, I’ve already made a stab at looking. But this may give us a new direction.”

“Well, then let me help. You said maybe something had plans for him. That means this could be my fault. Faith can help too.”

Faith raised her eyebrows. “Hey, don’t drag me into this...”

Buffy frowned at the other girl. “Why not?”

“Hey, gals gotta know her strengths, right? The whole book thing...”

“Fine, then go home. Giles, we have work to do.” With that Buffy moved out of his office and went over to the desk.

Faith followed her. “Hey, B, where’s the fire, ‘kay. You have some freaky dream, went to some empty cave and now it’s all wicked tense. Am I missing somethin’?”

Buffy turned. “Look, I know you don’t really like Angel, I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re less than eager to spend Christmas vacation in a musty library.”

“That ain’t...yeah, I know I’m not Angel’s biggest pal, in fact I’ve got a few good reasons for not liking him. But, you explain to me why this is so important and I’m onboard.”

“It’s important because he’s in trouble and I still care what happens to him, even if we aren’t together.” Buffy was too tired and worried for this, and she couldn’t even tell Faith the truth. “And while we’re at it, what exactly are these ‘few good reasons’, huh, Faith?”

Faith folded her arms defensively. “I dunno, how ‘bout; he’s a vampire?”

“Reformed.”

Faith snorted at that. “Fine, then how about this; he loved you, screwed you, broke your heart and then tried to kill you. There, that’s a whole bunch more.”

Buffy scowled. “Fine, you get to be President of The We-Hate-Angel fan club.”

“Actually, that would be me.” Xander answered as stood by the door, “I’ve got the pin and everything to prove it... So Angel’s in trouble? Uh, you need any help?” He walked in, shrugging at Buffy’s look. “Hey, I can all noble and self-sacrificing, ‘tis the season, after all.”

Buffy’s expression softened as she smiled at Xander. “Thank you.”

Giles exited the office with books in hand. “Excellent, let’s get started. Xander ‘The Black Chronicles’, Buffy, you take the ‘Diary of Lucious Temple’, an acolyte of Acathla and an expert on demons. You can skip the passages about his garden, unless you’re keen on growing hearty beets.” He handed the books out and paused to regard Faith. “Are you staying?”

Faith looked at Buffy for a long moment and then shrugged off her jacket. “Looks like.”

“Excellent. Here’s DuChamps’ ‘Treatises on Dimensional Vortices’, it goes into dimensional weak spots and such.”

Faith grimaced. “Got any pictures in it?” But she still took it and walked to the steps before sitting down. 

Buffy turned to Xander. “Is everything okay between you and Cordelia?”

Xander smiled a long-suffering smile. “Put it this way, I kept up the Harris Christmas tradition of arguing and bitter recrimination, only without the alcohol.”

Buffy winced sympathetically. “I’m so sorry, Xander. It was my total bad.”

He shrugged. “Not your fault, Buff. We just need a little break I guess, and by that I don’t mean Cordelia having an accident while skiing. We’ll make up when she gets back, so actually this is the most fun I’ve got planned. Hey, who else can claim that pathetic a social life?”

Willow came in, arms swinging. “Hey, guys! What are we doin’?”

*~~*

‘The First knows that this has all happened before? How is that possible? Did the First grant the wish? Or does it know what did?’

Buffy’s head had been tiredly whirling these questions around in her head for hours now and she still didn’t know what to do. She just stared helplessly at an open book written in Middle English, trying to work out how anybody thought it was helpful to talk about demons in flowery language and long verse. Stupid Middle English, she much preferred End English. Or American even.

 Angel was in serious danger, hell, maybe they all were. Angel’s turning evil or even his death was what The First wanted before, but now?

Buffy had to tell Giles something, ask him questions about all the possibilities. But tell him what? That Faith had gone evil in some other timeline? Buffy just couldn’t bring herself to do that to her, Faith deserved the fresh start, another chance. Giles looking at her sideways all the time....would be a strain on their new relationship.

But Buffy had to tell Giles something about the time-travel/do-over aspect, that she’d done this before and knew it was the First. Or maybe she could fake a prophecy dream? They were always pretty vague though, no specifics. Maybe she could point Giles in the right direction...

Head feeling fuzzy from so many thoughts Buffy stood up and stretched her legs. Walking over to the steps, Buffy watched as Faith traced a line from a book with her finger, unconsciously mouthing out a particular word. “So, um, how are you doing?”

Faith looked up from her book. “Well, I learned that, before today, I didn’t really know what ‘bored to death’ really meant. Guess I was just foolin’ myself.”

Buffy smiled slightly. “Oh, anything else?”

Faith blew out her cheeks. “Nothin’ useful.” She threw down the book, “Beets.” She said in disgust.

Buffy put a foot up on the steps and lowered her voice. “Um, Faith, I’m sorry about freaking out earlier...”

“B, you’ve been freakin’ out since last night at the cave, okay? Y’think I didn’t notice? Talking to thin air, getting all worked up, then coming home and wanting to sleep on your own, keeping me at a distance. I know your not telling me everything.”

“Faith...” Buffy sagged as she moved forward and sat down next to the other girl, “You’re right, okay. I-I totally freaked. In the cave there was this thing, like a ghost, but I could see it. I don’t know why you couldn’t. This thing claimed it was behind what’s happening to Angel...it really scared me.”

Faith hesitantly put a hand up and stroked the back of Buffy’s head. “So you gotta tell Giles, right? Sounds like a lead.”

“This thing...spirit, whatever, it made itself look like somebody I knew, a woman who, uh, she died last year. Angelus killed her when he was on his rampage. This woman...Giles knew her; he was in love with her. I just... don’t know what I should do. I don’t want to upset him...

Faith nodded. “Hey, y’know me, not the best thinker, I’ll follow your lead. But, if it were me, I guess I’d trust my Watcher enough to let ‘em try and cope with the truth, y’know.” She gently leaned Buffy’s head against her shoulder, “This thing’s really got ya shakin’, huh?”

Buffy closed her eyes and sighed into Faith’s neck. “I’m just really glad your here.”

Faith chuckled softly, her voice low and husky. “Better than tryin’ t’kill me right?”

Buffy froze, her eyes snapped open. “What?”

“I mean all this, actually taking the time, just t’get to know me, instead of just turning on me like that. You were my only friend, B.” Faith’s voice was light, but there was an edge to it, “Hey, that reminds me, I got your present.” Faith’s hand appeared as she twisted around next to Buffy; it was holding the knife Buffy had used on her, still bloody.

“Right here.” Faith buried the blade in Buffy’s stomach.

*~~*

Buffy jerked awake, gasping, a hand clutching at her tummy.

Willow, sat next to her, turned with a concerned look. “Buffy, are you alright? You dosed off for a moment.”

Buffy let out a shaky breath. That dream...it had been so vivid, so real. And the pain, the look in Faith’s eyes as she stabbed, had been so familiar.

“I’m fine, Will. Just a-a nightmare.”

Willow fiddled with her notepad. “Was it an Angel-y nightmare, with those priest-guys getting a guest spot?”

“Um, yeah, I-I really need to talk to Giles.” Buffy got up and quickly hurried over to his office, glancing at Faith as she passed. The dark-haired slayer was still sitting on the steps reading over a book, as Buffy went by she looked up and frowned at Buffy.

‘Maybe the First is sending me dreams now, or maybe...that was just a regular nightmare.’ Buffy shook her head, ‘But Faith does know I’m hiding something...’

Buffy entered Giles’ office and closed the door behind her; Giles looked up, his face tired. “Buffy, have you found something?”

Buffy paced back and forth in front of him, wringing her hands nervously. “Um, yeah. I-I think I have info...It might help, just...just don’t be angry, okay?”

“What?” Giles took off his glasses and scratched his forehead, smiling in his best ‘bemused father’ expression.

“This thing, the thing that’s doing this, it’s called the First. As in the First Evil. Like Original Coke only with more of the evil and less, um, soda.”

Giles, still confused, nodded. “Oh, well, I know of the theory. Not everyone has heard of this 'First', ah, even fewer believe it even exists. What makes you so sure?”

“I didn’t, um, tell you everything about the wish. It wasn’t really an ‘Angel coming back from hell’ wish exactly. It was more of a ‘repeat the last year of my life’ wish. I’ve kinda...” Buffy cringed, “Done all this before.”

Giles looked up, startled. “You’ve...You mean to tell me you’re reliving this last year, because of the wish you made?”

“Uh-huh. Like Groundhog Day, only it’s only the once so far. I-I mean I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details, but the main stuff I’m getting right...this time round.”

“Well, that’s...surprising.” Giles thought about it, and said flatly. “So that’s why you told all of us about Angel when he returned. You knew it was going to happen. And you knew about Ethan Rayne and the, uh, candy. And about Mrs. Post...”

“Giles, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t think I’d have to...I mean I probably would’ve eventually, y’know, but...Look, I’m in real trouble here.”

Giles, still trying to gather his thoughts, looked at her. “What kind of trouble?”

Buffy ran her hands through her hair. “The First totally knows about the repeating thing, I went to try and stop it like the last time and it knew I was there. It totally psyched me out and then left. Poof.”

Giles stood up. “Well, I, uh, I suppose that should be our priority then. The First may very well take a different tack, but we must assume for now that its focus will still be on Angel.” He looked levelly at Buffy, “What is...was the First’s plan for Angel?”

“It’s trying to convince him that it brought him back. It, um, wants him to turn evil again, give in and become Angelus.”

Giles digested this silently. “Then I think its best that you stay away from him.” His next question was more pointed, “Why did you make this wish in the first place, Buffy? It’s very important you tell me the truth.”

Buffy hesitated for a moment, and then lied. “Angel. He, uh, he died. He was poisoned...and he, there was no cure to help him. It was very slow and painful...and when he was dying I just wished...that I did things differently. With him.”

“I see. And, ah, when was this exactly?” Giles asked, but Buffy knew what he was really asking.

Buffy couldn’t help but let some coldness creep into her voice. “Well, if you’re asking if I survived my surprise eighteenth birthday party, the answer is barely.”  

Giles visibly flinched and looked away from her, shaken. “Oh, uh, um, yes, of course. You, ah, should go on home Buffy, it’s getting late. I need to digest the implications of what you’ve told me...and I’ll also look into the First’s practices; see if I can’t uncover some leads.” He put his glasses back on, “I-I trust you managed to best the First last time?”

“Yeah, but I only found it then because with those bringer guys, living things like plants don’t grow near them. Total dead zone. We might have to try something else.” Buffy thought about it, “Hey, these bringers have to cast a spell, so that the First can, uh, appear and mess with people’s heads and stuff, right?”

Giles nodded. “I believe so, from what I’ve read The First is incorporeal, it’s a force that transcends all realities and dimensions. It has to be focused to, ah, use a measure of its full power.”

Buffy nodded. “Right, so we don’t track the priests, we track the spell. I mean, it’s got to be powerful right? Condensing evil probably isn’t easy, and again I find myself thinking of Original coke.”

“It is an avenue I’ll explore.” Giles picked up a book and looked out the window, “Buffy, you’re advice to me about Faith...”

Buffy shook her head. “Is what I told you last time...sort of. Look, don’t worry about Faith. Angel’s the one in danger.”

Giles sighed. “Very well...Buffy, I-I am glad you decided to tell me.”

Buffy smiled at her Watcher. “I still trust you, Giles. That’s why I’m telling you, okay?”

Giles cleared his throat awkwardly as Buffy left. She walked carefully over to the steps, Faith was fighting sleep, eyelids flickering open and closed as he struggled with her book.

“Um, Faith?”

Faith jerked to attention. “Huh? What? I’m good, what’s up?”

Buffy smiled slightly. “Giles has found some answers about what’s doing this. He’s told us to go home; we’ll have some more stuff tomorrow. And I think our time can be better spent doing other things.”

Rubbing her eyes Faith smiled happily as she looked Buffy up and down. “Read my mind, B.”

“That’s so not what I meant.” Buffy replied as she blushed, “But tomorrow we can hit the streets, look up some old friends. Maybe find something.”

It was a long shot heading for Willie’s place, but who knows, the bringers had upped sticks and moved, maybe somebody had seen where they’d moved to. It was worth a try and Buffy liked the thought of doing something to take her mind off Angel troubles. Still, she did feel better, telling Giles had been the right thing, he knew what he needed to know and that was enough.

Xander wandered over. “Hey, what are you girls talking about? Anything naughty?”

Faith raised her eyebrows. “I wish.”

Buffy flapped a hand at Faith. “Actually, we were thinking of trying to find out info the old-fashioned way. If you’re not busy tomorrow you could join us.” Buffy ignored Faith’s annoyed look, it would be harder for her to try anything if she had an audience. At least Buffy hoped so.

Xander bobbed his head. “Sure, watching you and Faith hit people for fu...I mean, to find stuff out, sounds like a blast.”

“Cool, stop by our house around eleven and we’ll be ready.” Buffy reached over and took Faith’s hand, “Come on, take me home.”

Buffy and Faith left the library; Giles watched them go with a thoughtful look.

*~~*

Buffy lay in bed, covers pulled down, a hand gently stroked her skin. She opened hers eyes and Angel was sitting there, his fingers gently intertwined with hers. Then, without really knowing how, they were against each other, Buffy sat on his lap on the bed, tentative kisses turning to heated ones. She felt his strong arms around her, his fingers sliding across silky night clothes to gather in her hair.

His lips were just like she remembered, cool until she warmed them with her own, his mouth taking in her breath, his skin brushing against hers. Buffy found herself removing his clothing, her hands on firm marbled muscle, fingernails absently tracing patterns as their lips broke away.

Angel’s eyes lovingly swept over her, his mouth a soft smile of remembrance and longing. His hands removed her silken pyjamas so that they were skin against skin.

And then she was on top of him, moving against him, taking him into herself. Forgetting everything but the pleasure of being with Angel again, of fitting together perfectly, of knots of desire ebbing and building within herself. Her longing for him was still there, buried, perhaps fading but now it seemed as strong as ever.

They rolled so Angel was on top, his weight solid and firm on top of her, making her feel safe and protected. His waist moving against hers, hips sliding against the insides of her thighs so she didn’t know where she ended and he began, there was just heat and pleasure and tenderness building with increasing speed towards a precipice which would sweep her into blissful oblivion.

And then he bit her, teeth and sharp pain and then weakening, dizzying pleasure flowed from her neck as he drained her of life...

*~~*

Buffy’s eyes widened as she awoke to Faith shaking her. “Buffy, wake up, you were moaning.”

Buffy sat up blearily on her elbows, her face flushed. The dream had been so real, like a blend of crystal clear memory and an intense daydream fantasy. Her skin still tingled with the memory of Angel’s touch; the feel of him on top of her...If Angel was feeling anything like she was then they didn’t have much time.

Buffy blinked as sunshine lazily streamed through the windows, she looked at her bedside clock, which read seven o’clock. A whole day stretching out for them to find the First, she hoped it was enough.

Faith leaned over on the bed, concerned. “B, y’okay? You were kinda breathing heavy, bad dream?”

Buffy sat up and wiped at her face with both hands to hide the tinge of redness. “I’m fine...I just...the dream was a little intense.”

“Intense? As in not bad? As in...Oh.” Faith’s lips tightened into a hard line as she frowned.

Buffy swallowed nervously. “I think I was in another one of Angel’s dreams.”

“And he was dreamin’ about you?” Faith asked deadpan, before muttering, “Undead bastard.”

“Faith! It’s... not him doing it okay, it’s not his fault.”

Faith rolled off the bed, clad only in boxers and her white tee she stared down at Buffy. “Why are you always defending him, huh?”

Buffy sat up, still a little confused from the dream. “Because he hasn’t actually done anything wrong, Faith.”

Faith knelt down on the bed, gesturing helplessly. “Okay, so not now, but all those bad things he did back then...I mean that shit’s gotta still matter, right?”

Buffy nodded. “Of course it matters. What he did, it affected who he is now. He did bad things, and now, with the curse, he can make amends, y’know. Do good things.”

Faith looked down at the bed, shaking her head slightly. “S’ weird, hearing people talkin’ about a soul y’know, like its some kind of magical cure-all, no more badness. I met plenty of people with souls who weren’t nice at all.”

Buffy looked sympathetic. “I guess... a soul doesn’t really mean ‘good’, but it does mean having the choice to do good or do evil. I mean I’ve seen Angel and I’ve seen Angelus... Angel without a soul. It’s like their two different people. Angel has the ability to make that choice; I just want to give him the chance to do something with it.”

Faith didn’t say anything, just stared down at the bed.

Buffy reached over and took her hand. “Do you want to talk about the ‘not so nice people’?”

Faith, swallowing a little nervously, glanced at Buffy, her eyes guarded. “It’s no big.”

“Faith, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. But if something upsets you, well, I’d want to know. I care about you…and if you feel bad, then I feel bad for you.”

Faith frowned. “I don’t wanna upset you.”

Buff’s other hand reached up and cupped Faith’s cheek. “If you’re fine, then I’m fine, we don’t have to talk about anything. I’ll go and make us some breakfast and you can go and have a shower, okay?”

Faith seemed to be internally wrestling with something before replying. “Y’know it’s funny. I usually hate Christmas…things always go wrong around Christmas.”

“Oh. Um, how is that funny?”

“It’s just…” Faith shrugged, “’Things change, last Christmas was the last time I spent any time with my Mom, and her boyfriend, Gable.” The way Faith spat out that name almost made Buffy wince. “The Christmas before that I broke up with Ronnie, really kinda badly. And the Christmas before that I lost my virginity.” Faith sighed bitterly, “Basically Christmas means brace yerself for a crappier year than the one that’s gone before and… I really shoulda just kept my mouth shut.”

“No, Faith, I’m glad that you’re…I mean not about the actual stuff that happened, it sounded pretty rough...” Buffy winced at her own words, could she sound any lamer? Maybe if she came out with some stupid clichéd advice or something. She paused, “All the stuff that happened to you, I’m sorry that it happened but I want to know about it. Because I guess... I want to know about you, why you’re the person I like so much. Do you get that at all?”

Faith looked at Buffy, her eyes searching her for any sign of insincerity or lying.

“Anyway, last Christmas was different, right? This year you became a slayer, a totally righteous killer of evil things; you ended up in California which is warm and sunny- all the year round apparently. And you met me, so think how much better next years gonna be.”

She squeezed Faith’s hand in reassurance; the brunette squeezed it back fiercely and smiled. “Pretty good.”

*~~*

“Man, I thought I knew about all the dives in Sunny D, how’d I miss this?” Faith wrinkled her nose as she looked round.

“Yeah, just get a load of that ambiance.” Xander paused as he felt something, “Oh, but on the plus side; air conditioning.”

Buffy walked over to the bar, Willy looked up from cleaning a glass and called out to her. “Hey, it’s the SLAYER! What brings THE SLAYER down here?”

Buffy watched as a couple of the bumpier headed clientele made a hasty exit through the back. Faith glowered and pulled a stake. Buffy shook here head slightly. “We’re not here for that.”

Buffy looked at Willy as he stood behind the bar. “How you been, Willy?”

Willy smiled genially at them. “Keeping out of trouble, as God is my witness. So, w-what can do ya for, couple of drinks?”

Faith nudged Xander’s shoulder and reached into her pocket. “You want anythin’, I’m buyin’.”

Xander nodded. “Thanks, I’ll get a...” Buffy looked pointedly at him, “A...nice cool glass of water. Heh, it’s hot outside.”

Willy nodded. “You got it.” He reached under the counter for a glass. “Anything else?”

“No.” Buffy said firmly, “We’re looking for three priests. Call themselves the bringers.”

Willy eyebrows went up. “Priests, huh? Well, we serve all denominations here, none of that prejudice stuff.”

Faith leaned against the bar. “Yeah, we saw the clientele on their way out. But these guys ain’t the pope; they got a no-eyes kinda deal.”

Willy shook his head. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Well, how about I ring that bell for you?” Xander menaced before seeing Buffy’s look, “Does the, uh, threatening come now?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t play bad cop, Xand.” Faith said, putting a hand on his shoulder as she spoke to Willy, “Look, these dude woulda been holed up in town ‘til recent, then they woulda moved in a hurry.”

“Somewhere underground.” Buffy added, “They would be making a lot of scary people very nervous.”

Willy slid a glass of water over to Xander and thought about it. “I’m not sure...I don’t really want to say anything that would get me into trouble.”

Buffy smiled sweetly. “You realise I’m planning to skip the threatening portion of this exchange and get straight to the violence.”

Faith looked at Xander. “See that, that was a good threat.” She placed her hand on the bar, “That sure looks like a nice glass of water, Willy. What’s that gonna set me back? Fifty bucks?” Faith moved her hand slightly to reveal a few crumpled bills.

Willy’s eyes lit up; as snitches go he was pretty cheap. “Well, I might know somethin’...”

Faith slid her hand a little closer, and looked expectant.

“There’s been migration outta some of the hills to the south, there’s a lotta caves up there and it’s usually fairly quiet, ‘cept recently. That’s all I know.” Faith narrowed her eyes, “Hey, my ass is on the line for telling you that much. If I knew more, I’d say.”

Faith pulled her hand back, leaving the cash, which Willy quickly scooped up. “Pleasure doing business.”

“Thanks, Willy.” Buffy turned away to leave, at least they had information to start somewhere, just not much.

Willy looked at Xander. “Hey, you did great by the way. I was very intimidated by you.”

Xander gave a pleased smile. “Really? Thanks.”

“Come on.” Faith led him out the door.

Willy called after them. “Hey kid! Merry Christmas.”

The three of them stepped outside; the heat fell on them like a blanket. Xander turned to Faith. “You were awesome! That thing, the thing with the money, real noir stuff.”

“Yeah, back in my motel the only channel my box would play had non-stop, black and white gangster movies.” Faith shrugged, “Guess something stuck. Hey B, what’s up?”

“Just, as leads go it’s pretty thin. The caves in those hills go on for miles.” Buffy leaned against the wall, “We need more to go on and... I don’t know what to do.”

Faith scratched the back of her head. “Hey, Giles will come up with somethin’, it’s what he does.”

Xander agreed. “Caves are something, a kind of vague something but still...” Xander looked at his watch, “Look, I think the best plan is to deck the halls with boughs of holly. We’re getting towards the eve, might as well try and make something resembling merry.”

Faith squeezed Buffy’s shoulder. “C’mon, you’re Mom’ll be lookin for you.”

Xander looked into the middle-distance. “And Uncle Roary will be well into the sherry by now. Don’t wanna miss that.” He looked at Buffy. “We’ll find the bad guys, sooner or later.”

Faith took a couple of steps back. “Look, I’m gonna go and tell Giles, see if this helps with all that detectin’. You guys head home.”

Buffy took Faith’s arm before leaning in close and kissing her, and then she tilted her head back and smiled. “Thanks, I’ll see you later.”

Faith smirked before walking away, a bounce in her step. Xander watched her go, “Y’know I think if you two did that in front of me more often it might motivate my brain a bit more. I might be struck by inspiration.”

Buffy gave him a look. “Careful that’s all that ends up striking you, Xander.” She smiled slightly as they walked away from the bar together, “Seriously though, thanks.”

Xander gave a dismissive wave. “Don’t mention it. Well, actually, mention it as often as possible. In front of everyone. In fact, while you’re heaping me with praise, if you could also bring up my manly physique, that’d be a plus. Not compulsory, but...”

Buffy nodded. “I’ll talk to Faith, maybe we can work something out.”

*~~*

Buffy was trying to put the finishing touches to the tree, twinkling lights, baubles and ribbons decorated it. Buffy had taken her time so Faith could help but the other girl hadn’t shown up yet. Buffy tried not to worry, they had time yet. She just hoped Giles found something soon.

Buffy’s Mom walked into the living room. “So, that’s the turkey done, the nog prepared and...Oh.” She walked over a put another log into the fireplace.

“Oh, yes, nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat.” Buffy commented.

“Oh, come on, it’s lovely.” She looked around, “Maybe I should turn the air conditioning on? And where is Faith, she hasn’t put any presents under the tree.”

Buffy shrugged. “She said she hid them somewhere in case we tried to sneak a peak.”

Her Mom smiled as she reminisced. “Well, honey, it’s not like you haven’t tried that before...”

“Oh, come on, I was like seven then. And it was Dad’s fault for saying he’d bought me the Barbie Dream Car plus accessories. What was I supposed to do?”

“He never could keep a secret...”

And then the front door opened and Faith stepped inside, her face smiling but a little apprehensive. “Um, hey. Sorry I’m late.”

Buffy smiled. “Hey back, but where were you? I ended up doing the tree, so if you don’t like it, tough.”

Faith was apologetic. “Sorry I’m late...just got caught up with G...uh, Mr. Giles. He’s gonna be a little late; he’s going over to Willow’s house to get her to help with some research stuff, mojo. But he said he’ll come by later.”

Buffy’s Mom nodded in understanding. “Well, that’s okay I suppose. More food for you girls, although I swear I don’t know where you put it all.”She turned to Faith, “Would you like some nog?”

“That’d be great, but just a sec, I’m gonna get yer gifts...They're in the basement.”

Buffy rolled her eyes playfully. “Y’know, there is such a thing as excessive hiding.”She looked at Mom, “I should get mine, their just upstairs in my closet.”

Buffy moved cautiously up the stairs, if Giles was at Willow’s did that mean they were going to cast a spell? She should probably ask Faith a little later, all the normalcy of Christmas prep had dulled her nerves but she still expected something bad to happen. But, so far, no more dreams, either sexy or utterly terrifying. And no more appearances by the First, maybe it really was just all talk.

She walked into her bedroom and opened up her closet, and then the door to her room slammed shut, revealing Angel. He looked confused, like he was delirious, for a moment it seemed like he didn’t know where he was until his eyes fixated on her.

Buffy was startled. “Angel...”

Angel seemed unsteady; he was swallowing compulsively, his voice trembling. “Buffy...I...”

Buffy took a couple of cautious steps back, she raised her arms placating. “Angel, look its okay, I know what’s happening. something’s doing this to you.”

Angel’s voice cracked slightly. “I had to see you...I keep on having...seeing things.”

Buffy nodded. “I know. But their not real. It’s something evil, um, manipulating you. You just have to control yourself.”

Angel closed his eyes like his wrestling for control. “I saw you...with her.”

Buffy frowned. “Who? Angel you’re not...”

“Faith.” Angel’s voice was suddenly firm, with an edge to it, “You and her...she was on top of you. On the bed...I saw things...” His voice trailed off.

‘Oh, God...’ “Angel, please. You have to stay calm. The First is trying to confuse you.”

Angel moved forward, his expression suddenly predatory, like Angelus. “You’re the one who’s confused; fooling yourself with her...showing yourself to her...You should be with...”He stopped; unsure, looking off to right a little.

Buffy’s eyes widened in alarm. “Angel, please just let me help you.”

Angel grimaced and grabbed at his head like he was in pain. “Just leave me alone!” He dashed to the open window and threw himself out into the night.

Buffy’s door burst open and Faith came in. “What the hell?”

Buffy was shaken. “Angel was here, Faith. He’s slipping. We need Giles’ help now.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

Buffy shook her head. “No, you...you go to the mansion, keep an eye on Angel. Don’t get near him. I’ll go to Giles and find out if he’s got any answers, ‘cause we need them now.”

“You want me to play watchdog with Angel? What about Joyce?”

Buffy thought for a second. “I’ll get Giles and Willow to come back here after and keep a lookout for my Mom. Now go.”

Faith nodded as she grabbed her jacket off of the door. “Watch your back.”

“You too.”

*~~*

Buffy got to Willow’s house to find smoke billowing out of the front window. Alarmed, she raced to the front door and hammered against it. The door opened and Oz stood there with a slightly bemused smile. “Sad to say this isn’t my weirdest Christmas.”

Buffy heard Willow wailing. “My Mom’s table cloth!”

Giles was busily trying to keep his head. “Oh, Willow do calm down...it’s only a small, um, fire.”

 Buffy moved passed Oz into the Rosenberg living room to find Giles pouring a vase full of flowers and water over a small flickering fire on Willow’s coffee table that was covered with a crude map of Sunnydale. “What happened?”

Giles, looking a little red-faced, adjusted his glasses. “Hello, Buffy. Our, um, locator spell backfired.”

“Emphasis on fire.” Willow said glumly as she looked at the mess, “And that’s the azaleas gone too.”

Giles looked anxious as he waved away a little smoke. “Buffy, what are you doing here? Is, ah, everything alright?”

“It’s Angel, he’s slipping. The First has got him seeing...um, all sorts of things.” Buffy finished awkwardly.

“And we have nothing.” Willow replied helplessly before looking at Giles, “I told you locator spells are too tricky, I’m not that powerful.”

Giles tried to be patient. “And as I told you, Willow, this map is enchanted to aid in such clairsentient magics.”

Willow folded her arms as a reproof. “Well, you need a refund then, mister.”

“Guys,” Oz said leaning forward and pointing at the map, “Check it, ‘cause I’m thinking, ‘Here Be Dragons’.”

The map had seemed to resist most of the attentions of the fire, except for a small burnt spot the size  of a match head on the southern part of town,  in a crevasse between two hills.

Buffy examined the burn, tracing it with her finger. “That could be something...but its miles from here.”

Oz spoke up. “Not for my van, I could get us there in under an hour.”

Buffy looked at him before nodding. “Okay, but you stay in the van and lock the doors, this thing is dangerous.” She looked at an apprehensive Willow, “I promise I’ll leave your boyfriend like I found him, but we have to move now.”

Buffy turned to Giles. “Could you look after my Mom? I’ve got Faith out keeping a close eye on Angel but I’d feel better if Mom wasn’t alone, if you could come too, Will.”

They both agreed as Buffy and Oz moved quickly out to his van, to Buffy sunrise had never seemed so imminent.

*~~*

Oz stopped the van and turned on the cab light. “I think we’re here. So, you bring any weapons?”

Buffy sighed. “I always forget that. Are there any back there?” She gestured over her shoulder to the shadowy depths of his van interior.

Oz thought about it. “Only a couple of kicking amps and a few e-strings, they can be pretty nasty.”

“I think I’ll stick to the ‘kick it to it stops making noises’ plan of attack.”

Oz nodded. “If it works.”

Buffy got out of the van, quietly closing the door and was grateful to the clunk sound as Oz locked it after her. Buffy glanced at the map in the half light of van’s interior glow. Oz had reckoned that it could be an old mine or maybe an Indian cave, whatever it was Buffy would know it when she saw it. Chanting, candle light, creepy, evil vibe, all that would give it away.

Buffy jogged away from the van, cutting through dry, crackling bushes that clung to the hillside, peering through the gloomy shadows caused by the ominous trees that stood sentinel –like. She searched, conscious of the minutes ticking away, of the night draining slowly into the ether. She didn’t truly know if the clouds and snow would arrive this time, if what had caused them the first time had been some higher power, or Angel’s willingness to want to change, to be better. She didn’t want to chance it, rely on a miracle at your peril was something...someone probably said one time. Someone famous? Jesus, maybe, and if he hadn’t then he definitely should have.

Buffy was beginning to despair of ever seeing any clue when she saw it, a large crack in the wall of the hillside, like an old dried up waterfall. Overhead, perched on top was a dying cankerous tree, wilting more than the winter chill...well winter, would account for.

‘Gotcha, “nothing shall grow, above or below”, maybe flowery verse isn’t so bad.’

Buffy quickened over to the opening and paused, letting her eyes adjust from the weak moonlight to the inky darkness of the underground. She should’ve really brought a torch. Maybe she should invest in a utility belt with a torch, a couple of stakes, a few snack bars, and a yo-yo for when she got bored waiting for vamps to wake...

Then she heard it, an echoing of chanting, sound funnelled up and towards her by the slopes of the passageway. Buffy hastened forward, fingertips grazing both walls as she made her way inside, shoes treading softly on powdered dirt. She saw flickers, small blades of light stabbing the dark as the cave widened out and dropped away. She found herself standing on a raised mound of smoothed stone; the ground surrounding it was soft, like the silt of a sandbank. Kneeling upon it, with patterns drawn around them in the dirt and candles and fetishes scattered about were three robed figures, still oblivious to her presence.

Buffy announced herself. “This is the crappiest self-help group I’ve ever seen. What happened, the rest of the cultists not show up?”

The three stopped and turned as one and Buffy jumped off of the raised stone at them, bringing her leg up to strike one in the chest as she did so. She felt something, a bone; give in his torso as he flew backwards without a sound, landing in a heap.

Another stood and swung a club at her, she caught it, twisted it from the priest’s grasp before backhanding him into a wall and bringing the club down hard on his head. She turned to see the third figure standing behind her at where the cave narrowed, his sightless eyes looking up as he suddenly swung his staff upwards in a high arc. It struck the passage with an echoing sound and Buffy heard the harsh sound of grating stone, and then thunderous noise as boulders and rocks rained down all around them.

The priest was crushed in an instant, ground down into a wet paste by a stone that slammed across the opening , a few rocks bounced inward and struck Buffy as she quickly turned away, hitting her shoulder and the back of her legs as she dived for cover. Pebbles and billowing stone dust coated her as she buried herself as low as she could, hands over her ears.

Before long the rumbling thunder became deafening silence, Buffy blearily raised her head, feeling red patterns of pain across her back and down her left leg, she pushed herself up before realising that her leg was immovable, jammed under a large wedge shaped stone, and the only source of light now came from high above her in the cave’s ceiling, where weak beams of moonlight managed to dimly illuminate the cavern around her.

“Hmn, that looks like it might have to come off.”

Buffy turned as best she could to see Miss Calendar, the First standing by the cave-in, looking at her trapped leg in mock sympathy.

Buffy grunted as she pulled on her leg, she didn’t feel pain, a slight numbness, maybe, but she was able to move her knee backwards and forwards a little. She would be able to free herself.

“In a few hours.” The First said, “And it will certainly help when the sun comes up so you can see better...” The First crossed over to her, her arms folded. “I think I just spotted a flaw in that plan, since after sunrise, things...won’t be so urgent now, will they?”

Buffy managed to push herself to her hands and knees and looked at the First. “This? This is your plan? Which particular Saturday Morning Show did you rip this one off of?” Although in reality she could feel the cold sweat of panic seeping in. Even if Oz came running and somehow found a way to her, she didn’t have that much time...

The First ‘sat’ down on a nearby rock, seemingly oblivious to her two dead priests lying around. “In fairness, the Lone Ranger used dynamite. My bringers lack that sort of finesse. Still, effective enough, don’t you think?”

“The snow...”

“That’s right, the magical fairy-tale snow that appeared. Hmn, that is a factor.” The First pretended to think, “But let’s suppose for a moment that somebody, say, a certain Boston girl was on hand to...speed up the process.”

Buffy’s face twisted. “No, she wouldn’t.”

The First looked incredulous. “Oh, wouldn’t she? Angel wants to die, and Faith loves killing things, we both know all about that. If Angel were to attack Faith in some sort of...well, gosh, maybe a jealous rage? Then she would defend herself without question, and I don’t know if it’s escaped your notice but she doesn’t really like the guy. As positive qualities go you don’t really value ‘stable’ very highly, do you?”

“Screw you!” Buffy said, using her anger to pull hard at her leg, she felt stones rattle and dislodge but she didn’t break free.

The First stood and stepped closer. “Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas will be his wake. But don’t take my word for it. Watch.” With that it reached out and pressed a single intangible finger against Buffy’s forehead.

*~~*

She found herself standing on the familiar hillside, looking out over to the town. Angel was standing there, his broad back to her. Buffy felt an immediate wave of relief. She could explain and tell him what was happening. “Angel!”

He didn’t move, didn’t tilt his head, he stayed standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting to die.

Buffy moved over, her hand reaching out to grasp him, shake him, but, predictably her fingers went right through him with no resistance. Buffy stepped back, her hand to her mouth. The First was going to make her watch him die.

“Angel.”

Angel stiffened before turning slightly, his features set in a frown. “Faith, what are you doing here?”

“Faith, please, help him!” No luck, Faith ignored her too.

Faith shrugged as she stepped closer, though still keeping her distance. “B wanted me t’keep an eye on you. Make sure you ain’t gonna do anything stupid, pretty sure this qualifies...”

Angel dismissed her. “Go, leave me alone. You don’t want to be here for this.”

Faith seemed amused. “I don’t, huh? I dunno, maybe I shoulda brought some popcorn.”

Buffy looked at Faith. “Faith, this isn’t the time for stupid jokes. Get him inside!” ‘If she is joking...’

Angel shook his head in defeat. “Do what you want. I don’t care.”

Faith stuffed her hands in her pockets and looked down at the town. “Doncha wanna say goodbye to Buffy first?  Seems kind of rude not to.”

“I shouldn’t go near Buffy, not again.”

“Because that’s what that First thing wants right? Smart plan. I’m thinkin’ this is a bit extreme though, y’know? Weren’t you gonna just leave town?”

Angel’s voice was filled with sorrow. “The...First, whatever it was, it wasn’t haunting me. It was showing me the truth, what I am. Leaving town won’t change that.”

Faith sounded unsure. “You mean what you used to be?”

“And forever shall be.” He said, before tilting his head, “I can smell the sunrise, it won’t be long now.”

Faith sighed as she grabbed his shoulder and pulled. “We ain’t got time for this martyr crap, just come on already.”

Angel shrugged her off angrily, knocking her arm aside. “Don’t interfere!”

“Screw you!” Faith wound up and punched Angel hard in the side of the face. He grunted, took it and swung a fierce backhand that swatted Faith away. The brunette tumbled in the grass before rising up and drawing a stake.

Angel gave a harsh laugh. “Good plan, Faith. Stake the vampire who wants to die.” He shook his head and turned his back to her. “Idiot.”

Buffy watched as Faith’s face turned angry, she weighed the stake in her hand and looked at Angel’s back, clearly tempted.

Buffy begged the other slayer as she saw what was coming. “No, Faith, please. Just don’t, please.”

Faith looked at her stake one last time before, reluctantly tossing it through the air, down over the hill to disappear into the grass.

Buffy almost gasped in relief, her hands were trembling so she clasped them together. She watched Faith step closer to Angel, saw the vampire tense up.

“You missed.” Angel said dryly.

“Yeah, well, might as well try the talkin’ thing that Buffy loves so much.”

“Don’t bother. We don’t have anything to say to each other.”

“Buffy’s the reason you’re back ya know. She made some ditzy wish and you came back from hell.”

Angel turned to her, his face unreadable. “And now she’s with you.” His voice was rough with bitterness.

“Only ‘cause she can’t be with you. You know that, I know that and so does she.”

Angel shook his head in frustration. “And that makes it better how exactly.”

“Man, and you call me the idiot. Look at you, ever since I arrived in this burg Buffy been real broken up that you were gone. She wants you to live, man. She thinks you’re worth it.”

“Then she’s wrong.”Angel snarled.

“Why, cause some evil thing wants you to join its team. Who d’ya think is giving it to you straight?”

Angel’s face contorted in anguish. “It wants the killer in me, I can’t do that. I won’t. And I can’t fight it anymore.”

“Why, ‘cause you think you’re weak? Buffy sent you t’hell, dude.”

Angel jabbed a finger angrily at Faith. “And I should’ve stayed there. I’ve always been a weak man, that’s the truth the First showed me.”

Faith sighed in frustration and ran a hand over her face. “You don’t get it, do you? Buffy sent you to hell. Hundred years of hell and you came back...and you shoulda been crazy or psycho or somethin’. Hey, I thought you would be, but Buffy never did, she knew, just knew, that you’d be the same guy. Even Giles said it’d hav’ta be somebody pretty badass to survive somethin’ like that.”

Angel stayed silent, just shook his head.

“Well, not those exact words...but pretty much the same meanin’. Y’know you’re looking at this all wrong right? But I think I get it. This curse you got, it’s like when I got called. It gives us a choice, gives us the power to kick-ass, beat the bad guy, make a difference, however it works. But it’s tough too, I get that. Choice can be...like a burden, tryin’ t’do the right thing. And Buffy makes that so much easier, don’t she.”

“She does.” Angel said softly.

“She makes you forget about all the bad stuff in your life. Like there’s just you and her. Makes it clearer.”

Angel looked at Faith as if seeing her for the first time. “You love her.”

Faith shrugged. “’S not the point, the point is punching your own ticket is pussying out anyway you look at it. Nobody is gonna remember you doing this as being all brave. This is just giving up, being afraid of making choices. Even bad ones.” Faith looked at Angel, “You came back for a reason, so you could make choice. Between what you are and what you can be. You do this, no more choices. Ever.”

“I’m not a good man, Faith.” Angel said softly.

“Then, I dunno, try t’be.” Faiths smirked, “Or go out and save somebody who is a good guy. Apparently B thinks they exist, I’m not so...sure.”

It was snowing, soft, gentle flakes floating around them both, stark against dark clothing and hair. They both looked up, astonished as the sun failed to appear, the clouds stayed dark and the Sunnydale residents had their flurries of snow.

Buffy felt like crying, Faith had done it, she’d done the ‘talking thing’, being more heartfelt than Buffy knew she could be, and maybe somebody other than Buffy had been listening.

Angel smiled as he continued to look around, slightly dumbfounded. He looked searchingly at Faith. “Why did you...I mean, you didn’t have to help me.”

Faith snorted and lightly punched his arm. “Don’t mention it. Hey, you’re all noble and stuff; you probably woulda done the same for me, right?”

Faith held up her hands to catch snowflakes. “Man, enough of this cheesy hallmark stuff, ya wanna get a beer?”

Angel looked surprised. “I don’t know, Faith. Buffy could be...”

“B’s kicking ass, trust me, and I ain’t waiting around. Come on, we totally bonded. And I know a place that serves vamps and underage girls...”

And just like that Buffy was back in the cave, no snow, no lights of the town. Just her and the First.

The Calendar-thing folded her arms and sighed. “Well, that was disappointing.” She seemed mildly put out.

Buffy grunted as she pulled her leg free with a groan of pain, hesitantly standing and putting her weight tenderly on one foot to look the First right in the eye. “You lose. Again. Now get the hell out of my town.”

The First shrugged. “This, with Angel? It’s just a game, something to pass the time. What I saw there was far more interesting.”

Buffy glowered at her. “You leave Faith alone!”

The First smiled and Buffy felt a small shiver down her spine. “I’m all about balance, sweetie. And two slayers just...rankles me. But I think it’s all going to work itself out. After all, you did exactly what I wanted.”

Buffy frowned. “What are you talking about?”

The First didn’t answer directly. “It’s strange, don’t you think that the most powerful hate is born out of love. All that jealousy and passion. Not to mention betrayal. It all burns so fierce.”

Buffy shook her head. “Faith...that’s not her anymore, she wouldn’t betray me.”

The First nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting. You thought I was talking about her...Well; this has been good, catching up and all. But we’re done here.” The First turned away, walking over to the centre of the cave before adding, “Oh, and before I forget, I am looking forward to seeing what happens to you, how you’ll end up. Because, sweetie, it won’t be pretty. He has a hook in your soul now and soon he’s going to start tugging. Then the fun begins. Because the last time he got free, kingdoms fell, thousands died, including slayers. You won’t last long, not alone. And that’s the slayers lot, always...”

And like that it was gone, and Buffy was alone.

Buffy suddenly felt cold and hugged her arms to her sides, shaking her head she began looking around for a way out. But the First’s voice lingered in her head; it knew what had made that wish. A ‘He’. Not much to go on, and some other stuff, fairly apocalyptic sounding. Of course maybe it was lying, trying to scare Buffy as revenge for sucking at the whole manipulation thing. Both Angel and Faith were better than that, both finer people than either of them knew. But Buffy knew that, she had seen it in both of them, even after seeing them at their worst. And she was going to tell Faith what she thought of her, tell her what she’d seen just then on that hillside. Thank her for saving a good man from his own guilt.

When she got out of this stinking cave, that is.

“Buffy!” Oz’s voice echoed down from above.

Buffy stopped, moved to the centre of the cavern before calling upwards. “Oz! Oz! Um, I’m sort of trapped here!”

“Yeah... I’ve been calling down there forever, and nothing. But then I heard you moving. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I was out of it for a while...but I’m good. But, even with slayer legs, I can’t jump that high.”

“Hang on...” Suddenly a black cord descended and landed in a coiled heap near Buffy. “Climb on up.”

Buffy took hold of the rope, it felt like electrical cord. “Is this...if I tug on this hard is an amp gonna fall on my head?”

Oz’s voice sounded dryly amused. “Slapstick’s out of season, Buffy...Do you know it’s snowing up here? It’s...a little bizarre.”

Buffy wrapped the cord around her hands and began to haul herself towards the top of the cavern. “Yeah, well you’re not gonna believe what caused it...”