Concentration, mild annoyance and stiffness. That's what's up with me right now. Squaring my shoulders, with my arms at my side I continue to look ahead.

"I can't believe you're doing this." A soft voice whispers to me from my left.

"Shut up."

"This is huge. Where's my cell? I have to capture this moment and upload it to the net."

"Shut up."

"Do you get to keep the outfit? Coz I know you'll need a costume with Halloween coming up n'all."

"Shut up."

"C'mon Faith, with the robes and the whole nine. You look…" There's a brief pause and I wait for the jibe, the ridicule, the disrespectful diatribe. "You look, just…"

Lifting my focus from my reflection in the full length mirror ahead of me I witness the genuine speechlessness of the blonde woman leaning against its solid oakwood frame. No malice, no judgement, no abuse, just a pair of wide eyes on the verge of breaking the dam concealed.

"Thanks, B."

At that Buffy nods with the hint of a micro expression. "I should get going. Leave you to finish up getting ready."

"What, you're done making fun of me? That shit didn't last."

Raising her voice to a normal conversational level, she stands straighter shifting her weight from my bedroom furniture, "Hey now, Little Miss Potty Mouth. Graduates don't use such vulgar language. Clean that shit up before you meet the dean."

"Pot and kettle, Sweet-pea."

"I never graduated college. High school yes, but college no. I'm not at your level of sophistication."

“It's just a piece of paper. No big."

"Today its a piece of paper, but for the last seven years and for the rest of your life; its tacit knowledge."

I smirk turning to face her fully noticing a familiar glinting expression in Buffy's green eyes, "Did your brain just get an intellectual boner?"

My colleague continues on regardless of the poorly hidden expression pulling at the corners of her eyes. "Its intangible information and experience that shapes who you are and what you give to the world. A Ph.D in Social Psychology and a Masters in Criminology isn't something to be sniffed at."

There's something to say for my sketchy past, it sure helps when writing a dissertation. You get intimate knowledge of how the justice system works when you're shoved into its depths head first through waist deep.

Thinking about how much I owe Buffy for her support along the way, I stand amazed that I'm finally done. Between teaching the young slayers at the school, going to classes, hitting the books and slaying, we've both put in a lot of man hours.

"You're right, B. Thanks for helping me out by allowing me to borrow your old books, proof reading my assignments and acting as my sounding board. I especially liked the S.A.S (study avoidance sessions)." Usually this would be her way to get me to stop over-thinking my projects or whatever paper I was stuck on. It often involved a movie or a bar. "Looks like you deserve pieces of paper too."

"I already know what I need to know." Pulling me into an embrace, I casually wrap my arms around the formally dressed Californian. The fact that she's obviously made an effort hasn't gone unnoticed. New brown ankle boots, fawn pleated skirt, cream wraparound silk blouse and with the hair and makeup combo, it all really makes her look beautiful. "I'm happy you did it, Mom would be so proud of you. She always said you were a bright girl."

We cling to each other for a moment longer than necessary as we both share silent memories of Mrs S. She was the one person who had my back, even though I didn't deserve it. She's the type of woman I wanted my own mother to be like. Caring, attentive and a lioness when it came to protecting her cubs.

Buffy slowly leans back, but remains in my arms as she gently cups my cheek in her right hand. Keeping strong eye contact gaining my full attention her thumb brushes over my skin, "I'm proud of you, Faith. I need you to know that."

"I couldn't have done this without you, B."

"You could."

"Bull."

The blonde smiles with disbelief. "I know you could. For someone whose recently got letters after her name you sure don't act as confident as you appear to be."

"Only with you."

Her lips lace into a half smile, "I know."

"Everyone has insecurities, B. I'm just better at hiding mine. Most of them anyway." I reply all bravado and smiles.

Buffy sighs when she moves her hand from my cheek to my shoulder. Something's telling me she wants to comment on what I said, but won't let it leave her lips.

"Knock knock, chariot service for one Ms Faith Lehane!" Xander calls from the opposite side of my bedroom door. "Are you ready to go?"

Letting go, I step away from the petite woman to open my door to a suited and booted young man. "Check out the threads. Looks like GQ threw up all over you, Xand."

"Ditto, this months centrefold for Graduate Weekly. The article on graduation attire was good, but you know me. I only buy it for the pictures." He laughs flicking invisible lint from my sleeve. "Navy silk with caramel trim? Very in this season."

He notices the other person in the room with us and gets a confused look on his face. "What's up, Buff? Didn't think you'd be here."

Quickly she nods toward me with a mischievous expression, seemingly wiping away the other sigh-inducing  emotion she was feeling not three seconds ago, "I wouldn't miss this. Wanted to catch Faith actually putting on the gown."

I guess her coming here early wasn't part of their Scooby plan.

"Are Dawn and the others ready to go?" Buffy asks lifting my cap from the dresser, straightening out with its tassel.

"Ready and waiting. Willow said she'd drive." The charcoal three piece suit wearing male adjust his eye patch, "And before you mention it, Faith. Today is about you. You never let us make a fuss, so today we're all cashing in."

"And again I say, I can drive myself and passengers to the ceremony. It's not like I'm getting married or anything."

"I will hear none of it."

"But c'mon, you know I don't need all this drama."

"Hey, the only butt I want to see is yours in the passenger seat of my car."

"Wait, we're not even going to take my car?" My voice raises an octave in disbelief.

"And this is why we wait for special occasions to wrestle you into submission. You just won't accept that we want to make a fuss of you. It's like you refuse to let us... Did this stem from your childhood?" Buffy smiles as she hands me the cap.

She knows some of my issues. During my self-imposed study we learned a lot about each other, some might even stretch to say too much. However, with subject matter involving social psychology and criminology it would be stupid to not examine myself and those in close proximity. For educational reasons, of course.

It was a regular thing to profile Buffy and the others. I usually studied Buffy the most seeing what made her tick. It was just to annoy her at first, but then I noticed increasing subtleties which intrigued me far to often to want to stop.

Did you know she blushes when she's embarrassed? Kinda obvious, but she also does it when she's fantasising about sex. Well, especially when I catch her thinking about suff like that.

I like how she handles objects subconsciously. It's not lewd or inappropriate, but it's like she knows what she wants from whoever or whatever is starring in her little daydream.

I called her on it and after months of avoiding the observation she relented partly which gave me all the corroborating evidence I needed. After that I got a 98% pass mark for my paper on Desires, Dreams and Daily Interactions.

"Fine, but I get to pick the jams." Conceding, we leave my room.

Following Xander downstairs I'm welcomed by paparazzi. Everyone has whipped out their cameras and cell phones and are making with the soul zapping.

"You look so fetching, Faith." Willow beams at me.

"Real fetching. Say, if I throw this camera would you catch it in your teeth?" Kennedy laughs out loud when I flare my nostrils.

"You look amazing. Even better than Princess Leia in the bikini." Andrew gushes. "Or Phoebe Halliwell at the coronation of Balthazar, as the source of all evil."

Xander takes his place with the others whipping out his camera too, "She's way prettier than that. We're talking red carpet glamour."

"Yeah, yeah. Get it out of your systems. I'm taking this off as soon as I graduate."

"Aww, but you look so cute in that." Dawn smiles before lowering her cell to give me a hug.

"I look cute with demon guts dripping off me, but I don't see you taking snaps of that shit."

Buffy slaps my shoulder scolding me for my use of bad language.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?"

"That seems to be everyone's top question today, huh?" She replies to Dawn as Giles enters from the hallway to my kitchen.

"Buffy? I thought we were to meet at the convention center?"

"We are, Giles. Just pretend you haven't seen me yet." The blonde turns to me with a faint blush colouring her cheeks. "And now I better go. I'll see you in a few."

"Sure thing, B." We hug, "You look great by the way."

"Just trying to keep up with you." With that she turns to Dawn, "Did you want to ride with me?"

"Nah, you go. I'll be ok with Willow." Her sister responds, "But can I grab a ride back with you? I've got tones of bits for the party later."

"What party later?" I ask. The disagreeable tone evident in every syllable.

"It's not a party. More like a get together." Giles offers as he pulls his hunter coat to close.

"I said a quiet dinner, people. Not a party."

"It's not a party, a moderate get together, a shindig maybe. Possibly a hootenanny." Kennedy adds.

"Is that even the right order? I thought it was more like shindigs, parties, moderate get togethers then hootenannies?" Xander tries to figure it out.

"Get together, party, shindig, hootenanny." Willow clarifies with a sure nod.

"Ohh a wonderful soirée." Andrew's voice filters through the din.

Off the look of annoyance on my face Buffy pulls my attention from the others by taking my hand in hers and speaking softly, "Hey, flashback to the conversation we've very recently had in your room? We're glad you worked so hard to do great in your studies... hence the Make a Fuss of Faith Day. Get into the spirit of the season."

"Buffy..."

"Tell me about your childhood...?" she mocks and I relent.

"Fine. A few beers, some music and food. Don't go overboard. I mean it."


+++


The melodic sounds coming from the car radio is interrupted when my chauffeur taps repeatedly on the wheel.

"It's been forty days, Faith."

"You can count. That's good."

"That's all you have to say on the subject? Complementing my numeracy?"

"There's nothing to say, Xand."

"Faith, we've been friends for a while. We've not been close friends for very long in comparison, but there is something you should know about me."

"What's that?"

"I've never kept a secret this long."

"It's not a secret, I'd just prefer it if you not tell anyone what you overheard." Off his pained look I add with a smirk, "Your good eye would prefer it if you not tell anyone."

"But this is huge."

"Shut up."

"You and..."

"Shut up."

"This is a situation, Faith."

"Shut up."

"A massive situation that I might let slip, only and completely by accident you understand?!"

"Grow a pair already. It's not that big of a deal."

"And you say you don't want drama?"

Changing the subject completely I look at my driver, "Did you know it's my anniversary today?"

Xander smiles, "I thought you weren't married?"

"All those years ago; down to the day. I was called."

"You're telling me it's your slayer birthday? That's cool and weird in a rite of passage, reflections in life kinda way."

"I've been a slayer for ten years. I can't explain it, but it feels like the last ten months or so I've been officially open. Open to new adventures, new people."

Noticing my heavy-handed shift in conversation Xander glances over, "You're really not going to talk about it are you?"

I confidently play with the radio. "It won't change anything."

"Do you want it to change something?"

"You can't psyche the master, Xand."

"I thought you got a Ph.D in psyche and masters in criminals?" Xander continues to drive navigating through the city to the convention center. Soon we arrive and he puts the vehicle in park. "Ready to get a rolled up sheet of printer paper with a ribbon around it masquerading as your awards?"

"Masquerading?"

"Yeah, they mail you the official certificates." He explains.

I sit there for a moment before deciding to throw him a bone. "B kissed me... We were discussing what happens when individuals are placed in awkward situations. Y'know, how their behaviour changes."

"Yeah, I remember you dropping into conversation our one night together."

"And you helped prove the theory. However, B wanted me to experience it myself. So I told the little nymph, I don't get embarrassed like that. It's not in my nature to be in awkward situations."

"I'm guessing she wouldn't take that for an answer?"

"Tried everything to get me to fucking crack. Told awkward stories, even played hide the stake a couple of times. It wasn't until she grabbed me and full on kissed me that I blinked. I mean, out of the blue passion... In Giles' place... with him having just disappeared into the study waiting for us to follow him through to go over the Dubai mission plans."

"I remember that meeting. Dawn and I bumped into you two as we came through the door." He recalls with realisation blossoming across his face, "Buffy made a joke saying you were moody and fidgety coz you were on your cycle." He starts chuckling again, this time a little harder. "You were acting out of character all night. I guess that's why I followed you on patrol. To check in... and overhear you yelling at some vampire that you had Buffy's lips on your lips."

"She laid it on thick after the initial act, threw me off my cool. Hands squeezing on my thigh under the conference table while Dawn was being all sweet and telling me innocently about her day at work."

Xander took off his seat belt now rolling around with laughter. "Awkward Faith. Who would've thunk it, eh?"

I went back to basics and life resumed the usual patterns after that night. Buffy had proved her point and the world moved on.

"Seeing how we're close friends, I'll conclude with the college answer." That grabs his attention, visibly willing the laughter to subside. "My underlying feelings for Buffy were under control hidden from view with no avenue or will to surface. Safe. I know I flirt with her and mostly everyone, but that's me putting it out there. Controlled. But when B took matters into her own hands, through a will of her own to merely prove an analytical theory, she pushed a button in me wether she meant to or not. Now I can't shut it off."

"Oh."

"And the worst part is, I see it in her eyes too."

"Ooohhh."

Stepping out of the car I notice everyone has arrived ahead of us, congregating by the main entrance. My inner compass points me in the direction of Buffy who's there kissing a tall chiselled character. Greyson. Buffy's boyfriend.

"So to answer your million dollar question, Xand. Yeah, I want something to change."

"Drama."


+++


The nerves are good. Like a low hum that tells me I'm still switched on and connected to the mains. Sitting here with my class I pitch a glance over to the balcony seats and see Buffy taking in the auditorium. She's so excited to see the orchestra, the faculty, the graduates and their families all happy.

She spots me and waves so I wave back.

"Who's up there? Your family?" Geoff, our valedictorian asks.

"Yeah, just waving at B."

"B, as in Buffy?"

"Yeah. I think she mentioned owning you at pool." I tease.

He pauses before grinning, “Sure, I remember. She's quite the pool player.” They had engaged in a game or two at a bar three weeks ago. “Of course she had to get you to teach her how to line up a shot a few times.”

“B isn't an avid player. I guess she just needed a few pointers to get her going.” I notice a few programmes on the floor so pick them up and place them on the vacant seat behind me. When I turn back Geoff's chuckling. “What?”

“She was pretty good for a noob or an expert hustler. Won all our games anyhow.”

“That's because we were drunk.” I smile.

“Speak for yourself... Ok yeah, I was plastered. We sang a little karaoke and did a few too many shots.” He can barely contain his laughter. His latte skin blushes a rose hue, “I still don't know how you carried me out to the taxi. I must've been deadweight.”

Masking the truth from my friend, yet again, I smile, “I couldn't leave you to prop up the bar like some crazy drunk. I had your back. We both did.” Buffy helped me take Geoff back to his place after hanging out. Making sure he was safety in his apartment before we left him.

Even though I'm a people person, my inner Giles reminds me not to divulge my slayer secret. Well, that and the fact I don't really talk about myself in detail to anyone. They know all they need to know.

"She still with that guy with the square head?"

I chuckle, "Yeah. He's here too somewhere." I've always thought Greyson's head was too blocky. Its like someone jammed him into a microwave and crammed his head with sand. "Did you think you stood a chance with her?"

"Not with you around." Geoff answers casually as our professor signals to him. "I gotta see what she wants. Probably soundcheck for the address or something. Later, Faith."

"Yeah sure." Slumping in my chair I rest an arm around the now vacant seat. "Drop a bomb like that and just head off why don't you."

My thoughts filter to Greyson. How he seems to be the topic on everyone's lips recently. He's a nice enough guy, I guess, but sometimes he irritates me. Not in an Andrew way, but a latest demon of the week way.

"Who killed your dog?"

"Huh?"

Samantha sits in Geoff's seat so I straighten up in my chair but keep my arm where it is. I'm comfortable. Not going to readjust completely for anyone.

"I said, who killed your dog?" I open my mouth to answer, but before I could form a thought to answer with, Sam rests her hand on my thigh. "And before you say anything it's not the sad someone killed my dog face your pulling. It's the heat seeking missile revenge for who killed your dog face I'm seeing."

"Did anyone tell you not to use your powers for evil?"

"Not evil. Just a little personal gain. You know this about me." She smiles good natured before an expression of mild concern steals her face, "Don't tell me your displacing again?"

Ignoring both questions, especially her latter, I laugh. "Just hanging out, counting down the seconds until I get to rip this robe off."

"Faith..."

"Sam... When have you known me to wear anything like this?"

"You look great in everything you wear."

"Sure, but a robe that hides all my goodies?"

Weighing up my answer the sun-kissed blonde continues with a smile, "I don't know, you look cute in yours." Her blue eyes sparkling as she gives me the once over.

"Cute? Really?"

"I would say hot, but your girlfriend's giving me the evil eye."

"I don't have a girlfriend." At that moment my cell bleeps alerting me to a text message.

- You all look very uniformed down there, all matching caps and gowns and stuff. Wish Geoff good luck for me. B -

I open my mouth to respond to Samantha before another text pops up.

- Tell Sam to keep her hands to herself. -

"B says hi."

"Of course she does." Moving her hand away from my thigh she laughs. "She knows we already slept together first semester, right?"

"Sure." I reply easily.

"And she does know you're allowed to date whoever you want, whenever you want?"

"Yes, Sam." I respond with a placating smile.

"It just seems like she's holding you back. Or holds a part of you anyhow." Samantha's textbook tone isn't lost on me.

"No more analysis. We've passed. Even getting the phoney papers today to prove it. Anyway, it's not like we want a relationship. You and me." I comment, "It was a great night."

"And a great morning."

"Can't call it morning if we didn't sleep to cause a break in play." I smirk knowing how well I performed. Consciously not looking back over to the balcony I keep my vocal rhythm casual, "Do you want something to happen between us?"

"The occasional hookup, if you can handle it.” She smiles knowingly, “But seriously, I'm more than happy to stay as we are. The one time seven hour lovers who've turned into friends with simmering attraction on the side."

Geoff returns with a little more nerves than he left with. "Up, up, up. You're in my seat, Samantha." She gets up and gathers her gown before sitting on my lap.

She chuckles when I shake my head at her hijinks. "I also love to screw with her head. She helped me get 84% on my paper about territorial behaviours."

"She'll not take kindly to you using me as a chair."

"I'm sure she sits on her friends' laps all the time. Totally innocent."

"Buffy, is this?" Geoff asks casually.

"Who else." Samantha smirks, "Enough about her. What are you gonna say when you get up on stage?"

"Something about social psychology being equal to having valour and determination in everyday situations. There's a section on being social the old fashioned way, y'know without technology. The true power of personal interactions. I've got a peppering of jokes at Faith's expense and then a quote from Socrates."

"Sounds good, Brains."

"Why jokes at my expense?"

"You're like Van Wilder." He observes.

"Minus the huge entourage, living on campus in a Hugh Hefner style bathrobe or continuously repeating the course without graduating." The blonde elaborates.

"But you can acquire anything for anyone and you throw the best parties. Plus..." The designer stubbled male pulls out his notes typed up on pocket sized cue cards. "You're easy on the eyes."

The woman in my lap rolls her eyes at him, "You're fun, Faith. And if someone like you can make criminology sexy the applications will be rolling in. The dean should be thanking you. I wouldn't be surprised if he asks you to stay and do more courses. Probably plaster you all over the college website and all their other marketing."

"Seconded." Shuffling his notes he flips over half the cards, "Even if it's the most boring course known to man, like a Ph.D in Drying Paint. I'd be there with bells on if someone cool like you was in the class."

Regarding my friends with a raised eyebrow I respond, "Thanks. I think."

The orchestra begins and Samantha makes her way back to her own seat. Leaning in, I tell Geoff Buffy wishes him luck with his speech and he turns round to wave at her. She waves back at him and gives me a thumbs up.

Geoff signals my attention with a soft nudge, "You have a beautiful mind, Faith. No matter what anyone tells you, you're more than just a hot body and a pretty face. You do know you were only two points behind me, right?"

"Just two, huh."

"Yeah. Think about that for a minute. It could've been you about to get up there and spout a monologue in front of everyone."

Dodged that bullet.