CHAPTER ONE

The quiet of the night was pierced with the howling of a werewolf miles away. Dense fog and mist crawled across the grass, whipping around each headstone in the gentle breeze. She ran fast and hard, boots hitting the ground loudly as she dodged trees and headstones, desperately trying to lose them. She was outnumbered, ten to one. She didn't look back and kept her eyes up ahead, looking for a quicker escape than trying to outrun them.

Her first mistake had been entering the cemetery alone and gravely unarmed with only a stake in her jacket pocket and a small knife sheathed inside her left boot. Her second mistake was thinking the two vampires she found lurking behind a cluster of tress were alone. Her third mistake was provoking them, teasing them, taunting them before she dusted the first one, her confidence soaring, the adrenaline pushing her to her limits.

That's when things went downhill. The second vampire had started running before she could grab him and she took off, her favorite stake gripped firmly in her right hand, the adrenaline fueling her pursuit of the badly dressed vampire who should've been dust the instant she spotted him and his buddy. She was led straight into the middle of a group of vampires hanging around a small mausoleum. They saw her before she could backtrack, before she could escape without putting herself and her life at risk.

She fought back, it was what she did, who she was. Even outnumbered, she dusted three of them before she was surrounded. Ten large vampires were practically frothing at the mouth as they realized who she was, what she was. A slayer. The Chosen One.

The twelve foot high wall that surrounded the vast cemetery came into view just as the clouds broke open and allowed the full moon to shine down, illuminating a clearer path to the only way to escape the vampires chasing after her.

"Get her!"

"You won't get away, slayer!"

"She's mine!"

Her lungs were burning as she pushed herself to run harder, faster. She leapt and grabbed on to the top of the wall, her fingers slipping as she tried to pull herself up. Her boots slipped against the wet bricks as she tried to climb. Fear flooded through her when she felt a strong hand grip onto her ankle and pull her down. Landing on the ground in a heap, she scrambled to back away from the vampires quickly closing in on her.

"She killed Tarek," the one closest to her said as they cornered her against the wall. "She deserves to die a very slow, very painful death."

Gasping as she crawled backwards towards the wall, she stopped as her back hit the rough, wet bricks. Her stake was on the ground, too far to make a leap for it through the vampires that had her cornered like a scared little animal. Her knife, still sheathed inside her left boot was accessible, but she knew she wouldn't be able to move fast enough before one of the vampires grabbed her. With her breath catching in her throat, she slowly rose to her feet, her hands grasping at the wet, rough bricks behind her. Despite being cornered and fear flooding through her veins, dueling against the adrenaline rushing through her, she knew this wasn't it, that his wasn't the end. This wasn't how she was going to go out. Not at the hand of ten vampires twice the size of her, ganging on her, cornering her. No, she'd make it out of there alive and each and every one of them would be nothing more than dust in the wind.

"So," she said as a grin slipped across her lips as she stared at the vampires surrounding her. She didn't move as they looked at each other, some growling lowly. "Who is Tarek anyway? Was he the tall lanky one or the one who couldn't dress himself for this century?"

"Tarek is—was our master," the one closest to her said, snarling as he leaned in close to her, so close she could smell the blood and the stale cigarettes on his breath. "He made each and every one of us and now you are going to die."

"Do you know how many times I've heard lines similar to that? You are going to die, you're dead, I'm going to drink you dry and pick my teeth with your—"

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

She gasped, the smirk never faltering as she tried to breathe even though the vampire had his meaty hands wrapped tightly around her neck. "I don't know," she gasped out as she gripped at his hands, trying desperately to get herself free. "Who do you think I am?"

She tightened her grip on the vampire's wrists and twisted her way out of the iron-clad hold he had her in. The sickening sound of each wrist snapping as she broke his bones reverberated throughout the heavy silence. Taking the stunned vampire by surprise, she grabbed a hold of his gnarly face and snapped his neck, pushing him away as he limply fell to the ground.

"One down, nine to go," she chuckled as she took a step forward and several vampire's stepped back. "So, which one of your boys are next, huh?"

"Bloody hell. It's her."

"Who?"

"Buffy Summers."

"Buffy Summers is dead, you morons."

She chuckled as she casually ran her fingers through her long blonde hair before placing her hands confidently on her hips. "Do I look dead to you?" She asked as she cocked her head to the side. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

Willow Rosenberg paced in front of her desk with a cup of tea in one hand, the other scrolling through the text messages on her phone. Of all the leads they'd had over the last five years, the last one had seemed to be the only promising one even though it was over a day old and there was no telling what had changed in the last twenty-four hours.

"Yes?" Willow said as a knock sounded on the open door of her office. "What can I do for you, Nadia?"

"We've received confirmation."

"Is it her?"

"Yes," Nadia replied and she handed Willow an envelope. "This was faxed about a half an hour ago. Visual confirmation, just as you requested."

"Thank you, Nadia."

The young slayer smiled before turning on her heels and exited out of Willow's office without another word. Willow waited until her office door was shut before she opened the envelope and pulled out the pictures.

For the last five years, ever since they all left Sunnydale, she'd been searching for Buffy. Not one word had been heard from Buffy since nearly a week after they started the long drive across the country to Cleveland. She'd left in the middle of the night. She never said goodbye, not even to Dawn. No note, no reason or explanation. She was just gone. Every new lead led them somewhere different and every time someone would get there, she'd disappear again.

Willow looked at the dozen pictures that Nadia had brought to her. Each one clearly showed Buffy walking down a street in what she knew was London, England. In the pictures, Buffy looked happy and healthy, some even showed her smiling as she passed people in the street. The last few showed her at night, inside an old cemetery, walking inside alone. The last picture was blurry, the darkness of the night didn't help, but she could just faintly see that Buffy was surrounded by vampires, cornered.

Dropping the pictures onto her cluttered desk, she grabbed the phone and quickly dialed a familiar number. Her hands were shaking as the line continued to ring, and ring, with no voice mail picking up. Just as Willow was about to hang up, she heard the soft click as the call was picked up on the other line.

"She's fine. She's not, you know, dead or anything."

Willow sighed in relief. "Is she still—"

"In London? Far as I know she still is. I've got a few girls tailing her right now."

"Faith?" Willow asked after a few minutes of heavy silence over the line. "When were those pictures taken, exactly?"

"Late last night. Helped her out of a jam too. Pretty sure she never saw me," Faith replied and from the sound of her voice, she was beyond exhausted. "You know what I've been hearing, Will? People think that she's dead."

"People?"

"Vamps mostly. Heard one of them say it last night to her. Set something off inside her too. Never seen her fight like that."

"Like how?"

Faith chuckled and it was all the answer that Willow needed to hear. "It was a trip, for sure."

"Keep me up to date?" Willow asked and she couldn't help but smile when she heard Faith chuckle again.

"You know I will," Faith replied. "I'm gonna go. Been out all night and I'm beat."

"Goodbye," Willow said softly. "And thank you for doing this, Faith."

"It's no big. Figured if anyone is gonna get close enough to her, it's gonna have to be me. I'll be in touch, Will."

Willow smiled sadly as she placed the phone back down on the receiver. The quietness of her office was usually something she welcomed, but not today. She needed something, anything to drown out the thoughts that thundered through her mind.

Faith going after the latest lead they had on Buffy hadn't been the original plan. They had slayers, well trained slayers, stationed all over the world. The squad in London was run exclusively by Andrew Wells and Rona as the lead slayer there. Yet, when word came in early the day before that the squad had spotted Buffy slaying a handful of vampires, Faith packed a bag and was on the next flight to London. Like Willow, Faith hadn't given up on trying to find Buffy over the last couple of years, not like the others had. Willow was confident that if anyone could find her and get some answers out of her, it'd be Faith.

Five years had changed a lot of things. The battle on the Sunnydale Hellmouth had changed the course of the rest of their lives and the spell that Willow cast on the scythe had made thousands of young girls slayers far before their time. It took them six months to get their bearings once they arrived in Cleveland, it being harder to adjust to a new place since each and every one of them were still distressed by Buffy's sudden and unexplained disappearance. As time went on, Willow never gave up on trying to find her. The others, however, stopped caring, stopped looking for her, stopped holding on to hope with every new lead that came in that they'd finally find her and bring her home. All Willow wanted was answers. It was why she still hadn't given up.

Dawn didn't care, but Willow knew she did, deep down. She never asked about Buffy, never talked about her, and if Buffy was ever mentioned, she left the room. Xander was the same, but he stayed when Dawn walked away. Giles never expressed any thoughts or feelings when it came to Buffy, always busying himself with paperwork, research, and schedules, never asking if she'd been spotted or if she'd made contact. Kennedy was indifferent, mostly because she supported Willow and the decisions she made when it came to Buffy, but she never talked about her either, and only listened when Willow did.

This time would be different. It had to be. This time she'd finally get the answers she'd been looking for since the night that Buffy left.

"She didn't suspect anything unusual, did she?"

Faith sighed as she laid back on the soft bed and put her hands behind her head. "No, she didn't suspect a damn thing."

"Good. Now, where were we?"

Faith couldn't help but grin as her lover ran her soft hands over her bare stomach, eagerly looking forward to getting back to what they'd been doing before her phone started to ring. Soft lips met hers in an intense kiss, the kind that sent waves of pleasure flooding through her body. Faith moved her hands to her lover's shoulders and smoothed them down the length of her back.

She hated lying, hated sneaking around, hated keeping secrets from the people who had taken her in after Sunnydale and learned to trust her all over again. But this, this was worth it, those stolen moments that didn't come around too often. She was worth it, worth keeping secrets for, worth lying to her friends for, worth pretending to be looking for her when she was really just cooped up in a motel room with the woman she'd hopelessly fallen in love with years ago.

Faith kissed her harder, deeper, pulling her flush against her body before rolling around on the bed and ending up on top, just where she loved to be most. Her hands touched places that elicited soft, breathy moans and she loved the sound of her name as it fluttered past her lover's lips, whispering across her own.

Faith slipped a hand between her lover's legs as she pulled back from her lips, watching as the pleasure showed on her face as Faith slipped two fingers deftly inside her warm, wet cunt. Her lips trailed down her lover's neck, teeth nipping at soft, warm flesh. Each thrust of her fingers elicited a breathy moan, a gasp, a pleasurable sigh. It'd been far too long since they'd been together and after today, it'd likely be months before they found each other again.

It was just the way it was. The way it had to be. Because that was what she wanted.

Her lover gasped as Faith's teeth scraped against a hard nipple, her back arching as she sought out more. Faith languidly licked and sucked her nipple, fucking her slowly with her fingers, drawing out every ounce of pleasure that she could, making it last for as long as she could, making this just another fleeting memory they could share secretly between them for however long it would last.

Sunlight suddenly flooded through the partially drawn drapes, flooding the darkness of the room. The smell of fresh rain filled the air, rain and sex and stale cigarette smoke. For now, this room, this place, was their sanctuary and the only thing that existed inside of it was each other.

"Faith," she moaned as Faith trailed her tongue down the length of her toned stomach, stopping briefly to kiss along the faded scars that marred her otherwise perfect skin.

Continuing her gradual descent down her lover's body, she settled between thin, yet strong legs as she slipped her fingers from out of the warm, wet confines of her lover's pussy. The whimper that escaped past parted lips only fueled Faith on, and she purposely, leisurely took her time in worshipping the woman she never meant to fall in love with. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the musky scent of her lover's arousal before dipping out her tongue for a teasing taste.

Soft, breathy moans filled the quietness of the room as she licked over her lover's pussy, teasing her, pleasuring her in every way her lover needed and wanted. Yet, she held back, not wanting to send her tumbling over the edge just yet. With lust filled eyes, Faith watched as her lover closed her eyes tight and gripped onto the sheets that somehow, miraculously, stayed on the bed.

"Please."

"Please, what?" Faith asked as she pulled back slightly and licked over her lips.

"Don't tease me anymore, Faith."

"You love it."

A coy smile curled across her lips as she leaned up on her elbows to look down at Faith. "I do," she smiled and she reached out to stroke Faith's hair gently. "And I love you."

Faith pulled back a little more, just out of reach. Three little words she'd never heard before had thrown her completely off balance, caught her off guard. She sat back and ran her fingers through her hair, at loss for words completely.

"Faith?"

"What?"

"I—"

"What do you want me to say, Buffy? You want me to say that I love you too? How can I say those words when you want to stay gone, B?" Faith asked, daring to utter her name when she'd promised before she never would.

"Buffy Summers is dead."

"No, she's not, she's just pretending to be," Faith said harshly as she slipped off the bed and walked over to the small window, slamming it shut. "What the hell are you running from, B?"

Buffy shook her head as tears brimmed in her eyes. "Get out," she said lowly, a dangerous tone to her voice as she grabbed Faith's clothes off the floor and threw them at her. "Get out!"

"I'm going to tell them," Faith said as she pulled her shirt over her head and smoothed it down her body. "I'm done lying for you, B."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Then tell me what the fuck it is that you're running from, Buffy! All these years and you never once told me what made you leave like that in the middle of the night. You left the people who loved you, cared about you, people that were family to you. You owed it to them to at least have left a note, an explanation. You should've said goodbye to Dawn and you didn't and you know why? Because you're a selfish fucking bitch—"

The slap across the face resonated through her entire body. Her cheek stung and burned hot where Buffy's hand connected. Her own tears filled her eyes as she staggered backwards, raising a hand to her swollen cheek.

"If you love me like you say you do, you won't let me leave without telling me why," Faith said softly, her hands shaking as she tried to pull on her jeans with ease.

"Me," Buffy uttered quietly, her eyes trailing down to stare blankly at the floor. "I was running from me, who I used to be, and I was so afraid of who I was going to become."

"And now?"

Buffy shook her head as tears began to fall. "I can't go there, I can't face them," she whispered. "All the things I've done I…all the time that's passed…what you and I have together, the secrets I've made you keep…I don't know if they'll—"

"What?" Faith asked gently, stepping closer to Buffy, the throbbing, burning pain in her cheek suddenly forgotten, gone. "What is it, B?"

"What if they will never forgive me? What if they don't want me to come back?"

"Are you kidding me? Willow is still looking for you. Every single damn day that passes, she's always looking for you. They know you're not dead, Buffy, they know you just want to disappear for good, never to be found. I told you before, there is always someone watching, always someone reporting back to her about where you've been, where you are, where you end up next. Do you know why I came this time?"

Buffy shook her head no and let out a startled gasp as Faith kissed her hard. Buffy's hands were instantly grasping at clothes that Faith was wishing she hadn't put back on. They kissed desperately, hard and deep, falling back into an ever too familiar pattern. Faith pulled back from her lover's lips and cupped her face gently with both hands.

"Because it has to stop," Faith whispered. "You need to stop running, stop hiding, stop making yourself disappear. I want to be with you and I can't, not like this. I can't go another couple of months without seeing you and not knowing where you are. I worry about you, you know that? If I wasn't there last night, you would've been killed, B."

"I can't. Not yet."

"Then I can't keep waiting for you," Faith said and she swore she could feel her heart breaking as the words came out far too easily. "I love you, I do, but I can't do this anymore."

"Faith—"

"I'm gonna be in London for another day or two, three at most. I won't tell them anything. One last lie for the road, huh? You want to stay gone? I'll help you, one last time."

"On what condition?"

"That you stay gone for good this time. It's what you want, isn't it?"

Faith turned her back as tears fell from her eyes. She hated crying and she didn't want Buffy to see the pain she was feeling even though it was clearly obvious. She walked to the door and pulled on her boots, not daring to look back as she opened the door and slipped out into the narrow, dimly lit hallway.

Wiping at her eyes, she took a deep breath and headed for the stairs, ignoring the old woman who lived across the hall of the latest place that Buffy was only just briefly calling home. This had been her last ditch effort in bringing Buffy back to Cleveland with her, to put an end to her disappearing act once and for all. She couldn't handle it anymore and hearing Buffy say those three words had broke the restraint she normally had whenever she did see Buffy. But, she'd had enough. Enough of the lies, the secrets, and it finally broke her down completely even if it all had been completely worth it.

"No, I couldn't find her," Faith said as she paced in the small hotel room, glancing out the window every couple of minutes.

"What do you mean you couldn't find her? You just saw her two nights ago!"

"I know, Will, but she's just…gone. I looked everywhere for her last night," she said and she hated the bitter taste that lie left in her mouth.

"Are you—"

"Tomorrow morning, flight leaves at ten after eight in the morning. I should be back in Cleveland by tomorrow afternoon."

"Do you want me to, you know, work a little magic and bring you home sooner?"

Laughing sharply, Faith shook her head and switched her phone to her other ear. "Nah, you know how much I hate teleporting. Something tells me it's worse being teleported across an ocean than it is across the campus. Besides," Faith said and she sighed as the rain continued to pour outside, "I was thinking of doing a little sightseeing before I come home."

The truth was, she was waiting for Buffy, waiting to see if Buffy would come to her, if she would somehow, miraculously change her mind about everything. She knew it was stupid of her to hold onto that hope that maybe it'd be different this time, that maybe Buffy finally would come home with her, but she couldn't help it. She was in love with her and that was something that would never go away no matter how much time had passed since she'd seen her last.

"Call me when you land okay?"

"You know I will," Faith said easily. "I'll see you tomorrow, Will."

"If you change your mind about—"

"I'll call you. Don't hold your breath."

Faith hung up and slipped her cell phone into the back pocket of her jeans. It had been raining non-stop since shortly after she left the flat Buffy was staying in and there was no sign of it ever letting up. The dreary, gloomy day was fitting for her mood, accompanying the heavy feeling of her broken heart perfectly.

She reached for her pack of cigarettes she'd left on the windowsill and cursed under her breath when she found it completely empty. The overflowing ashtray reminded her that she'd spent the better part of the morning standing at the window, chain-smoking until she felt lightheaded and sick from smoking too much. She grabbed her room key and her wallet and stormed towards the door, muttering under her breath about having to walk down to the store in the pouring rain.

With her head hung low, she walked out of her room and headed down the short hallway to the elevators. She hit the button, jabbed it hard to be more specific, and waited. She only lifted her head when the elevator dinged and the doors slid open slowly. She stepped inside, briefly acknowledging the smart dressed man standing on the other side and she hit the lobby button, her eyes trailing back down to the floor.

She felt completely, utterly lost, a feeling she hadn't felt in a very long time. She had never felt so heartbroken before, she'd never even been in love before so it was a whole new experience feeling the way she was. How did other people do it? How did they get over the pain and the loss? How did other people move on and seemingly forget losing the one they were in love with? Her head had been filled with too many thoughts, too many memories that were all about Buffy over the last five years. She couldn't shake her from her mind no matter what she'd tried and not even the bottle of whisky she'd drank early that morning did a thing to dull the throbbing pain.

Faith felt like she was stuck on some kind of autopilot as she walked through the hotel lobby and to the front doors. She barely lifted her head and muttered a polite thank you to the doorman as he opened the door for her. The rain was cold and she pulled up the hood of her hoodie over her head and walked quickly down the busy street. She bumped into a few people, not even uttering a word as they apologized despite it not being their fault. She kept walking until she was in front of the corner store and she rushed inside, leaving a trail of rain drops on the floor as she walked over to the register and pulled her hood down.

Then she felt it, she felt it as the clerk grabbed a few packs of Lucky's for her after she asked for them. That buzz she always felt whenever Buffy was near her, the one she denied when Willow asked she ever felt in the first place because she was doing everything she could to keep Buffy's secret for her.

Nodding at the clerk as she handed him the money, she grabbed the bag from him and turned around to leave. The walk back to the hotel made it feel like she had just walked a hundred thousand miles through the rain when it was only just a block. She was soaked through, tired, cold, heartbroken, lost and alone.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, there is no one registered under that name," the woman behind the front desk said to the agitated woman in a black trench coat as Faith walked past on her way to the elevators. "There is no Faith Lehane staying at the hotel at this time."

Faith stopped and turned, looking a little more closely at the woman in the black trench coat. Her mouth went dry as she gripped on to the plastic bag a little tighter.

"You have to be mistaken. She told me she was staying here."

"I'm afraid not, ma'am."

"Buffy?" Faith asked, her voice cracking as she said her name. "B?"

Buffy turned and looked at her, a smile curling over her lips as she walked away from the front desk and straight into Faith's waiting arms. Her body shook as Faith held on to her tightly and even though her clothes were soaked right through, her skin already wet, she could feel the hot tears spilling from Buffy's eyes as she buried her face into Faith's shoulder.

"Don't go," Buffy whispered into her shoulder. "Please. I don't want to lose you."

"Buffy—"

"I—I'll go back to Cleveland with you, just don't let this be over. I'm not ready for this to be over," she cried and Faith fought back her own tears as she held on to Buffy tight. "Please…"