Snapshot

The mission was finally and successfully over with, and Buffy couldn’t remember the last time she had been so happy to put a battle behind her. She’d taken several painful shots in several now increasingly painful places, and while she didn't expect to emerge from every fight unscathed, she hadn't been quite this scathed in a long while. She could feel herself stiffening as the Slayer adrenaline began ebbing its way back to normal levels while she sat calmly in the jam packed van. It was a jam packed van that Xander was driving a little too fast considering that no one was seriously injured, courtesy of one Willow Rosenberg in full Glinda mode.

Buffy didn’t exactly know why she hadn’t felt like getting fussed over, but she hadn’t, and so she had timed it just right and slid smoothly into the van past the line of injured Slayers. Willow spared her a brief, yet severely disapproving glance before letting Buffy escape without a word into the back row’s window seat. It was the spot that offered the most privacy in a multi-passenger vehicle, and Buffy took it gratefully.

It wasn’t long before both vans were fully loaded and ready to go, and after a final check, Willow climbed into her co-pilot seat. She managed to give Buffy the stink eye before buckling herself in, but Buffy pretended not to notice as she leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.

“We are cleared for take-off, Captain Harris.”

“Affirmative, Lesser Captain Rosenberg.”

As the van took off, Buffy began trying to tune out the increasingly excited chatter of eight Slayers who were quickly turning back into eight excited young girls. She didn’t begrudge them their excitement. It was their first real mission and they had done well, better then well, and Buffy was proud of them. Still, did they have to be so loud and high-pitched and in such close quarters? She chuckled to herself because the more the years moseyed along, the more she understood Giles’ annoyance with her back in the day.

With a little concentration, she soon had everything zoned out, her thoughts exclusively on getting into her gigantic Jacuzzi tub and Jacuzzing it up for hours, like the true Jacuzzi junkie she was. Her mind had already skipped right over the agonizing sting all of her cuts and scrapes were going to cause when they hit the water, and had moved her gracefully right smack dab into the pure bliss part where she would spend several hours luxuriating with…

"OW!"

"Sorry, B."

Xander had taken the corner a little too fast and Faith had slid along the half empty bench seat, elbowing Buffy right in her sore ribs.

"Not your fault, F. Xander, could you maybe make this ride a little less teeth rattling?"

Xander looked at her in the rearview mirror, but it was Willow still facing forward who spoke first:

“Of course if somebody had just let me take a look at her before we got going…”

"Sorry, Buffster, I just need to be somewhere that’s else."

Faith let out a whooping holler that cut through the din:

"Cyclops is ridin’ the Pussy Train!”

The van went silent, all conversation stopped as all eyes turned to a now so beet red Xander, he was glowing in the dark.

"And thank you, Faith, for that delicately put announcement of my personal doings."

"Got your back, buddy! We’ll let Janie handle the front!"

Everyone kept looking, but Xander was all about eye front and center, his hands ten and two on the steering wheel. He could feel Willow staring at him with an amused look on her face, but he refused to give her even a glance:

"Shut up, Will."

With the show apparently over, the noise soon returned to its previous wall of sound level, and Buffy turned to Faith:

"So Xander hasn't slept with Janie yet? How is that even possible?"

Faith turned to Buffy, a smart ass grin on her face:

“Oh, they’ve slept together, buncha times. Cyclops says they sleep like logs."

Buffy laughed and clutched herself to ease the pain.

"But they've been going out for forever now."

Faith lowered her voice and leaned in close:

"Just short of six months. Girl's got some issues and Xander's bein' the stand-up guy he is."

Buffy looked at the topic of discussion:

"That is so sweet and so Xander."

"Yeah, Xand's definitely the best. So, what's your plans for the rest of the night?"

Buffy winced as she shifted around in her seat.

"A glass of white wine and a long soak in my Jacuzzi."

Faith was busy trying to look at her elbow as she responded:

"Hear ya on that. Is this bitch still bleeding?”

Buffy bent forward to get a good look.

“Nope, it’s already scabbing over.”

“Good deal. Man, I haven't been this fucked up since back in Sunny D."

Buffy smiled, there was absolutely no tightening up at the mention of that night because they had both put it far behind them. The years had finally let it settle and their solid friendship had wasted no time in burying it deep.

"Hey, that's what you get when you fight a Slayer."

Faith laughed and eased her arm back into her lap:

"Nah, that's what I get when I fight The Slayer.  Was looking forward to a soak myself, but might skip it since it means more time with these air raid sirens."

"What's wrong with your tub?"

Faith gripped the armrest as Xander hit a pothole going ten mph over the Sex Waiting speed limit.

"Leaks all over the place. Xand ordered a new seal, but we're still waiting."

"Well, you're welcome to share mine. It's more than big enough for two."

"Thanks, B, but I don't wanna crowd ya. Know how much you dig being alone after a fight, and I guess it's not gonna kill me this one…"

A particularly loud scream shrieked through the van, rising in both pitch and volume as other voices joined in:

"No!”

"No he did not!"

"Yes he did too!"

“I can’t believe this!”

"Details, now!"

"Wait, we’re almost home! Call Nancy in the other van and have everybody meet in the spa. That way I can give everybody every detail at once!”

The loud squeal of unified excitement at this idea pierced through everything in its path, especially the eardrums of The Chosen Two. Buffy looked at Faith:

"So, Tough Girl – would you like to change your mind?"

Faith already had her cell phone out:

"I'll bring the pizza and the beer."

**********

Buffy sighed, then did it again. Her eyes were closed and she was stretched all the way out, her head resting comfortably against the tiled wall and her arm resting just as happily on the ledge where her glass of white wine sat easily within her grasp. The initial stinging was long gone and now the water was only soothing, the jets hitting everywhere they needed to hit. It was pure bliss and she took another sip as she heard Faith closing the front door with what was probably a kick.

"It's me and the chow!"

"Hurry, it feels like Heaven!"

"Always gotta be a know-it-all, dontcha?"

Buffy smiled; only Faith ever joked with her about being in Heaven.

Faith appeared in the doorway carrying three large pizza boxes stacked on top of each other, a six pack of Sam Adams balanced on either side, and a two-liter bottle of Diet Coke rolling precariously in between. Buffy's still nearly full bottle of wine was liberated from the refrigerator and tucked snugly under Faith's arm.

"Hiya, B."

"God, you smell delicious."

"Might be from my shower, but probably just the pizza. Was a battle not to wolf down a pie on the ten step trip here. Got a table can handle this?"

"It’s right outside the door."

Faith vanished, but was back in seconds carrying an end table with everything piled on top.

"Perfect, B."

She sat the table down, picked up the bottle of wine, and approached the tub:

"Didn't know if you wanted to drink this or beer with your pizza, and I brought some Diet Co…"

She was in the middle of setting the bottle on the ledge, but she missed and would have dropped it into the water if Buffy hadn’t reached out quickly for the save.

"Hey there, Clumsy Girl, I like to drink it, not..."

"Naked."

"What?"

"You're naked, Buffy."

"Yes, I am without clothes in the bath."

"But I'm here."

Buffy looked longingly at the pizza, still too far away for her to reach.

"I did think of wearing a suit, but I've got way too many cuts and bruises to mess with that. Plus, I didn't think you'd care. I mean, you are still Faith Lehane, right?"

Faith looked at Buffy's face:

"Yes, right, that’s right. It's no big, just surprised me you were okay with it."

"Call me Little Miss Not So Tightly Wound Sometimes."

Faith laughed, then walked over to the table, lifting it up and placing it down right next to the tub.

"So, ya never answered: coke, beer, or wine?"

"What the heck – wine, please."

Faith pulled the stopper and refilled Buffy’s glass, then handed her a slice of pizza:

“Meat Lovers Vegan Dreams rockin’ it side by side, Summers’ style.”

Buffy barely got out her thanks before taking a huge bite, and Faith didn’t waste any time grabbing herself a piece of her very own special order pizza – triple pepperoni slathered with green peppers, olives, and jalapeños, or as the pizza joint called it: The Heartburn Express. She stood in place, devouring the entire slice in three large bites before unscrewing a beer and drinking half of it down without stopping.

"Damn, that is delicious."

Buffy nodded as she spoke around the food in her mouth:

"Wait until you’re in, it's a sensory overload."

Faith hesitated.

"Uh, got my suit on underneath."

"Well, you have to take it off or I'll feel self-conscious."

"So I just strip?"

"Sure, I'll close my eyes until you're all the way in. Wait…"

She got another piece of pizza, then shut her eyes.

"Come on in, F."

Faith was undressed and under in record time, her painful hiss long and loud as the water hit her scrapes and scratches for the second time that night. She saw Buffy smiling around a bite of pizza:

"And that ladies and gentlemen was the non-fun portion of the evening."

The stinging began easing off and as Faith faced Buffy, she felt the jets pounding away. As she fully settled, the water reached just below the base of her neck and with all of the bubbles roiling around, nobody was going to be able to see much of anything unless they tried. She tentatively stretched out and discovered the tub was large enough that there was no chance of them accidentally touching, and with that comforting info socked away, Faith finally relaxed and leaned back with a contented sigh.

"All clear, B."

Buffy's eyes opened and she reached for more pizza, handing Faith a piece first before getting her own.

"See? Heaven, right?"

"Absolutely. These jets are wicked better than mine."

They ate and chatted about nothing and everything, the aches and pains soothed by the liquid heat as well as by their Slayer healing, and both of them were having a great time.

"No, what I'm sayin' is: Giles is aging good. Was always sexy and guess he's goin' out that way."

Buffy's foot poked Faith in the thigh:

"And what I'm sayin' is the same thing I always did – Ewww, gross!"

Faith laughed:

“B, admitting G-Man’s a looker doesn’t mean you gotta do him.”

“That’s it!”

Buffy stood to make her escape and Faith choked on her last sip of beer. She began hacking and sputtering, and Buffy leaned in to pound on her back, her empty wine bottle splashing into the water.

“Whoa there! You okay?”

Faith nodded, clearing her throat before she spoke:

“Just went down the wrong pipe.”

Buffy stepped out of the tub, Faith studying the wall next to her, her eyes nowhere near Buffy until she was safely wrapped in a towel.

“It’s all clear now.”

Faith flushed even more as she realized she was fooling no one:

“Hey, just trying to respect your private space.”

“Thanks.”

Buffy grabbed another towel from the fully stocked cabinet and tossed it to Faith who caught it easily. She got to her feet and quickly covered herself, knotting the towel securely off to the side and just above her breasts before stepping out of the Jacuzzi. She looked over to see that Buffy was busy toweling her hair dry as she stood in front of the large mirror above the sink.

“Feel free to take whatever you want, Faith.”

Faith’s plan was to pass behind Buffy on her way to the shelves, but when their eyes met in the mirror, Faith found herself mesmerized. She slowly drifted off course, drawn to stand directly behind Buffy as their locked gaze never wavered. They stood unmoving, frozen, until Faith’s hands gently slipped the towel from Buffy’s grasp:

“Here, let me do that for ya, B.”

Spoken softly in a husky voice right next to Buffy’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine that quickly had plenty of company when two strong hands began stroking the towel against her head. Again Buffy was still, caught in a moment that was weaving itself around them with a strange, yet familiar rhythm, and it wasn’t long before the towel fell to the floor. Faith’s fingers began sliding through the tangles, gently unsnarling, caressing, and teasing out soft moans of pleasure as they seduced Buffy’s head to fall forward. Faith eased closer, her front pressed against Buffy’s back, her hands sliding slowly down a strong neck, skimming lightly across exposed shoulders to glide smoothly down firm arms until they rested gently on Buffy’s covered stomach.

Buffy’s head leaned back on Faith’s shoulder, her eyes opening when she felt Faith’s lips placing a soft kiss on her throat. Together they watched as Faith’s hands loosened Buffy’s towel and slid through the gap to casually cup the breasts they’d been resting safely under just moments before. The sight surprised them both, as did the motion of Buffy pushing the towel all the way free from her body and lifting her hands to cover Faith’s. Once again their eyes connected in reflection until Buffy’s head turned, her mouth meeting Faith’s with a blazing heat that Faith somehow managed to increase, an old simmering fuse finally being allowed to catch and ignite at its full intensity.

The Slayers were on fire, nothing had ever felt so good, and yet Faith pulled back just the same.

“B?”

“I’m not drunk. I know exactly where I am and what I’m doing.”

And with that declaration, they were off.

No more stopping, no more hesitating, just what had been coming for them for years, and Buffy and Faith finally rose together to meet it.

**********

Answering the knock, Buffy opened the door to find Faith on the other side.

"Hey, B."

"Hello."

That was it until Faith spoke again:

“Can I get an invite?”

Frost hung off of Buffy's every word:

"Any reason you should?"

"Not really, but I'm hoping anyway."

Buffy didn’t move for a few seconds, then stepped aside as she gestured her in.

"Just so you know, I'm hoping you're a vamp."

Faith walked past Buffy into the living room:

"Sorry, gonna be a disappointment on that one too."

She shrugged out of her jacket, tossed it on the couch and then sat down next to it, staring at the floor. Buffy chose the chair directly across from her and waited. Faith finally looked up:

"I know I've been acting like an asshole these last coupla weeks."

Buffy wasn't giving an inch:

"Really? Well, I'd say it's been an act worthy of an Oscar because you've totally got me convinced."

"Yeah, funny how you can start out with a goal, then when ya get there, it sucks. I made a mistake, Buffy. You didn’t and don't deserve anything like what I been handing out and I’m sorry."

Buffy restlessly picked at the wooden armrest of her chair and Faith went back to staring at the floor.

"So that's it? That’s all you've got? Well, I have to tell you that's not even going to be enough to save our friendship."

Faith's eyes flew up, the panic clearly written on her face.

"B, please, I don't wanna lose our friendship too. Losing the other's tough enough to handle, I can't…We gotta be friends."

Buffy laughed, but there was no happiness in it.

"So we sleep together, then for the next two weeks you proceed to act like I'm something unpleasant stuck to the bottom of your shoe. You refuse to talk to me, except maybe to offer the occasional insult, you won't explain what's wrong, you won't even give me a clue, let alone the time of day, and you think saying you're sorry now is going to fix anything? Wow, that’s great, Faith, just fantastic. Thanks so much for stopping by."

Buffy stood and after a slight delay, Faith picked up her jacket and walked slowly towards the exit. Buffy was already there holding the door open, her face showing not the slightest sign of friendliness, and as Faith approached at a snail’s pace, she slowed even further until she’d stopped completely. She turned to face Buffy head on:

"B, please."

"Please what, Faith? I accept your apology, okay, but I think it's pretty clear we need to keep things all about the slaying from here on out. It was my mistake to think there could be more between us, so let's just cut our losses right here. Good night."

She closed the door the second Faith cleared the frame and Faith heard the deadbolt engage. She was on the verge of tears, her heart breaking as she shook her head in a dazed denial.

"No…There’s no fucking way it goes down like this."

She knocked on the door again and waited. When Buffy opened it, she didn't look happy:

"Gee, I never figured you for a stalker."

"B, I can't go back to us not being friends. I hated it then and it'll kill me now. Please let me explain."

Buffy was clearly skeptical:

"Didn't you just try to do that?"

"I can do better. Just gimme one more shot."

For a few terrifying seconds it looked like Buffy wasn’t going to cooperate, but then with a roll of her eyes she relented.

"Okay, let's sit back down."

They resumed their previous positions and Faith ran her hand through her hair as she blew out a big breath and just said it:

"What we did, Buffy, it meant something to me. I guess it just comes down to I was hurt and wanted to hurt you back. Thought I was past that kinda baby crap, but guess there’s still plenty I can fling at the wall.”

Buffy's confusion was plain to see:

"Hurt? Why were you hurt? I thought we…I thought it was great for both of us."

"Was the greatest and I even dug the cuddling after. Never did that before, so I had no clue the pooch could get screwed that bad. Thought it was all just sweet nothings, not some truth I wasn’t ready to hear. It cut deep, B, but that’s not on you, and I shouldn’t have acted like it was.”

Buffy didn't look any less confused and she moved to sit next to Faith on the couch.

"Faith I don't understand what you're saying."

She was too close and Faith tried to stand up, but Buffy's hand grasped onto her forearm, keeping her right where she was.

"Don't walk away, tell me what you're talking about."

“Look, everybody’s got a right to feel like they do, but hearing you say it didn’t mean anything to you…”

Faith trailed off and Buffy began going over their after sex conversation in her head. She hadn't done much of that before, merely filing it all under the category of: Sexed Partially Unconscious, Half-Coherent Pillow Talk After the Most Mind Blowing Sex Ever Had and Why in God’s Name Had They Waited So Long When Faith Was Everything She Had Ever Bragged She Was and More.

Her focus had been almost exclusively focused on reliving every delicious second of their lovemaking, as well as hoping that she could come up with some snazzy code name to describe the sexual experience of her life. Because Buffy planned to refer back to the world’s most important event as often as possible for the rest of her life, but unfortunately there hadn’t been much time for that kind of savoring or any other kind, before Faith morphed overnight into an unappealing and unexplainable mixture of Parker mixed with Angelus as a Hyena person.

It was a combo that took Buffy right out of the – All Loved Up and Loving It haze that she’d been planning to float along in for at least forever or until they did it again, and had instead shoved her into a painful past history that was never past enough and still hurt like hell. None of what Faith was saying made any sense.

"Faith, I thought it was all perfect. The sex was wonderful, you stayed after, and we cuddled and fell asleep. How did you get the impression it didn't mean anything to me?"

"'Cause you said so."

Buffy let go of her, her voice rising for the first time:

"I did not! I mean, I don't remember every single word I said, but I know I didn't say that or anything like it! I couldn't have because that wasn't how I felt, not at all."

Faith's eyes lifted from the floor, doubt and hope shining in them in equal measure.

"But you practically said it right out, B. Even an idiot woulda picked up on it."

Buffy thought back and she wanted to say that yes, clearly an idiot had picked it up and had also run with it, because nothing that was said that night was even remotely close to anything like what Faith was suggesting. They had simply snuggled together, talking about meaningless stuff on their way to falling asleep for a bit before they could summon up the energy to have sex again. At least that was Buffy’s plan. Sure it had been an exhausting night – a huge, epic battle followed by some huge and epic sex, but they were Slayers after all, and Buffy figured with just a two-hour catnap they should be ready and raring to go again. And again.

But when she woke up an hour and fifty-two minutes later, instead of seeing the most beautiful brown eyes in the world staring back at her, Faith had been gone, and just that quickly things began veering down a less than perfect path. Buffy had decided not to overreact, at least there had been a note:

B,

Had to go.

F

Not the best of notes, but then she’d never thought of Faith as a wordsmith either. Besides, the whole prior portion of the night had been so fantastic, Buffy was more than willing to grade any and all upcoming activities on a curve. That consideration quickly proved undeserved as Faith had behaved like a complete and utter jerk for no reason at all. But now Faith was claiming something had happened to cause her mean and stupid behavior, and if that were true, maybe there was still the possibility that they had a chance…a chance Buffy dearly wanted them to have.

She thought back to the exact words they had exchanged two weeks ago:

"Wow, B, gonna have to look for the top of my head once I can move again."

"Head Top Blowing Off is just a small part of the service I offer."

Buffy moved discreetly, doing her best to make it seem like she was just innocently snuggling instead of cutting off what she assumed was going to be the "Get Some, Get Gone” portion of the night. She wanted Faith to stay, wanted them to bask and simply marvel that finally, finally, they had done what they'd both wanted to do since they'd met. Buffy felt like she was floating on a cloud of happiness, the kind she had maybe never even seen before, let alone felt, and she just wanted some time to savor it before she had to pin it down and put a name to it.

She smiled against Faith's smooth, warm, naked chest, her leg tightening across both of Faith's strong, supple ones, and her arm stretched out just beneath Faith's spectacular breasts. Her hand was rubbing slowly and softly along Faith's arm until it reached high enough to tangle lightly in her beautiful, slightly damp hair.

"Gettin' the sense you're cutting off my escape here."

"Guilty as charged. Do you want to stay or should I ease up, F?"

Faith laughed and Buffy felt it against her cheek as it rumbled through Faith's chest.

"Course I wanna stay. Been trying to get here 'bout a hundred years, so ‘less something crazy like Acme dynamite starts dropping, not budging."

Buffy's head lifted, kissing Faith’s shoulder as their eyes met:

"Your ways of speaking are strange, but since there's no dynamite of any kind anywhere near, I'd say we're pulling at least an all-nighter."

She then planted one on Faith's lips, a kiss that was fully and eagerly returned.

"Besides, it might take a while to find the top of your head."

"Ah, forget it. Fucker's just gonna blow off all night, ya know?"

They kissed, caressed, and recovered, talking about mostly nothing until Faith began praising her.

"Man, B, can't believe you've only been with one chick. Pretty sure you taught me some stuff."

"I have many skills, F."

"Tellin' me you guys only did it twice?"

"Yep, the first time I didn't exactly know what I was doing, and the second time it was goodbye sex, so you know."

Faith hand was stroking Buffy's hair, enjoying the feel of the strands sifting through her fingers.

"That musta been hot. Goodbye sex usually is."

Buffy shrugged:

"I never should have slept with her in the first place. I knew she loved me and I didn't feel anything like that for her. I was just lonely and curious, and it was flattering she was so into me. But it was a mistake, a selfish one, and I promised myself right then and there I would never do that to someone again. If I wasn't in love, I'd make sure my partner was a hundred percent fine with casual hook-ups. Not that I’ve put this enlightened philosophy into practice all that much, but you know, sometimes there’s only so much a non-fat yogurt can do for a girl.”

Buffy didn't remember much after that, she had fallen asleep rather quickly, but she had all the information she needed. The lightbulb had gone off, the wattage the intensity of a prison searchlight looking for escapees going over the wall, and she wondered at herself. How could she be so clueless and maybe even downright stupid?

"Faith…"

“Not your problem, B. I just…I guess I thought us finally hooking up was maybe gonna be something.”

Buffy took Faith’s hand in her own:

“I do too and it was, no maybe, definitely. Honest.”

“Huh?”

Buffy smiled and squeezed Faith’s hand a little tighter.

“So not the time for Buffy Speak, right? Let me start over. I wasn’t putting you in the casual group, I was just explaining what I’ve done over the years. Although I’ve only done it two times, maybe four if I count Josh, which I’m not sure is totally of the valid either time. But in no way did I ever see you as a part of: The New and Improved Adult Slayer Sex Plan.”

“Really, B?”

“Of course, really. You are nothing like Satsu, not in any way, and there is absolutely no comparison between you and anyone in the world. There never has been and there never will be. I thought you knew that.”

Faith relaxed back into the couch:

“Guess I was more with the wishing than the knowing. When you said all that stuff, I figured you musta been hammered after all and I was just there to scratch an itch.”

“I was a little tipsy maybe, and after I was definitely sex drunk, but I told you I knew what I was doing and I did. The sex was so amazingly beautiful and sexy and way better than I’d ever imagined it could be, which trust me when I say I’ve imagined some pretty hot sex with you over the years, and I was insanely giddy because it had finally happened. I never thought you’d think you were anything less than a majorly huge deal. I mean, you’re Faith, and I would never…”

Her voice was cut off as Faith’s mouth found hers, the kiss lasting forever and not nearly long enough. Buffy laughed when it ended:

“Yes, now that’s much more how I see us. In fact, I’d like to keep doing that, please.”

And they did, the passion increasing until it threatened to take over. Surprisingly, it was once again Faith who eased back and Buffy wasn’t happy with the change, her face scrunching up and her lower lip extending into a pout:

“No, no pulling away. Tell me you’re not going to make a habit of this.”

“Not a chance, B, but I wanna tell ya again I’m really sorry. I got feelings for you and…”

“And you show them by being a total jerk? I’ll make a note, F.”

“Yeah, but I...”

“Hey, not a good look to be sure, but I wasn’t exactly a rocket scientist either. God, we just do not communicate well, do we?”

“Never really had to talk much with anybody before, so guess it’s all gonna be on you.”

Buffy leaned in for another kiss, this one shorter, but no less full of desire.

“We could be in trouble then because when it comes to actual communicating by talking? I talk a good game, but then when it’s actual talking communication time, I’m not nearly as good at it as I should be. See, I’m already lost and messing it up.”

Faith laughed and pulled her closer:

“So we really gonna sorta give this a shot?”

“I want to, no sorta involved. I’ve been waiting so long for this, Faith, I am definitely not on the side of just letting things fizzle out between us…and I’m guessing by that dimple inducing smile you agree?”

“Yeah, I’m all in, B.”

“Okay, so then it’s settled! Maybe we should shake hands on it or something.”

Faith stood and lifted Buffy as she did.

“Think maybe we oughta do something else to seal the deal.”

Buffy’s arms wrapped loosely around Faith’s neck, the look in her eye way over on the wicked side.

“What exactly did you have in mind, F?”

Faith sat Buffy down on the bed and pushed her back, following right behind her.

“Lotsa things, B.”

“Okay, I suppose it’s only fair to let you start things off this time.”

Faith paused, her hands firmly grasping the bottom of Buffy’s shirt:

“Hey, not saying you didn’t do your fair share, B, but was me who got it goin’ last time.”

Buffy laughed, knocking Faith’s hands aside and quickly pulling her shirt over her head.

“You’d think so wouldn’t you, until you find out that the seal for your tub had been sitting in Xander’s workshop for almost two weeks at that point.”

“What?”

“I told you, F – Little Miss Not So Tightly Wound Sometimes.”

**********

Faith took a deep breath; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so nervous and it was stupid. It was just Buffy waiting for her. To go out on a date. With her. Faith. Jesus, the question now was why wasn’t she even more nervous? Maybe it had been a bad idea to make it an official event, an actual date date.

Because dating was something Faith had never done before in her entire life, not unless she counted that one time her and this guy, Frankie…Teddy…Tanky…stole some watches from a store where the dummy owner left them uncased, and then cashed them in at the pawn shop that never asked questions. They had scored a cool hundred each, then went back to his place, smoked some stuff, and had sex. They agreed to meet up the very next night for another go around.

“It’s a date, gorgeous! Bucks and Fucks is us!”

“Yeah, real blast.”

At seven o’clock sharp the next evening, they did the exact same thing, except with jewelry, only this time security caught them in the act. Faith quickly shoved Alex…Georgie…right into the two store cops and booked it as they all collided and stumbled to the floor. She had her own haul, as well as the stuff she’d managed to snatch out of her partner’s hand as he went down, and this time when she walked out of the pawn shop it was with four hundred and seventy-five dollars in her pocket. She wasted no time getting her stuff out of the rat trap she’d been crashing in and catching the first bus out of town, a mere twenty-five minutes after it had looked like her days as a free kid were over.

“Jesus, Lehane, you sure got some great memories.”

She shook it off; nothing from then was going to help out now because now was a simple, normal, run-of-the-mill kind of date: dinner and a movie. She’d thought long and hard on it before the idea popped into her head, but from everything she had seen and heard in her lifetime, it seemed to be the gold standard of first dates. She was pretty sure, but she didn’t want to take any chances, not when it was Buffy. She decided to run it past Xander.

“Hey, Cyclops. Listen, I wanna take B out on a date. Is dinner and a movie alright?”

“Ah, the classic first date. Everyone likes to eat and watch mov…What?!”

“Whoa, what the hell are you screaming for?”

He looked at her like she had two heads:

“You’re going out on a date with Buffy, as in Buffy Summers, and this is how you’re choosing to break the news?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, what’d ya expect: streamers and a press conference?”

Xander shook his head, his expression one of total disbelief:

“And while that approach would not be overkill in the slightest, I’m pretty sure there’s something in between that and this when it comes to delivering the earthshaking, mind blowing news that my two favorite Slayers are now considering getting sexy times with each other.”

She took a moment to consider the situation from his viewpoint.

“Okay, guess I get that. My bad, yeah? But you’re sure on it being a good first date?”

“It’s a perfect first date, a total crowd pleaser.”

With a satisfied nod, she got to her feet:

“Thanks for the info. Thought it was right, but it’s B, ya know?”

“Yes, I know, although I’m still having some trouble processing.”

“Yeah, can go there myself if I let me.”

She walked over and opened the door, then turned back to look at him:

“Hey, Xand?”

“Yeah?”

“That ‘considering’ part? That’s a ways back.”

She blew him a kiss as he sat there speechless and staring, the only sound besides a bunch of pins dropping was her laughter as she closed the door. She strode down the hall, but she could still hear him:

“You are so spilling the details later!”

Buffy was clearly happy with the idea, making it seem like she’d never thought of it or even had it offered to her before:

“That would be just perfect, Faith! You can pay for dinner and I’ll treat us to the movies.”

For most people that financial breakdown would have seemed grossly unfair, but then they didn’t have any experience with Slayer metabolism. A nice walk along the lake or through the park would burn off dinner quite nicely, and have Buffy and Faith ready and raring to go when it came to movie concessions, extra butter always included.

But back firmly in the now, Faith smoothed her hair, rolled her shoulders, and knocked on the door. It didn’t take long before Buffy responded, a beautiful Buffy smile on her beautiful Buffy face, and Faith’s nerves drifted away.

“You’re right on time.”

“Yeah, hope that’s okay, B.”

“It’s fine, I’m almost ready. Come in.”

Buffy kissed her as she started to pass by, then did it again.

“You look amazing, Faith.”

“Bought a new shirt, figure red’s my color, but doubt anyone’s gonna notice when you’re lookin’ like that.”

Buffy beamed and preened her way over to the table near the door.

“So you’re a sweet talker? I like it.”

“Why I’m doin’ it.”

“Ahh, a smart sweet talker. Even better.”

Buffy snapped on the small lamp, took some money out her purse and slid it into the front pocket of her jeans. She checked herself out in the mirror hanging above the table, and satisfied that her hair looked good, she turned to Faith.

“Are we ready for this?”

Faith grinned and wriggled her eyebrows:

“Was born ready. ‘Sides, how bad can it be?”

Buffy closed the door before she linked her arm with Faith’s and headed downstairs.

“You do know you just totally jinxed us, right?”

“C’mon, B. Think we can handle five people razzing us. ‘Sides, Dawnie’s still gone, it’ll be a breeze.”

The lobby most resembled Grand Central Station in its heyday, seemingly tens of thousands of Slayers filling every available space and at least half having something to say while the others were content to sit back and watch the show. Buffy and Faith looked at each other and then plowed ahead, each step they took met by catcalls, smart ass comments, and wolf whistles. The large glass doors leading to the outside seemed to be moving away from them, but finally The Chosen Two made it. The last thing they heard before they escaped to safety was Xander being Xander:

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t want too. Take plenty of pictures, no, take videos!”

Then the doors mercifully swung shut, the soundproof glass heroically living up to its name. Faith’s pride and joy – her ‘68 Candy Apple Red Mustang – sat waiting patiently for their arrival.

“Parked here in front so we could make a quick getaway.”

“It might be quick, F, but it’s definitely going to be heavily supervised.”

They walked down the front stairs and Faith opened the car door for Buffy. She flipped a bird over her shoulder at the still gawking Slayers, some with their faces smushed like little kids against the glass, and others banging for attention while they shouted commentary that was still thankfully unheard.

“Jesus, wish we could shut their nosy asses out.”

“Does it make me a bad person that I was already considering it?”

“No, B, just makes you wicked awesome.”

Buffy laughed and took the keys from Faith’s hand:

“In that case…”

She depressed the Emergency Only button and they heard the glass doors lock as the large metal shutters slid out from their hidden slots, moving much faster than the manufacturer’s estimate, all courtesy of Willow’s ever evolving Wiccan skills. The expressions that stared back at Buffy and Faith were priceless: shock, anger, pouting, amusement, and most surprisingly the severe look of disapproval at this most serious breach of protocol which quite frankly, displays a rather startling lack of maturity that shall necessitate a meeting tomorrow afternoon at the latest.

“Oh shit! Where the fuck did G-Man come from?”

“Just get us out of here!”

And Faith did, hustling around to her side of the car and wasting no time before executing a perfect: Don’t Let the Shutters Hit You on the Way Out getaway, all complete with gravel spraying like crazy and the sound of their laughter trailing out behind them.

**********

Dinner was delicious and Buffy had never seen Faith more at ease and open. It made her even more attractive and Buffy knew exactly what was happening: she was falling head over heels. Faith was funny and smart, had boatloads of charm to spare, and she was still incredibly hot after all this time. The attraction between them that had existed since Sunnydale had only built over the years, settling itself into a solid friendship with a still active and unmentioned live wire of lust running through it. Buffy was loving that the wire was now exposed, that she could just sit there amid the sparks and crackles and stare at Faith like she was a vat of chocolate wearing the latest Jimmy Choos. Now there was a thought: Faith naked and covered in choc…

“B?”

“Sorry, I was daydreaming.”

“’Bout?”

“You naked and covered in chocolate.”

Faith took a sip of her water:

“Keep that up and we won’t make the movie.”

Buffy reached across the table for Faith’s hand, her thumb instantly caressing along each finger in a way that had Faith drinking more water.

“Buffy…”

“Sorry, I’ll try to be good. It’s just that you are so incredibly sexy.”

Faith blushed and Buffy was captivated again.

“And you being shy and turning red only makes you more gorgeous.”

Faith raised her free hand for the check and it wasn’t long before they were outside. It was a perfect moonlit night, and the location of their restaurant directly across from the lake made it easy to decide where they should take their evening constitutional. They started off apart, but they hadn’t gone far before they were holding hands, leaning into each other, pausing occasionally for a kiss, and entwining their arms as if they were just two lovers out for a romantic after dinner stroll. And they were, but they were also two Slayers, which became wicked obvious to the two vampires that attacked them as they sat on a secluded bench watching the moonlight sparkle on the waves.

An hour and a half later, Buffy and Faith found themselves at the theater loaded up with goodies. They had been asked so many questions on the way to obtaining their loot, it felt like they’d been interviewed, although Faith would have said “interrogated with more to come for just a fucking quarter extra”.

“Wow, how many people are you two buying for?”

“None of your fuc…”

“A lot. How much is it?”

They sat up top in the very back row, the theater mostly deserted and no one anywhere near them. They ate everything, sharing and playing nice until there was a small skirmish for the last of the Milk Duds. Faith won, but then Buffy pouted and Faith caved, just like that.

“So you’re a chick that don’t play fair?”

Buffy laughed and spoke before filling her mouth with sticky, chocolate, caramel goodness:

“And you’re seriously just figuring that out?”

She poured the candy into her mouth, but then dug into the box to retrieve the last one. She held out the Dud between her fingers:

“Buh I do wike to weward…”

Faith kissed her, and Buffy knew in an instant she would always count this as the messiest, hottest, ickiest, sexiest kiss of her life. When they broke apart, speaking was much easier for her:

“Faith!”

“Bwe!”

She grinned – again with the simultaneous sexy and icky magic – and as Buffy watched entranced, Faith snatched the Milk Dud from her fingers:

“Owl twake dis wan too, Twikie.”

**********

Faith was pleasantly spent, sprawled naked face down on her bed with Buffy sprawled naked face down on her. She was asleep, her breath blowing out regularly against Faith’s shoulder and neck, tickling, yet comforting, and Faith was hoping they weren’t moving any time soon. The position they were in hadn’t started off the way it had ended, not that Faith was complaining. The way they had gotten where they were, and then what and who had gone down when they had arrived, was all good and then better.

“Wicked better.”

Faith held her breath as Buffy stirred, but didn’t awaken, allowing Faith to happily continue her trip down Short Term Memory Lane.

“B, will you stop fucking around?”

“Aptly put, but I am not fucking around. I am holding my ground, demanding my rights, refusing to let you top me.”

“Look, I don’t give a shit who’s on top. I just…”

With a move she still couldn’t figure out, Faith suddenly found her face smashed into the mattress and her arms pinned low on her back.

“Call me Topper.”

“I’m ready to call you nuts and a few other...”

A series of small kisses heated up the skin between Faith’s shoulder blades, then tingled down her spine to places even lower. The raspy, delicate, touch of Buffy’s tongue soon had Faith squirming with no place to go.

“Mmm…I like this. It makes me feel powerful.”

“So you’re into this kinda stuff?”

Buffy nipped at the small of Faith’s back:

“I think maybe I’m into everything with you.”

Faith smiled:

“Liking the sound of that.”

“You’re also liking the feel.”

“That too, B.”

“Let’s see how much, F.”

It had turned out to be very much, maybe even excessively much, and Faith was definitely in some kind of sexual nirvana. She had always suspected that Buffy would be an amazing lover and she had not been wrong. Buffy was passionate, inventive, and had proved beyond a doubt that the best partner for a Slayer was another Slayer. Faith had finally found herself evenly matched when it came to stamina, desire, and strength, and sometimes she even found herself coming in second place…bringing up the rear…Yeah, the Head Slayer had it going on.

Faith loved when Buffy took charge of her, when she didn’t wait her turn, when she just went all alpha and…

“Mmm…a penny, no a crisp, shiny hundred for your thoughts, F.”

“Was just thinking how good you are in the sack.”

Buffy smiled, stretched, rubbed, and caressed all over Faith.

“I do have a way. You have a way too, especially as a mattress. Whatever number is perfect for me, that’s you. You are rocking the Sleep Number: Buffy Summers something fierce.”

“Glad to hear it, Princess.”

Faith took a shot at it and Buffy moved as easily as liquid caramel, oozing along with wherever Faith was taking her. Faith ended up flat on her back, Buffy slightly off to the side, but still in Faith’s arms.

“So what happened to Topper?”

Buffy nuzzled in:

“Oh, she just works part time.”

“Maybe oughta get a copy of her schedule.”

“Sorry, her hours are completely flexible and so is she.”

**********

The holiday weekend was winding down, and Buffy and Faith were seeing it out together by watching a television documentary on monkeys. Buffy was sitting up with her legs on the coffee table and Faith’s head resting comfortably in her lap, realizing that she had lost all interest at least a half an hour ago. Faith had never been interested in the first place, stating plainly that she didn’t care one way or another what they watched. She was happy just to drift along in a blissful state as Buffy played with her hair like a gorilla grooming its mate.

“Faith?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Do you ever think about what it’d be like if you had a different father?”

“No. Get what ya get.”

Buffy nodded, her hand maintaining a sure and steady rhythm against Faith’s head.

“True, but I can’t help thinking about him on Father’s Day, you know? For a long time I tried to pretend that he was a good dad, but he never really was. He didn’t show up when Mom died or check to make sure we were okay, and Giles couldn’t even get hold of him to tell him that I’d died, which turned out to be a good thing, but still. We haven’t heard from him in so long, even Dawnie’s lost track. How can a father just desert his kids like that?”

“Don’t know. Be glad that’s all he did.”

Buffy heard the tense tone and knew Faith didn’t like talking, especially about herself. But they were relaxed, it had been a great weekend, and Buffy tried to pick her spots whenever they seemed promising. She had always wanted to know more about Faith’s childhood, but aside from a handful of comments over the years, Buffy only knew in a general sense that it had sucked and that Faith had been on her own at an early age.

She knew basically nothing about Faith’s father, her comments were always about her mother, so Buffy was determined to take advantage of Father’s Day to gain a little insight.

“What did your father do? Did he hit you?”

“Yeah. Where’s the remote?”

“It’s still on the floor. Did he do it a lot?”

“Yeah. How much longer ‘til: Who Flung Shit: The Monkey Years wraps?”

Buffy kept up the hair stroking although it didn’t seem to be having the same soothing effect.

“How old were you?”

“Little.”

Faith sat up, almost taking one of Buffy’s entangled fingers with her.

“Maybe wanna patrol?”

“Hey?”

It took a while, but Faith eventually made eye contact.

“Faith, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, I’m just trying to get to know you a little better.”

“Yeah, well some shit’s better a secret.”

“I don’t think that’s true, especially when something’s so painful, and you talk about it with someone you can trust.”

Faith’s rolled her eyes:

“Gee, wonder who you’re talking about? Lemme see if I can crack the code.”

Buffy chose to ignore the sarcasm, convinced that she could get Faith to open up:

“You’ve sort of said a couple of things about your mom over the years, I just wondered about your dad. Kind of natural on Father’s Day, right?”

Faith stood:

“Maybe. All I know’s I’m not like you. I don’t stumble over a vat of shit and land in rainbows and sunshine, Princess.”

“Whoa, if you really don’t want to talk, fine. I just thought we could share some…”

Faith laughed:

“We fuck and hang out, Buffy. I don’t need share time or a shrink.”

Buffy got to her feet then, her face flushed with anger:

“You’re not in therapy, I’m just trying to have a personal conversation, and I don’t appreciate you talking to me like I’m your whore with benefits.” 

“Hey, you don’t like it? Fine with me.”

 Faith scooped her jacket off a nearby chair and shrugged into it.

“You’re leaving?”

“Rather watch paint dry, so yeah. Don’t wait up, Princess.”

**********

Buffy unlocked her front door and gave a silent thanks that her long day was finally over. She had spent it training newbies who thought they knew more than they did, and given the fact that she was already irritable, she considered it a job well done that she had left them all alive. As her reward, all she wanted was the take-out she had brought home, followed by a long soak in her Jacuzzi. She had bought way too much food because she was used to Faith sharing meals with her, but that didn’t seem any more of a likely scenario tonight than it had for the last three nights.

“Let’s hear it for Father’s Day.”

In retrospect, Buffy realized she had been a little tone deaf during what was obviously a hot button topic for Faith, but then what wasn’t a sensitive subject when it came to Faith? It made talking to her about anything personal like trying to traverse an active minefield, but then that wasn’t exactly a surprise to Buffy and she knew she had screwed up more than a little bit. Still, the way Faith had talked to her and then just left was not only not appreciated, it was also majorly out of line, and Buffy felt she was owed a big apology. 

“Yep, Buffy’s owning the moral high ground and sitting here alone with enough food to choke a stupid Slayer. Both of them.”

There was a knock on the door and although Buffy’s heart leapt, she knew it was just Willow. She was supposed to drop off Xander’s suit for Buffy to take to the drycleaners tomorrow on her way to pick up Dawn’s bridesmaid dress. How Buffy had suddenly become the designated Scooby Chores Girl was beyond her understanding, but since her favorite diner and stores were right in the middle of where she was going to be, Buffy had decided to make a fun day out of it.

“Coming!”

She was already talking as she opened the door:

“Last chance, Will, if you need something done. Going once, going twi…”

“Hey. Red said to give this to you.”

Faith held out Xander’s suit and Buffy took it from her.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah. Um, could I talk to you?”

“Sure. Come on in.”

Faith did, closing the door behind her. Buffy draped the suit over a barstool:

“Where have you been?”

“No place really. Just laying low and wondering how to apologize.”

“And?”

“Never did figure it out, but I am sorry, Buffy. I shouldn’t have talked like that to you and I didn’t mean it anyways.”

“So then why say it?”

Faith’s eyes dropped to the floor.

“I don’t know, guess because I’m a jerk.”

“Well, you’ve definitely got a consensus going here. You don’t really think we’re just having sex and hang…”

Faith met her eyes again:

“No, that was just some mean bullshit and I’m really sorry I said it.”

Buffy stood there looking at her for several seconds. She could see that Faith was ashamed of her actions, and Buffy could also feel her own happiness that Faith was back. The words said on Father’s Day still stung, but the sincere apology had gone a long way in lessening the effect. An argument was an argument, and Buffy wasn’t the kind to hold a grudge.

“Okay, apology accepted, and I’m sorry too. I was being a little insensitive and I should have just stopped asking you about it. But it’s hard, Faith. I don’t want to pressure you, but you’re not exactly an open book. And I’m fine with that most of the time, but once in a while, maybe you could let me skim a page or two?”

Faith nodded:

“I can do that, B.”

Buffy nodded, her face considerably more cheerful than it had been in days.

“Okay, so are you hungry?”

“Ever known me when I wasn’t?”

“Well, sit down, I was just getting ready to eat.”

“Don’t wanna horn in and…”

Buffy moved Xander’s suit to the couch, gesturing for Faith to sit at the bar.

“Don’t be silly, I bought enough for you too.”

Faith sat, a happy grin on her face.

“Yeah? Why’d ya do that?”

Buffy started by pulling the meatball sub from the bag:

“Because I’m used to you being around and because I guess I was hoping.”

Faith unwrapped the sub, stealing a bite before it was completely free and clear.

“Mmm…still warm, B.”

Buffy slid a Diet Coke and a root beer along the bar, then grabbed a bag of chips and her own turkey sub before walking around to sit on the other barstool. They ate in a silence that got more comfortable as it went, and when Faith finished first, she stayed right where she was. After a couple of minutes passed with no movement on Faith’s part, Buffy looked at her:

“There’s a lot more food.”

“Yeah, figured.”

“So?”

“Happy where I’m at. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Faith.”

Faith shifted on her stool, her hand lifting slightly before falling back to rest on the bar. The motion didn’t escape Buffy’s notice:

“You can touch me, you know.”

“Can I?”

“Of course you can, any time you want to.”

Faith’s dimples deepened:

“Now we’re talking 24/7, B.”

“Sounds yummy from here.”

“From here too, but think I’d like it better over there.”

Buffy swiveled to face her and Faith stood between her legs, clearly entranced by the up close and personal view. She delicately placed an errant strand of hair behind Buffy’s ear, then left her knuckles resting lightly against the smoothest skin she’d ever felt.

“You are so beautiful, like the sun or the breeze blowing through the trees.”

“Faith…”

“I love you, Buffy, with everything I have, with everything I am. I know it’s maybe not good enough, but God do I ever want it to be.”

Buffy’s eyes teared as her hand came up to stroke Faith’s cheek.

“Don’t ever think you’re not enough, you’re everything.”

Their kiss was soft and slow, and when Buffy pulled back, she took Faith by the hand and led her into the bedroom. When they got there, Buffy lifted Faith’s shirt over her head and arms, letting it fall to the floor next to them. Faith was braless and Buffy instantly leaned forward to place a kiss on each breast, then began unbuttoning Faith’s jeans. She slid them down slowly, her lips following leisurely behind as she left a trail of kisses first on one leg and then the other. When she could go no farther, she coaxed Faith into stepping out of her pants, then rose to kiss her on the mouth again.

“It’s you who’s beautiful, Faith, inside and out. How could I not love you?”

She edged Faith backwards until her legs pressed against the mattress and she sat down on the bed. Buffy placed her palm between Faith’s breasts, applying just enough pressure to ease Faith flat on her back. She undressed herself deliberately, her eyes on Faith’s as she exposed herself bit by bit, and when she was naked she settled herself on top of Faith for another kiss.

“I want you to know how much I love you, Faith. I want you to feel every ounce of it, and I want you to be mine.”

It was a long night and as the sun finally rose, all either of them could think was that it hadn’t been long enough. A whole lifetime wasn’t going to be long enough.

**********

The day had been perfect, the sun shining warm and bright, and the sky an endless blue filled with drifting white clouds. When sunset came, it was with a burst of glorious color, the final display from a sun that had put in a full day’s work. Now the darkness had fallen, making it clear that Faith knew what she was talking about: night time was the best time for attending a carnival.

Buffy and Faith had shown up just as the sun began setting, walking hand in hand as they strolled from food booth to food booth, sampling everything on offer.

“Are you sure this food is safe to eat?”

“Best not to look too close, B. Just shovel it in.”

Not exactly the most comforting advice Buffy had ever received, but when delivered by a gorgeous woman masquerading as an excited child with funnel cake powder all over her face, who was Buffy not to happily follow along? Hotdogs, hamburgers, french fries, caramel apples, barbequed chicken, cotton candy, every soda known to man, woman, and Slayer, the aforementioned funnel cakes, all of it delicious and not looked at closely at all.

The rides were also incredibly fun, and Faith consistently steered them to the ones that made it seem like the riders were going to be flung to their deaths at any moment.

“Long as we hit a funnel cake booth when we sail out, I’ll die happy.”

They decided not to play any of the obviously rigged games they passed, despite the numerous “deals” the workers offered them. They just sauntered by, smiling and generally ignoring the continuous commentary until Faith nearly yanked Buffy’s arm out of its socket. She had stopped on a dime in front of a booth, and without so much as a word to Buffy, she strode up to the counter.

The carny was already into his spiel:

“Step right up and win any of these spectacular prizes. All you gotta do is knock the three bottles down with one throw.”

He demonstrated how easy it was, then quickly set the bottles back up and turned to Faith with three smaller than regulation softballs in his hands.

“The price is two dollars per ball, but for you, pretty lady, it’s three balls for just five dollars. Whaddya say?”

Faith slapped down two dollars and took one of the balls from his hands:

“I say I only need one.”

Her throw was right on the money, the cork filled ball hitting with such force it shattered the bottom bottles, exposing the lead lining in the base of the one on the left.

The carny was shocked, not to discover that his game was rigged, but that an essentially air-filled ball had literally destroyed three extremely solid milk bottles.

“Whoa, Supergirl. That’s a nice throw, but no win since there’s still pieces standing and the rule is...”

“Right, and that piece of leaded bottle says screw that.”

Her voice wasn’t loud, but coupled with the look in her eye, he got the unspoken message that her volume could increase at any second.

“Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! Anything you see, it’s your choice! Might I suggest this nearly life-sized Scooby Doo or how about this Chewbacca that…”

Faith was already pointing in the opposite direction, toward the smaller prizes.

“Right there, that’s the one I want.”

The carny was still somewhat dazed and confused that her throw had broken all three bottles to smithereens, something that had never happened in the eighteen years he’d been running the Milk Bottle racket. Hell, nobody had even so much as chipped a bottle before, but he couldn’t dwell on that craziness now. The mark was looking at just two sizes up from the “pity” prizes, which was way less pricey than what she had won fair and square.

The downside was that a crowd was beginning to gather, there was nothing like a big winner to attract attention, and it was now to his financial advantage to let her haul away a larger prize. It was Textbook Carny 101 that when the other marks saw a gigantic stuffed animal going over the counter, they would be begging him to take their money.

He quickly knocked the rigged bottle to the ground, kicking it under the table as he grabbed his backup bottles from the nearby shelf.

“Miss, are you sure? You’ve earned the right to select any of our incredible, highly crafted…”

“Cut the shit and gimme that one.”

He nodded with a big smile, and thought it through rapid fire. While not perfect, it was as close as it could get. She was staying quiet about the rigged part of things and she was drawing lots of money his way. Everyone was crowding around now, holding cold hard cash in their hot little hands, and just dying to give it to him. They had all heard him offer her the largest of prizes, who could explain why the crazy bitch wanted a smaller one? Whatever, it was time to move her out and suck everybody else in.

“This lovely young lady put down just two measly dollars and won this adorable, fluffy frog!”

“No, the one down on the left. The yellow one.”

He finally grabbed the right prize, holding it off to the side to move Faith out of the way:

“Here you go! Congratulations, little lady! Step right up people! If she can do it, so can you!”

Faith took the prize and walked over to Buffy.

“Figured this belonged to you.”

Buffy’s smile was enormous as she took the bumble bee, rubbing it against her cheek and finding it was just as soft as it looked. She held it out to read the inscription written in cursive inside the red outline of a heart:

Be Mine

Buffy swooned and swayed, Buffy practically melted where she stood before pulling Faith close for a passionate kiss. When they parted, Buffy still held onto her, murmuring low into Faith’s ear:

“Did I ever mention I’m in love with you?”

“Heard somethin’ about it someplace.”

They walked around hand in hand with Buffy frequently holding up her prize and squealing with delight at how adorable it was.

“Look at him! Isn’t that the cutest little smile? And his cheeks are all red. He’s blushing like you do.”

“Hey, I hardly ever blush. I’m way too cool for that.”

Buffy leaned into her:

“Except with me. With me you blush all the time.”

“Whatever, B. Wanna get a corndog?”

The Ferris wheel was Buffy’s all-time favorite, it had been since she was a child and her parents had taken her to the fair every year until their marriage began falling apart. When she told Faith she hadn’t been on one since then, Faith began making a beeline for it.

“We can hit it now and a buncha times later too, if ya wanna.”

“No, wait. Let’s wait until it’s really dark and we can look out at the city all lit up.”

“However’s good with me, B. Just gimme the heads-up.”

It was about two hours later when Buffy gave Faith an excited smile:

“Heads up!”

“Let’s do it!”

The line was long, but not too bad. When they finally got behind the chain that said they were in the next group to ride, Faith told Buffy to hold their spot.

“But Faith, we get to get on when it stops.”

“They’re still spinning, I got time.”

She wasn’t gone for long, all smiles as she hopped the railing to catch up to Buffy who was now nearing the front.

“I’m pretty excited, B. Think I’ve only been on one of these once.”

“You’re going to love it!”

And Faith did, although even if she had hated it, she would have loved it for making Buffy so happy.

“Isn’t it neat how we can see so far away? Look at those city lights.”

“Yeah, fuck, it’s even fun looking at the parking lot from up here.”

Then with a jerk they stopped, delicately swinging as they sat right at the top.

“Uh-oh, I think we’re stuck.”

“Yeah, looks like, B.”

Buffy didn’t seem to mind that much:

“Wow, look at the stars and the moon. It’s so pretty up here.”

“Somethin’ is.”

Buffy laughed:

“You’re not even looking, you’re just staring at me.”

“Nothing up here holds a candle, B.”

They made out for the entire fifteen minutes, stuck at the top of the world with just the universe keeping them company. No longer Slayers, just two girls in love, happy and free. A series of telltale jolts warned them that they were about to start moving again, and they both adjusted their clothing.

“Okay, now I’ve got way too many clothes on. Let’s go home, F.”

“Great idea. Take a last look at the view, B.”

And she did, turning to face Faith just as fully as she could:

“It’s stunning, and I will never get tired of looking at it.”

Faith blushed, the redness not doing anything to diminish her beauty:

“Think that’s gonna hold even when I’m old?”

“Especially then.”

Buffy kissed her and they held hands as they waited for their turn to disembark. When the operator released the lock and lifted the bar, he didn’t apologize for the malfunction as he had with every other rider. He simply smiled and as Buffy walked past him and out the turnstile, he whispered to Faith, unaware that Slayer hearing made his comment much less than private:

“Ya make good use of the full fifteen?”

“Every second. Best fifty bucks I ever spent.”

“Then everybody’s happy.”

“Pal, I’m dancin’ on the moon.”

And so was Buffy.

**********

Buffy and Faith were out on the slowest patrol in history, unless any of the month’s previous patrols were being counted. It had been pretty much dead for everyone for three weeks now, which on one hand was a good thing. However, like with most things, there was usually a second hand, and in this case that hand was the much less than ideal one. Assuming, and everyone knew the deal when you did that, that everything was fine and the bad guys were not all huddled together planning to make a run at Apocalypse Attempt #953, there was still a huge problem, one the medical staff at Slayer Headquarters could attest to.

There was a large quantity of Slayers living in close quarters, a large quantity of non-slaying Slayers living in close quarters, each one possessing a hair trigger temper and the willingness to fight any and all comers at the drop of a stake. Still, hope sprang eternal, only to be kicked roughly to the curb when nearly every sparring session started off normally, but then quickly became something much closer to a street brawl than a friendly workout. Someone would say something just a little too cutting, a punch would land just a little too hard, a kick would connect just a little too solidly, and they were off.

The violence wasn’t limited to just sparring either. Anywhere two or more Slayers found themselves sharing the same air and space was considered the perfect spot to start beating the hell out of each other. The last week had been increasingly brutal with fights breaking out in the lunchroom, the hallways, the lobby, on the main staircase, during movie night over whether or not the assembled group was going to be watching: Die Hard or Die Hard 2. Once that scuffle was broken up, a new one began over whether the popcorn should be buttered or not.

Buffy and Faith seemed to be mostly unaffected by the lack of slaying. True, they were a little crankier than usual, but as Willow rightly pointed out:

“Yeah, but it’s not that much different than it is any month.”

Their sparring sessions with each other had always been much rougher than anyone else’s, often so rough that those not in the know thought that what they were witnessing was a battle to the death or at the very least the hospital. But The Chosen Two hadn’t been interested in killing each other for a very long time, and now they merely enjoyed unleashing their full power on the only person in the world that could handle it. The lack of a good slay made their sparring a bit more intense, the same could be said for their sex life, but Buffy and Faith were weathering the current and lengthy dry spell fairly well.

Well enough that they were walking hand in hand through the same cemetery for the third time that night, with nary a vamp in sight.

“So, whaddya think, B?”

“I think maybe we’ve killed every vampire and demon in the whole Cleveland area. Go, us!”

Faith laughed, Buffy was actually trying to sell it.

“Yeah, doubt that’s...”

As if he’d just been awaiting his cue, a vampire burst out of his grave, only to be staked by Faith before he’d managed to take a full step.

“…true, Slayer.”

Buffy wasn’t going to be thwarted:

“Okay, so we missed one. All we need to do is find him or her, and then we can retire to someplace warm and beachy.”

Another vampire emerged from a small grouping of trees, followed closely by two others. Faith grinned when she saw another grave erupting and Buffy rolling her eyes.

“Really? You guys couldn’t even let me have the dream for one minute?”

The fight was on, and although it wasn’t much of one, it was something. The Slayers disposed of their foes as quickly as they could, although each would admit that they had maybe played a little with their last kill. With the final dust blowing in the wind, the Slayers strode eagerly off into the night, Buffy singsonging her invitation:

“Here vampy, vampy. Come to the two delicate looking Meals on Wheels.”

“So, ya figure what, B? Bahamas in like forty years?”

**********

They’d had it planned for a week. Just the two of them at their favorite club. A night out filled with eating, drinking, and dancing. Nothing but fun, fun, fun…and Buffy storming out in a rage.

It had all started out just like it was supposed to. They got a great booth for two off to the side, ordered a couple of cokes to stake their claim, and then they had hit the dance floor. Faith was a great dancer and Buffy was no slouch, but when they danced together they were amazing. They were all sex, even when they were just goofing around, and they always attracted a crowd whenever they began to move together.

And moving together they most certainly were, dancing up a sweat and a hunger that eventually drove them back to their booth ready to chow down. They had the waitress clear their untouched cokes, and then ordered a Sam Adams, a margarita, a couple of waters, and a giant plate of nachos and cheese to start them off. The music was live and loud, but it didn’t pose a problem for Slayer hearing at all.

“So look at us, B. Hittin’ the town as a duo.”

“Yep, we’re high life living to the highest.”

The waitress was back quickly with their order, and Faith as always blew the paper from her straw right at Buffy, who as always batted it aside.

“High life living with a five-year old. Be still my heart.”

They dug into the nachos, polishing them off and downing their drinks like two hungry and thirsty Slayers. When they were done, Faith slid from the booth and held out her hand:

“Wanna dance with me, B?”

“Always, F.”

The first few songs were fast ones, but then the band decided to slow it down and the Slayers moved closer. They were content to basically stand in place as they swayed together in an embrace, their bodies touching nearly everywhere, the warmth spreading between them. After two songs of the sweetest torture, they agreed to take a break and get something a little more substantial to eat than what Faith called:

“Salty cardboard with cheese on it.”

They each ordered two cheeseburgers with the works, fries, another beer, and a Diet Coke. By the end of the meal, Buffy had to make a pit stop:

“I think I’m wearing most of my mustard, maybe the ketchup too. Go start us off, I’ll be right back.”

Faith watched her until she was out of sight, then slurped up the final sip of Diet Coke.

“Jesus, how does she drink this shit?”

She wove her way onto the crowded dance floor and followed the beat. A group moved closer to her, especially this guy and girl. She kept doing her thing, and then Buffy was back and all hell had broken loose. There was yelling, name calling, then they were off. Faith barely had time to throw some bills down to cover their tab and the tip as she hurried to catch up with Buffy. She still hadn’t drawn even by the time they hit the parking lot, and Buffy wasn’t happy with the delay:

“Open the damn door, Faith!”

“Yeah, I’m trying.”

Faith kept pressing the button as she rushed towards the car, and finally got close enough for the system to engage and unlock all of the doors. Buffy got in and slammed her door hard enough to make Faith wince in gratitude that they hadn’t brought her Mustang. She scurried around to her side and got in.

“B…”

“Just get us home.”

“Baby, listen…”

“Drive or I’m getting a cab.”

Faith started the car and pulled out, risking several side glances at Buffy as she drove. She didn’t need the visual to know that she was in big trouble, even though technically she had done nothing wrong. She knew it must have looked wicked different and way worse from Buffy’s vantage point; the whole scene unfolding before her as she walked back from the ladies’ room.

A red light had them stopping and Faith snuck another peek before she quickly returned her eyes to the road. Buffy looked hot, so hot that Faith knew she could have taken her right where they were, right in the middle of traffic at a busy intersection. Besides the fact that they couldn’t have sex surrounded by a bunch of other people, Faith knew if she tried anything even remotely sexy, Buffy was angry enough to make sure that Faith lost a few extremely vital parts on her way to going nowhere and getting nothing. Yep, fantasy car sex was out, even realistic car fooling around was off the table, and there would be absolutely no negotiating.

When they arrived home, Buffy was out of the Jeep before the motor had stopped, and once again Faith was left to follow in the wake of flames left behind. Buffy ripped her keys from the pocket of her jeans and unlocked the front door, slamming it at full Slayer force behind her. Faith just managed to catch it before it closed, but the impact made her hand sting. She shook it off and shut the door normally, locking it behind her and switching on the lamp to illuminate Buffy standing in front of the bar, looking at Faith like she was deciding if she should dust her or decapitate her.

“B, will you please calm down?”

“Sure, I’ll calm down when I hear an explanation that makes sense.”

Faith rolled her eyes, and Buffy didn’t appreciate the gesture in the slightest.

“Oh, am I putting you out, Faith? You think you don’t have to explain why you were letting another woman paw all over you?”

“I was not letting anyone ‘paw’ all over me. I mean, the guy was a little handsy, sure, but she was just an airhead, ya know? ‘Sides I put a stop to him right away and…”

Buffy slammed her keys down on the counter, and Faith saw a little piece of tile chip off:

“So you’re saying it’s okay to let some slut feel you up as long as you stop her boyfriend from doing the same?”

“No, course not. Look, this is stupid.”

Buffy’s voice rose, clearly not a good sign:

“Did you just call me stupid?”

Now it was Faith’s turn to lose it:

“What the fuck is going on? I didn’t say you were stupid, I said this sitch is.”

Faith reached for her, but Buffy pulled away.

“B, this is crazy. I can’t help it if somebody thinks I’m hot and yeah, okay, maybe I should have ditched them sooner. But there was a crowd, and I just thought we were all dancing in a clump. She was rubbing against my thigh, but it wasn’t steady, so I thought it was ‘cause we were jammed in. Soon as she hit a rhythm and said we oughta have a threesome, I made it clear that wasn’t going down, least not with me.”

“Well, aren’t you just a saint? So that explains why when I got there, her hand was on your breast and her thumb was stroking your nipple?”

Faith blew out an exasperated breath and ran her hand through her hair before she answered:

“Like I told you, I turned’em down, started looking around for you, and she grabbed me.”

“And you just couldn’t get loose?”

“Sure, coulda broke her arm, then you’d be asking me why I was so rough. B, I told her to let go, then her porn manager boyfriend slides in behind me with a boner he was proud of, so I elbowed him, yanked her hand away, and there you were.”

“…”

Faith reached for her again, and this time while she wasn’t exactly receptive, Buffy let Faith catch her.

“B, c’mon now. Like I’m hot for some dumb skank and her even skankier guy when I’ve got you?”

She nuzzled into Buffy, murmuring soft and low:    

“Nobody dead or alive measures up to you. Never have, never will.”

She tiny kissed her way from the side of Buffy’s cheek to her lips, and then she decided to risk it. Everything went great until Faith pulled back and Buffy decided to keep her bottom lip.

“Ow.”

Buffy held her an uncomfortably long time before finally letting go, her eyes still snapping with anger:

“Don’t let it happen again, Faith.”

“Understood. But damn, B, you look so fucking hot when you’re jealous.”

“Really? Well, I wonder if you’ll think I’m hot when I beat you to a bloody pulp?”

“Probably.”

Faith said it so seriously, Buffy couldn’t help but laugh.

“There is something wrong with you.”

“Buncha things, B. But I’m all yours and only yours.”

Buffy yanked Faith a little too forcefully to her.

“Come here.”

She kissed Faith hot, hard, and long, backing her into the bedroom as she did. She shoved Faith down onto the mattress:

“Stay right there, don’t move a muscle.”

Buffy undressed, flinging her clothes someplace behind her before she straddled Faith, a dangerous look in her eye that had Faith sweating.

“B, be easier if I got undressed too before we…”

“You’ll get undressed when I say so, and based on what got us here, I’d say it’s going to be quite a while from now.”

“But I…I mean…Buffy, c’mon!”

“I plan to, lots of times. Now be quiet.”

**********

Buffy was lying on the couch, her head propped up on throw pillows as she read a book Willow swore she’d enjoy:

“Honest, Buffy, no math or quantum theories anywhere in sight! Just an old fashioned murder mystery with a sexy romance thrown into the mix. You’ll love it!”

So far Willow had been telling the truth and Buffy was reading while she played with Faith’s hair. Faith was happy with the seating arrangements which saw her sitting on the floor, her back against the couch at just the right distance from Buffy’s hand. She was drinking a root beer as she perused a stack of comics Xander had dropped off for her, and both Slayers would have said it was a perfect way to pass a lazy Sunday afternoon. But Faith hadn’t been reading for a while, instead choosing to stare out the picture window at the tree branches blowing in the breeze, their leaves fluttering.

“B?”

“Uh-huh?”

“I was wondering…What do you think Angel would think?”

“About us being together?”

“Yeah.”

Buffy leaned over and took the bottle from Faith’s hand:

“I think he’d be happy for us.”

She took a sip and handed it back, her fingers wending into Faith hair to lightly scratch along her scalp.

Faith nodded, but said nothing.

“Don’t you think so?”

Faith nodded again:

“Yeah, probably. Be tough on him though. He never stopped loving you.”

“Well, maybe, but he had Cordelia and he…”

“Yeah, he loved her, but it was always you, B.”

It was Buffy’s turn not to speak, and Faith filled in the silence:

“Used to come see me in prison, wrote me at least once a week. Long letters ‘bout all kindsa stuff. He was my lifeline, saved me for real. He just wouldn’t let go and he made us be friends.”

“He was a good man.”

“The best. I’d have done anything for him.”

Buffy knew she meant it, and they were both quiet, two Slayers remembering the vampire they loved in very different ways.

“Whenever we’d talk, he loved talking about you. How tough you were, how smart, how you had the biggest heart. He had so much respect for you, as a Slayer and a person, and he was so fucking proud that you loved him.”

Buffy felt a tear trickle down her cheek and Faith took a swig of her pop before she continued.

“When I busted out of prison to take on Angelus, I went on that mind walk with Angel. Not sure how to explain it right, but you never came up once. No surprise, really. I mean, all this shit was going down, who had time for you? But, Buffy? You ran through every single thought in his head, you were just there, humming along in the background. That guy loved you.”  

Faith still hadn’t turned around, but she put her hand up on her shoulder and Buffy took it in her own. A couple of minutes passed as they just sat there thinking until Faith once again spoke:

“He knew how I felt about you, even though I never admitted it to him. He told me to give you time and you’d forgive me. I thought he was nuts, but like so many things he was right on the money. Guess you live a million years, you get smart as hell.”

Buffy finally found her voice:

“He wouldn’t be surprised at all, Faith. I think he knew this could happen way back in Sunnydale, and I’m positive he’d be happy we finally got together.”

“Yeah, he definitely wanted us to be happy and for you to be with somebody who loves you. And I do, B, so much I gotta tell you…I’d give you up if you wanted him.”

Buffy leaned forward to kiss Faith’s cheek:

“But that’s not possible and even if it were, I only want you. You’re the one I love.”

Faith finished her drink and got to her feet with a smile on her face:

“But Spike? I’d stake his fucking ass if he even laid a finger on you. Gotta draw the line someplace.”

**********

The knock on the door irritated her. It could be almost anyone and she didn’t much feel like talking to whoever they were. She didn’t feel much like doing anything except doing what she always did when she got like this. Angel thought he could brood, maybe, but she would definitely give him a run for his money on days like this. The knocking happened again and she decided to just answer it. She could make it clear that she wasn’t receiving visitors and who knew, maybe it would be Kennedy and she could just punch her lights out. No fuss, no muss. Well, maybe some fuss later, but whatever.

She snatched the door open, already snarling out her greeting:

“Fuck you want?”

The boy standing there took a step back, obviously intimidated and already well on his way to being flat-out scared.

“De…delivery, ma’am.”

He thrust the vase of twelve magnificent red roses at her, then handed over the box of candy.

“Have a good day, ma’am!”

Then he was hightailing it down the stairs, leaving Faith just standing and staring, her expression one of utter surprise. She dipped her face closer, inhaling the heady fragrance as she backed into her apartment and kicked the door closed. She sat the vase on the bar that divided her living room from her kitchen, placing the candy right next to it as she plucked the envelope from its holder.

You are so beautiful, Faith. All roses and Duds. Love, B

She had never received flowers before, never even come close, and she could feel her eyes welling up. God, they were so pretty. She leaned in to smell them again, then headed into the kitchen smiling the goofiest smile she had ever smiled in her life. She poured her beer down the drain, grabbed a can of Coke, and went out to sit on the barstool closest to her flowers. She ripped the box of Milk Duds open and ate them one at a time, savoring them as she frequently paused to stop and smell the roses.

She saved the last one for Buffy, smiling dreamily for the rest of the day until it was time for her to pay up.

**********

The Slayers were naked in bed, having arrived there by way of the kitchen floor. They were satisfied and blissful, with Buffy limply sprawled on top of Faith.

“Okay, that was…”

“I’d go with spectacular, F.”

“Yeah, but pretty much any way you describe it, you’re underselling. Man, we’re wicked perfect ‘tween the sheets.”

Buffy lifted her face to kiss the underside of Faith’s jaw, then squirmed to get herself up to eye level. Faith groaned, tightening her arms around Buffy.

“B, gimme a minute.”

Buffy laughed:

“I wasn’t trying to be sexy, I just wanted to see your eyes.”

“Yeah, but that’s the thing about a chick like you – you’re sexy just breathing. Start sliding Buffy parts around and…”

“Well, sorry, but those are the only parts I’ve got.”

Faith kissed her for a long time, her fingers trailing sparks and heat down Buffy’s back.

“Oh God…F, you said you needed a minute.”

“Yeah, I do, but I can’t have you thinking you ever gotta apologize for the BPs.”

Buffy slid off to the side, an arm and leg still over Faith.

“Let’s just bask for a while and…Faith!”

Faith shoved her roughly onto her back, pinning her hands above her head.

“Not able to bask right now. Gotta set you straight on a few things.”

Buffy laughed:

“Well, good luck with that.”

“Don’t need luck. I got a buncha FPs and I know how to use’em.”

**********

The staff was gathered in the large conference room, the meeting fifteen minutes overdue as Buffy waited for the last straggler to show up.

“Buffy, I think it’s time we started. I’m sure you can fill Faith in...”

Kennedy’s snort was loud as was her “OW!” when Willow kicked her under the table.

“…on whatever she misses. Really, Kennedy, must every reference become a puerile sex joke?”

“Sorry, Giles, but it was the look on Buffy’s face that made me…”

“Shut up, Kennedy. I didn’t have any look except you making me sick.”

“You shut up, Buffy.”

“How ‘bout everybody stuffing a sock?”

Faith came strolling in and took the vacant seat next to Buffy, and although she looked normal, Buffy saw something else. It was the same thing she’d been seeing for the last couple of weeks, but whenever she asked, Faith assured her there was nothing to see.

“All five by five here, B. Hey, ‘Beaches’ is on. Wanna bawl your head off and I’ll work real hard at turnin’ that frown upside down?”

Faith had been grouchy, just little things at first, and while everyone was entitled to their bad moods, this seemed to be much more than just a mood. Buffy had no idea what was wrong, which wasn’t exactly a surprise. While Faith had improved her communication skills a great deal since they had first slugged it out months ago, she still wasn’t exactly letting Buffy read the agreed upon page or two when it came to anything personal. Faith clearly preferred to go with a paragraph at a time, maybe even just a sentence or two if she could get away with it, outright lying if she couldn’t.

She was a brooder from way back and had learned long ago to hide her feelings deep inside. Buffy had always understood that, even when they had just been friends, and she never expected that when they became romantically involved, Faith would suddenly change that part of herself. Although Buffy would have liked her to, she knew that was not how people worked, and she was fine with that…to a certain extent.

Buffy had never loved anyone like she loved Faith, and without a doubt she knew that Faith loved her too. The way she smiled at her, the way she touched her, the way she did everything, revealed just how much Faith cared for her. Buffy knew very well what love felt like; she had been loved three times before, and not that it was a contest, but she also knew that Faith probably loved her more than anyone else ever had.  

It was beautiful, it was glorious, but Buffy wanted Faith to open up a little. She wanted to at least know what was bothering Faith when something was, she wanted to know what her demons were and when they came after her, she wanted to help if she could, wanted to fight with Faith against them, and she wanted to be someone Faith knew she could count on.

Instead she was still in the dark, distracted by incredible sex and loving gestures, pacified with evasions and outright lies, and presented with explanations that dribbled out grudgingly word by word only when Faith was forced to say something, anything. It wasn’t like some big deal was always going on, but whenever it was, Buffy found herself left with only two options, neither of which was all that effective.

Option #1 had her blowing up, angrily confronting Faith, and demanding that she talk. That never went well, and if it got too intense, Faith would simply take off and return with apologies when they had both cooled down.

Option #2 was all about being patient, never Buffy’s strongest suit. It consisted of calmly bringing up the issue and then backing off before she lost her temper. It also meant going along with the status when she knew the quo was nowhere in sight, and it meant not taking any of it personally as she waited for Faith to finally take some initiative of her own.

Buffy was currently smack dab in the middle of Option #2, sitting placidly like a zen-ed up fool waiting for something that seemed like it was never going to happen. She did her best to breathe deep and even as she subtly tried to move Faith along towards opening up, and at other times she just tried to do something fun with her.

She had done the fun just three nights ago when she had called Ken Venture, the owner of the tire place that kept all of the Slayer Central vehicles rolling. He usually had great Indians tickets to hand out as giveaways to his new customers, and Buffy was looking for some.

 “Hi, Buffy. What can I do you for?”

“I was wondering if you had any spares for tomorrow night?”

“I assume you mean tickets, not tires.”

Buffy laughed:

“Yep. I need two.”

“We don’t have any left, but I know who might. Let me get back to you, say in an hour?”

His return call was in just forty-five minutes:

“Two tickets at your disposal, ma’am. They’re up close, but they’re on the visitor’s side.”

“That’s even better! I’ll send someone to pick them up. How much do I owe you?”

He chuckled, shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him:

“Ellen’s already headed your way and there’s no charge for my best customer.” 

“Thanks, Ken.”

“Any time, Buffy. Say hi to Willow for me.”

When Buffy gave her the tickets, Faith brightened considerably:

“Really, B? Hey, these are on the Sox side too!”

“Yep, let’s go kick their butts.”

They’d had a good time at the game, plus the Sox won, and then they’d had a great time after as well. Faith seemed to finally come out from whatever dark cloud she’d been under, but now whatever was bothering her was back again. She didn’t seem quite as depressed, but Buffy knew that was just because she had gotten better at hiding it, a development that certainly wasn’t Buffy’s new fun fact. At any rate, now wasn’t the time to talk or even think about it, and Buffy got the meeting started.

Two hours later that they’d never get back, according to Faith, that had contained a near fistfight when Faith had had enough of Kennedy’s fuckin’ bitching about your goddamn schedule every fucking week, the meeting had wrapped. Buffy stayed behind, shuffling papers and pretending to be busy while waiting for everyone other than Faith to leave. She doubted that she had fooled anyone, certainly not the woman sitting next to her.

“All clear, B. What’s up?”

“Do I need something to be up to get in a few work smoochies?”

“Nah, boss definitely gets to harass this grunt.”

They leaned over and kissed, Faith pulling Buffy back for a much more intense exchange. Buffy loved the colorful hearts that swirled around her head and…

Stay on target, Buffy.

“So how come you were late for the meeting?”

“Just stuff.”

“Work stuff?”

Faith gave her a look:

“Well, yeah, seeing I’m at work.”

Buffy nodded and re-tidied her papers.

“That makes complete sense, but I guess I was just wondering if maybe you were on the cranky side because something happened.”

Faith put her boots up on the table, leaning the chair back on two legs.

“This about Silver Spoon? C’mon, B, really gonna try and act like we all don’t wanna punch her lights out? Only thing I can think is she must be hell in the sack. Otherwise, how’s Red not turned her into a toad a long time go?”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh, even though she knew Kennedy, according to Willow, had many positive attributes.

“No, it’s not about Kennedy. I was just wondering what’s been…”

“I mean, I can barely stop from wasting her every time I see her giant head. How the hell do you fuck her? Maybe Red makes her wear a sack. Tellin’ ya, a sack’s gotta be in play someplace.”

“…bothering you.”

She stood and pulled Buffy up with her.

“C’mon, both got a free hour. Let’s lock your office door and pretend we’re not there.”

With a kiss that every particle in Buffy’s body felt, Faith led her out the door.

**********

“Honey, I’m home! Pizza hot off the presses! Or whatever pizzas come off of. Faith!”

It was quiet, the small lamp on the table by the door supplying the only illumination. She still checked, but Faith wasn’t home. Buffy knew she didn’t officially have patrol tonight, but maybe she had gone out anyway. With the mood Faith had been in of late, it couldn’t hurt anything, except maybe the demon population of Cleveland. Buffy took a shower, slipped on her favorite boxers and Faith’s tattered Brady jersey, grabbed a slice of pizza and a Diet Coke, and then settled down on the couch. She was just in time for her favorite show: House Hunters International, but when back to back episodes finished an hour later, she became a little concerned.

She tried Faith’s phone, but it went right to voice mail, so she called Xander.

“Greetings, Buffster.”

“Hi. How did the repairs go?”

“Way better than expected. I’ll have it finished tomorrow, so I’m giving Giles the all clear to start re-booking the shelves.”

Buffy smiled:

“Always the kiss up. Hey, have you seen Faith?”

“Not since this morning. Was I supposed to?”

“Not that I know of. I brought pizza home and I was positive she said she’d be here.”

She could practically see him thinking:

“Well, she’s not one to miss out on pizza. Maybe she had to pick up a patrol.”

Buffy nodded:

“Maybe. I’ll check.”

“And if it turns out you need any help at all with the pizza…”

“You’re my first call.”

A quick conversation with Rona in the command center made it clear that Faith wasn’t on patrol.

“She not on again until Thursday with you, and she didn’t notify anyone she was going out. Not that she usually does.”

“Tell me about it. If anybody runs into her…”

“We’ll tell her to call you.”

Now Buffy was worried. Faith lived with her, although they hadn’t made that completely official yet, and Faith still had her own room. But she knew what time to expect Buffy and the pizza she was bringing home, so why wouldn’t she be there to greet her?

“Maybe I’m completely crazy and we were meeting at hers.”

She knew she was grasping at straws, as well as talking out loud to herself like a crazy person, but she went with it anyway. She tried calling again, only to get déjà vued by the voice mail.

“Okay, Buffy, get up and go find her.”

Since it was a walk of just a few steps to Faith’s door, Buffy didn’t bother adding any more clothes. The oversized jersey covered everything important, and only one of the tears showed a little more than she was comfortable revealing. So unless she ran into Giles, a very unlikely scenario, she wasn’t going to be embarrassed if she was spotted. Rolling the sartorial dice, in just seconds she was knocking on Faith’s door and waiting. When there was no reply, she knocked a little louder. Faith could sleep like the dead sometimes and was probably doing so right now, at least Buffy hoped she was. When one more loud series of bangs got no response, Buffy put her key in the lock.

She was a little confused as to why she’d knocked anyway; they were well past that stage and each had keys to the other’s place they were always welcome to use. She supposed it was because Faith had become ever distant the last several days, pushing Buffy away and shutting down whenever anything even remotely personal came up. Buffy had continued to remain calm and ask her what was wrong, and Faith had continued to plead ignorance. The routine they were in wasn’t going to hold for much longer, Buffy was almost out of Zen and she was tired of pretending nothing was going on. Faith wasn’t able to bluff her way through very skillfully anymore, and the tension between them was stretched out just about as far as it could go without snapping.

The key turned and the door swung open smoothly, the only light shining in from the hallway. Buffy closed the door, then hit the wall switch that turned on the lamp by the couch. She quickly made her way into the bedroom, convinced that Faith was sound asleep, but her always unmade bed was empty. She checked the bathroom, but there was no sign of her there either, and now Buffy was one hundred percent worried and confused.

She went back out into the living room, but nothing seemed out of place and there was no note. She was going to have to get dressed and start bringing other people into the situation, whatever the situation actually was. Maybe she’d missed a note at her place or Faith had left a voicemail that the phone had glitched or...Just as she reached for the doorknob, she thought she heard something.

She turned back, staring into the dining room, but all was now silent. She moved toward where she thought the soft sound had emanated from, peering through the near total darkness until her eyes adjusted and she could make out a figure sitting in a chair.

“Faith?”

There was no movement, no sound, and Buffy approached cautiously until she was close enough to turn on the overhead light. The instantly disappearing darkness revealed the woman she had been searching for – chair tipped back, an empty bottle of whiskey resting on the table next to her boot clad feet, a half-filled bottle cradled in her lap. Her eyes took their time in meeting Buffy’s, then wandered away as if they couldn’t bear the view.

“Faith! What the hell are you doing? Why didn’t you say something?”

“Nothing to say.”

Buffy moved closer:

“Nothing to say? So you just sit there watching me traipse through your place looking for you, and you can’t think of anything to say?”

“...”

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Stop saying that.”

Buffy dragged a chair over and sat next to her.

“Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

“No.”

“Okay, and many more words, please.”

Faith took a swig before she spoke:

“Not good company tonight. See ya later, yeah?”

“Faith…”

Buffy reached for her hand, but Faith pulled back.

“Well that’s interesting, I don’t think I’ve had cooties since the third grade.”

Faith stood and moved over to stand by the window.

“Look, it’s not you, alright?”

“All right, then what is it? You’ve been upset for close to a month now, so tell me what’s wrong.”

Faith took a long swallow from her bottle, then ran her hand through her hair.

“Buffy, if I wanted to talk, I’d have been at your place. Just go home and I’ll see ya in a coupla days.”

Buffy stood too, noticing that Faith backed away as she did.

“Okay, this isn’t how this works. We’re in a relationship now, and while I can give you space, I have to have some idea of what’s…”

“Fuck this.”

And then Faith was gone, leaving Buffy staring after her.

**********

Faith showed up just two nights after walking out, obviously filled with regret if her sorrowful expression was anything to go by. Buffy was surprised she was back so soon, but it didn’t really make a difference to her.

“I put your stuff back at your place. Here’s your key.”

Faith looked down at Buffy’s outstretched hand, obviously not comprehending what she was looking at.

“What?”

“You want to come and go whenever you please? Well, feel free to do that now.”

“B, no, wait. I’m sorry I just took off, but can’t we…”

Buffy was still handing Faith her key:

“We could do lots of things, but apparently you’re only interested in running just as much as you can. Me? I’m staying put.”

“I’m not taking that key. Let’s just…”

“Suit yourself.”

Buffy dropped the key to the floor and shut the door, leaving Faith standing where she was. She heard the door lock and it was a long time before she turned and walked back to her own apartment. When she got inside, all of her stuff was on the bar: clothes, comics, toiletries, her Godzilla on a skateboard, a half used tube of BenGay, her favorite throw blanket, her pillow, her iPod loaded with over ten thousand songs, at least a billion of them tunes Buffy liked, her PlayStation and the old school games that Buffy loved to play, and everything else she couldn’t pick out of the neatly stacked piles.

She went to grab a Coke out of the refrigerator, but when she opened it she saw that Buffy had returned all of her beers too, as well as the orange juice only she liked, and her unopened box of Snickers. She saw that her hand was slightly shaking as she popped open her drink and took a sip, and she felt herself starting to panic as reality set in.

No, it would be better in the morning; Buffy was just making a point to scare her. Mission accomplished for sure, so no need to keep it going past tomorrow. Except it didn’t let up, not tomorrow, not the next day, and not all week long either.

Her patrol was switched. She was no longer with Buffy, but Chao-Ahn, and she went to Giles to ask about the change.

“I’m afraid I’m quite in the dark. If Buffy switched things around, she didn’t say a word about it to me. Perchance you two are having a quarrel?”

“Yeah, could say that.”

He took off his glasses and smiled his reassuring smile at her:

“I’m quite certain it shall blow over soon, but it’s not at all the norm for her to allow her personal life to interfere with her Slayer duties. I’d be happy to speak to her on your behalf.”

“No, it’s no big and it’ll just make it worse if you get mixed in. But thanks anyway, Giles.”

She hadn’t seen much of Buffy all week, and she was nervous when the afternoon staff meeting rolled around. It went just like staff meetings usually did and Buffy was a total professional, yet somehow, something had made it obvious there was a problem between The Chosen Two. Everyone kept looking at Buffy, then Faith, and then at each other with increasingly worried looks. It was a huge relief when Buffy asked if there were any questions and there weren’t.

Everyone not named Giles beat a hasty retreat, a few even getting momentarily wedged in the doorway in their desire to make like Elvis and leave the building. Giles rose almost leisurely, asking Buffy to meet him in his office in an hour for a conference call with some concerned parents. He squeezed Faith’s shoulder as he passed by her, shutting the door behind him as he left.

Buffy stayed where she was, entering some important information into her laptop that had not made it into last night’s report. She was also doing a great impression of a person who didn’t know or care that Faith was still sitting next to her at the table.

“B?”

“…”

“Buffy?”

“Yes?”

“Could we please talk?”

“Now? I thought for sure you’d have to run.”

Her eyes never left her computer, and Faith was prepared to beg.

“Buffy, please?”

Buffy turned to her and when their eyes met, Faith saw how unhappy, sad, and angry she was.

“Go ahead, but you’ll have to make it fast. I have someplace to be in ten minutes.”

Faith wasted no time:

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these last few days, and I know how much I hurt you. That wasn’t the plan, not really, and I’m so sorry.”

“Wow, it always surprises me how easily you apologize. I’m not sure if that’s because you’ve had plenty of practice or because you really mean it.”

Faith was lost, already out of words, and Buffy laughed sadly under her breath.

“I still don’t even know what the big deal was, what you were so upset about. Care to tell me now?”

“It’s not something I can explain fast. Maybe I could come by later?”

Buffy closed her laptop and began gathering her things.

“What’s the point, Faith? You’re not going to…”

“The point’s I love you, you love me, and we’re both miserable. Okay, so maybe you don’t think you can be with me anymore, but I can’t not try to make it better. I’m not expecting anything in return, I swear, B.”

Buffy sat there, her head shaking slowly in disbelief.

“I must be out of my mind, but okay, fine. Come by after you’ve finished patrol.”

Faith smiled for what felt like the first time all week.

“Rona said she’d pick up my shift if you okayed it. I could drop by ‘round 7:30?”

“I’ll sign off on it.”

“Thank you, Buffy.”

Buffy nodded and without another word left the room.

Faith whiled away the hours one excruciating minute at a time, but no matter how busy she kept herself, time dragged past like it was holding a grudge. She was so distracted and out of it, Kennedy had almost beaten her at sparring until Faith realized what was happening and unleashed a flurry of blows to her big head that knocked her out cold. The group that had gathered around to take their shot at Faith suddenly disappeared, and she had to content herself with beating the hell out of every bag in the room.

At 7:20 she was standing in front of Buffy’s door, doing her best to wait ten minutes before knocking. She made it through two, but Buffy didn’t seem to be bothered by Faith’s early arrival. She gestured her in, shut the door behind her, and got Faith a beer and herself a bottled water.

“Thanks, B.”

“You’re welcome.”

Faith sat down on the couch and Buffy chose the chair across from her on the other side of the coffee table.

“Okay, um…I’m kinda nervous, so bear with me.”

And what an understatement that was. She was completely terrified and took a quick sip of her beer before placing it down on a coaster with the world’s cheesiest vampire snarling up at her. She’d bought it for Buffy at a yard sale a couple of months ago and…

“Faith, it’s kind of now or never.”

“Right. Okay…yeah. I killed a man.”

“And murdered another, I know.”

Faith took another swig of her beer, this one much bigger than the first.

“No, B, you don’t. And I don’t want you to know, but it’s gone past that now.”

She was quiet then, wishing there was a way she could avoid this, a way she could put it to make herself sound better. But there wasn’t, because she had been a monster and monsters deserved whatever they got.

She just sucked in a deep breath and let it fly, explaining to Buffy how she had outright murdered someone else.

“Wasn’t like killing Allan Finch or even Professor Worth. At least they had connections to the stuff that was happening, this guy didn’t have anything but bad timing and a big mouth.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sharing our deepest darkest, but I gotta tell ya, B – no matter how dark we go, I can always go it one better.”

No one said a word and Faith polished off her beer in one long chug.

“Was the anniversary that night I left. Kept building up on me, always does, and I kept trying to push it down. I shoulda just cut out for a coupla weeks like I do every year, but things were different and I didn’t know how to take off without explaining it to you. So I tried to gut it out, but guess we know now I couldn’t.”

Buffy was shocked and the pain on Faith’s face made her want to go to her, but she hadn’t even told the story yet.

“It happened before I stole your body. I was so pissed off – the Mayor’s #1, finally appreciated, trusted with all the important jobs, was right back to being just a fucking waste of space. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. So one night I’m coming back from getting some food, and I bumped into this guy on the sidewalk. No big, just shoulder to shoulder like sometimes happens, but he’s gotta make a crack:

Watch where you’re going, you dumb bitch.

“Definitely a killing offense, right? I dug my knife in him just as deep as I could go, and he was dead before I let him drop.”

Who’s the dumb bitch now, bitch?

“I left him layin’ there, the blood spreading out, and I was at least half a block away before anybody even realized what went down. I felt great, on top of the world, but at the same time it was already fading, like when you off a fly.”

Faith was studying the floor, her voice steady, and her hands restless:

“Finch I can carry. I killed him and its rough, but I know it was an accident. Professor Worth, well, I keep telling myself I went crazy and the Mayor had me all twisted up, bullshit like that, but this guy…I know it’s all on me, B, no excuses. I slaughtered somebody just ‘cause I wanted to, just ‘cause I could, and there’s no place you can hide from something like that.”

“Faith…”

“I didn’t wanna see that look in your eyes again, but here we are and what else can you do?”

Buffy left her seat then to stand right in front of her.

“Faith, look at me.”

“…”

Buffy shoved the coffee table aside and knelt in front of her:

“Look at me.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Buffy’s hand slid under Faith’s chin, gently, but steadily forcing her to raise her head. When their eyes met, Buffy spoke:

“All you see right now is love and the pain I feel because you have to live with this man’s death on your conscience. What you did back then is horrible, just about the worst thing ever, but you’re not that person anymore. You haven’t been her in so long and you never will be again.”

Buffy held Faith’s hands, raising them to press her lips against them one after the other.

“I was there, Faith, I saw what you were capable of. But the thing is, I’ve been here with you too, for a long time, and I know what you’re capable of now. You’re a good person, one of the best I’ve ever known, and I marvel at you. I know you’ll be at my side fighting evil, risking your life every step of the way to do what’s right, because that’s who you are, who you’ve made yourself into. Nothing you’ve said changes how I feel about you. I love you.”

Faith broke down and Buffy held her close. When the sun rose it found them asleep on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms.

**********

The idea of going away together had come to Buffy the morning after Faith’s confession. They’d had a big breakfast and as the meal was winding down, Buffy brought it up:

“So I was thinking maybe we could both use a break, just the two of us lazing around and having fun somewhere.”

“Not gonna turn down some off time. Where ya thinkin’?”

Buffy reached for her hand across the table:

“Some place beachy, but I’m open to other ideas.”

Faith used her free hand to fork Buffy’s last piece of pancake:

“Beach sounds good to me. Think Giles’ll let us go on short notice?”

“I think I can convince him. If I have to, I can always cry.”

Faith laughed:

“Yeah, that always works good for ya.”

“And maybe we can talk some things over, kind of build on last night.”

Faith polished off her orange juice.

“Doesn’t sound as good as fucking you on the beach 24/7, but yeah. I know I can’t keep bringing the drama, and I don’t want it like that between us anyways. Not sure what I can do, but I promise you I’ll try, B.”

Giles was a pushover and surprisingly offered no resistance at all.

“I’d say that’s an excellent idea! You girls well deserve a vacation, and in the unlikely event you’re required here at home, Willow can easily teleport you at a moment’s notice. Where were you planning to go?”

It was The Bahamas for two weeks, and with Willow’s help, Buffy made the reservations. They left just two days later, their room luxurious, private, and insanely expensive.

“Man, B. You musta really fired up the waterworks.”

“Yep, except I didn’t. He just agreed with everything.”

Faith never did figure out that Giles had their brief talk and the subsequent staff meeting in mind when he gave his okay, as well as the Council’s coffers, over to his Slayers. Call it Watcher’s Intuition or perhaps simply a father’s love, but Giles knew something serious was going on between Buffy and Faith, and he wanted them to have every available chance to make it work. Money was only money, there was more than enough to go around, but the same couldn’t be said for love and happiness. Giles was absolutely Team Fuffy.

The first few days they just had fun: swimming in the ocean and their private pool, lounging in the sun, eating and drinking like two Slayers who had been at the beach all day, going for long walks at night with the warm water lapping at their bare feet, making love whenever they felt the urge, taking in the amazing view from their balcony both day and night, playing strip poker, and generally just living it up in their own little paradise.

But neither of them had forgotten that the trip was also supposed to be a chance to work on some things without any interruptions, and Buffy decided to broach the topic after dinner on their fourth day in paradise. While she didn’t say it out loud, the look on Faith’s face was the classic:

Aw, do we have to?

It made her look like such a little kid, Buffy could have laughed out loud. Instead she settled for a smile, a smile she wished she could have hung onto over the next hour. It was like the talk they’d had before coming to The Bahamas had never happened. Buffy did her best to keep things as light as possible, while also reminding Faith of just how good they had both felt the morning after Faith opened up.

It was obvious that memory wasn’t helping. Faith clearly felt trapped, and it became apparent all too quickly that there was no way to stop it once it got going. As much as Buffy would have liked being a saint, she wasn’t, although she did an admirable job of staying calm and being understanding…until Faith brought up Spike in a series of escalating insults, and finally Buffy had had enough.

“Go to hell, Faith.”

Hurt and angry, she blindly grabbed a drink from the fully stocked refrigerator and went outside to sit on the balcony and cool off. She looked at her drink to find that she had taken a bottle of beer, not at all what she was hoping for. She opened it anyway, took a tiny sip, then rested it on the wooden armrest of her chair.

The sun was setting in a blaze of glory, the violent oranges, reds, and purples perfectly mirroring how Buffy felt inside. She picked at the bottle’s label with her thumbnail, wanting to beat the hell out of Faith, then shove her stupid body to the sand far below.

It wasn’t long before she heard the sliding glass door quietly swoosh open, then the sound of bare feet heading her way. Faith walked past her to lean on the railing as she faced the ocean, the only movement the wind blowing her hair gently behind her. Buffy wasn’t unaffected. Love had a way of making a person soften even when they didn’t want to, and although she was still mad, Buffy stopped imagining sawing the railing through to the breaking point, and watching Faith disappear from sight as it gave way.

Neither spoke, the seconds ticking into minutes until Faith finally turned to face her:

“B…”

Buffy made no response, but her gaze met Faith’s without wavering. Faith began fidgeting, her eyes staring down at the deck as her toes scuffed along the wood, risking a splinter or two. Her hands rubbed briefly along her arms and then her eyes returned to Buffy’s.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright?”

“Yeah, Faith, it’s just peachy.”

Faith started to move forward, but then thought better of it and stayed where she was.

“I didn’t mean half of what I said. I was just shooting off my mouth.”

“So which half was true?”

“B, c’mon.”

"No, tell me. I want to understand this new way you’ve chosen to communicate."

Buffy stood as she spoke, her anger nowhere near drifting away, and Faith was at a loss.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Buffy laughed:

"Really? So you brought up Spike because you thought it would bring us closer?”

“…”

“What you did is simple: you can’t pull your normal disappearing act here, so you turned into a bitch to get me to back off.”

"I’m sorry, Buffy. This isn’t easy and..."

“So what? You promised me, Faith, and right out of the gate nothing’s changed.”

Buffy wanted to throw her beer bottle against the wall just for the satisfaction of seeing it break into a thousand pieces, but instead she blew out a big breath.

“We’re here because we love each other and have some stuff to work through. Maybe we can’t fix it all, but I think together we can figure out how to deal and adjust. But you have to try, Faith, you have to trust me when I say I will never, ever stop loving you.”

Faith turned back to the ocean and watched as the last of the sun began its slide into nighttime.

"Never ever's a long time, B."

The sadness in Faith's voice made Buffy relent, and her arms were warm and solid, sure and safe as they slipped around Faith’s waist.

"Yes it is, it's forever."

They stood wrapped together, watching silently as the waves caught the last glimmers of the sun, the sparkle faint, but there. Faith’s hands lightly caressed along Buffy's forearms as she leaned back into the strength that surrounded her. Time seemed to have no real meaning, all that mattered was the closeness they shared, the rightness of where they were, and they both felt it and wanted it to last forever. When Buffy spoke again, her voice was soft, her words murmured into Faith's ear as if anything louder would ruin the tentative peace they had found.

“You keep pushing me away, trying to make some doom and gloom scenario come true, but I’m still right here with you, right where I always want to be. Don’t you see that? We’re so good together, but I can’t be a doormat for you, Faith. You’re never going to have proof, not until we’re still together as little old ladies. To make sure that happens, you have to give it your all and take a leap of…faith. I will always catch you, always.”

With a gentle kiss to Faith's neck, Buffy let go, and when Faith turned around, it was to see the woman she loved disappearing through the sliding glass doors. The sound of the waves drew her back to the ocean, but she found only darkness and solitude, the breeze no longer warm.

"Terrific. Just fucking terrific.”

She took a seat and noticed that Buffy had left an almost full bottle behind. With a toast to nothing, Faith took a grateful swig as she looked out at the dark water.

The whole situation was so fucked up, and Faith knew it was all on her. She was stuck in an old routine, following her lifelong habits, and playing the game the same old way when none of it made sense anymore. She could see where everything was headed, how she was forcing it to where it was going to end up, where it always ended up, but was that really what she wanted?

Because there was something new in the mix now, so simple and yet so big: Buffy was hers. Lock, stock, and barrel, and it made absolutely zero sense to keep putting that at risk. Besides, did she really want to be alone, living suspicious and afraid, always the biggest emotional pussy in every room? Did she really want to be the kind of idiot who never took her chances, never felt any gratitude even when she was being given a shot at something so perfect, something so clean and good that it could turn her whole life around?

Was she now so chicken shit that she would work harder at tossing something beautiful away rather than fighting tooth and nail to hang on to it? Could she really be someone who would rather spend a lifetime wishing from a distance, dreaming and fantasizing, while she refused to believe what her own heart was telling her was real and true?

Because Buffy was still right with her, completely in reach despite all of the ups and downs that had sometimes taken them down just as far as a person could go, and then had hurled them up into the stratosphere where the kind of life Faith had always yearned for was hers for the taking. Pure gold had been dropped into her lap with no one asking her to give it back.

What the hell was she doing?

Was she truly the nothing, nobody loser idiot her mother had always told her she was? Just the big waste of space she had for years and years been taught to see herself as? Was the world’s worst mother really some kind of predictor extraordinaire, the one who got the glory of chiseling Faith’s entire life in permanent Nostradamus stone? Was there any fucking way an abusive drunk should have the final say? Shouldn’t that come instead from Faith herself, a wicked hot, gutsy chick who was Boston born and bred, through and through?

She wasn’t a loser, hadn’t been in a long time, not unless she forced herself into the squarest peg hole ever carved. She was one of the good guys now, her peg fitting right where it belonged, solid and true in the space that was hers and hers alone to claim. Maybe she had taken forever to get there, maybe she had fucked up in the worst way possible, arriving covered in sins she could never fully atone for, but Faith had made it.

She could doubt that, she could act like a fool and get caught up in the ever present words and ramblings of a pathetic, mean woman who never got anywhere, never did anything worthwhile except give birth to a seven pound and some change, screaming, red-faced little ball of fire, her dark hair sticking up in defiant spikes as she hollered out her arrival to the world. Faith had come out fighting, throwing her tiny punches wildly through the air, instinctively knowing her whole life was going to be a battle.

It all seemed so clear to her now: the truth illuminated in a warm golden light, reflecting the real her back to herself as it pulled her away from the words and blows of a bitter, no good mother who could never manage to see past her own bleak existence to a life and world that could hold anything good. She swore everything was rotten, stagnant, hopeless, but that wasn’t true and Faith had the proof.

The people who loved her: The Watcher who willingly took on the role of father, a sane one this time, offering love and security, and wanting only the best for her. The one-eyed pal with balls of steel who was always there for her in whatever way she needed him to be. The Good Witch of the North who had danced on the wicked side of the West and understood how it was. The little sister who counted on her for anything with absolutely no doubt at all. The terrified boy who had grown into the man who told the heroic tales of The Dark Slayer to anyone who would listen, Hotpockets included.

And then there was The Slayer. She wanted Faith, respected her, trusted her, and most miraculously, Buffy Anne Summers loved her. Whole heartedly, tenaciously, a true miracle, and not the kind where somebody just walked on water. Buffy tap danced on the water, moonwalked, breakdanced, always skipping and twirling, laughing as she waltzed a salsa atop the waves, sinking nowhere in sight.

Faith’s choice was actually a simple one: A drug addicted mother who beat her only kid black and blue because it was all she could figure out to do between fixes, or the most heroic person the world had ever seen who offered only everything good and right?

Faith’s mother would never have believed that it could come down to this, not for herself and not for her daughter. Instead she handed down what she had been taught to believe in, and with that decision she kept that generational cycle turning. With each slap and punch, with every hateful word and beating, she proudly carried on her family’s legacy, delivering a crushing violence, a constant high grade negativity that pushed her daughter’s face in the dirt and then held it there. She taught her child exactly what she had had beaten down to her and what every kid who had come before her had learned to accept as fact: there was nothing good in any of them, no reason to believe that they would ever be worthy of respect or trust or love. They were a hopeless waste of space, and each and every one of them went with the program, never questioning those teachings…except for a squalling little ball of energy. Just seven pounds and some change.

Her mother was supposed to name her something basic – Debby, Cathy, Mary, Nancy, all perfectly fine names, but with no aspirations required. But then, inexplicably, someone broke ranks, went way off the rails, and how in the world did that happen? Was it a moment of clarity, a sense that here was the Chosen One who could stop it all in its tracks? Did the mother somehow sense that her baby girl was the one who had something deep inside that could make all the difference? A strength that she would use to make herself ready so that when her moment finally came, she would reach out with the courage her mother had felt for only one brief moment in her life, when her eyes had filled with tears as her baby girl, her whole life spread out before her, was placed in her arms, the arms of a woman whose life was already behind her.

A woman who looked on in awe at her screaming, fighting, defiant daughter announcing herself proudly to the world, and who perhaps recognized something from long ago, and reaching deep, opened her heart just as wide as she could, and gave all that she had to give – a signal, an instruction to never let go, to keep what was important, what was hers, safe and buried where no one could touch it until she could stand proud and strong, unafraid to reach out for something good.

Her name is Faith.

Yes it was, and it had to mean something. She could change, people did it all the time for far less reasons than the golden light beaming out of the blonde, beautiful, kind, tough, brave, funny, smart woman who loved her. She had been seeing her right in front of her, on and off for years, and Faith wanted her. It was time to make a decision – fight or flee, and when put like that, there was no choice at all.

She went inside looking for Buffy and found her in bed flipping through a magazine. Faith walked right up to her, on a mission, determined, even though she was just as scared as she had ever been.

“Okay, think you were just pissed before, but in case you meant it, I thought it over. Only ones I can say for sure are lines 4,5,7,10,11,16, and probably 23. Rest were bullshit or I can’t remember what I said, in which case figure’em for crap too.”

Buffy didn’t want to laugh, but it was funny and she did. Faith’s expression lightened for a moment, but instead of pouncing on Buffy’s weakness and using it to end the fight, Faith went right back to being all business.

“Here’s the deal, B, no bullshit. You probably already know most of this, but I wanna say it all together and official. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone. Nothing’s ever come close, not even in the ballpark. It’s you and it’s always gonna be you, and I’m so scared, I’m shaking in my boots. Probably somebody else’s too.”

“You don’t have to be scared, Faith. It’s just me.”

“Yeah, I know that, but I’m scared if I open up, if I let you in, you won’t like what you see and I’ll lose you. I’m also scared if I stay quiet, you’re gonna get sick of my shit and I’m gonna lose you. Got myself boxed in nice and good.”

Buffy swung her legs over to sit on the side of the bed:

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m in love with you.”

“And as fucking crazy great as that is, I don’t have a clue how to keep you. I don’t have a clue how to keep anything good, I never have. But I swear to God, B, I wanna learn, I wanna learn like ya wouldn’t believe, and so I was thinking…Maybe if I tried real hard to meet you halfway, you could maybe teach me the rest of the way. I mean, I always hear people in the movies and on TV talking about the halfway, so figure it’s gotta be at least a little real, right?”

Buffy smiled:

“Definitely based on a true story, F.”

“Okay, so I start pulling my weight and you show me the ropes ‘til I get the hang of it.”

Buffy tugged Faith closer:

“Did I ever mention I got an A+ in Rope Showing class?”

Faith’s smile was soft and shy:

“No, ya never did.”

“Well, I’m telling you now.”

 “And you promise ya really wanna, B? ‘Cause I know it’s a lot to ask and I…”

“I definitely want to, Faith. Slayer’s honor.”

They kissed, and then Faith stepped back.

“I thought maybe I should start by telling you where I come from and how it makes me act like I do. Maybe once we get that shit outta the way, I can tell ya where I wanna be and why.”

Buffy smiled and held up the covers:

“I hope we’re going there together.

Faith’s dimples deepened, and she kissed Buffy’s cheek before she slid in:

“Bet your ass we are, B. All the way.”

**********

Epilogue: One Year Later

“Faith, jump!”

Buffy was hanging onto the ledge, her legs dangling over the street twelve stories below as she looked at the woman she loved two stories above her.

“B, no way you can hold us both. My body weight will pull you loose.”

“No, it won’t. I’ve got a good grip and if I grab you, then you go for my body…”

“Mmm…Yeah, can definitely go for your body, any time, any...”

“Not the time for jokes, F.”

They both heard the barricaded roof access door bang open, the sound of yelling and footsteps rushing in their direction.

“We don’t have a choice!”

“Fuck!”

Faith jumped and Buffy caught her around the ankle as Faith shot past her in a headfirst dive. Faith had been right, she was pulling Buffy loose, but Buffy was right too and she held on, her ledge gripping hand sliding scarily along the concrete as her skin tore and left a smeared trail of blood behind. Faith instantly reached up and grabbed Buffy’s belt, then using her momentum, she quickly let go of everything as she swung up in an attempt to get her own grip on the ledge. She wasn’t going to make it, but before she could begin falling, Buffy’s hand grabbed the waistband of Faith’s pants and flung her just high enough and close enough to enable her to grab on.

They both hung there breathing heavily, counting their lucky stars as the vampires peered at them over the edge of the roof amazed by the Cirque du Slayer performance.

“Jesus, B, thanks for the Slayer wedgie.”

“You’re alive aren’t you?”

Faith grinned at her:

“Yeah, but with my jeans so far up my ass, I wish I was dead.”

“Well, if we’re not out of here soon, you’re going to get your wish.”

Faith began moving with Buffy right behind her:

“Let’s see what’s around this side.”

A couple of the vampires began climbing down to them, although the majority remained on the roof.

“Always gotta be a couple fuckers in every group.”

Buffy glanced back at their pursuers, then ignored them:

“Faith, see that pipe thingy?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s shimmy down that.”

“Damn, B, you’re gonna shimmy for me now?”

“Focus, please. Do you think it can hold us?”

Faith let go of the ledge and jumped onto the pole.

“Faith!”

“B!”

Buffy was furious:

“What if it hadn’t held you?”

Faith grinned:

“Was just takin’ a leap of faith. Knew you’d catch me.”

“And mocking special moments does not win you any points.”

“Since we’re probably gonna be dead soon, what’s it matter?”

Buffy looked back to see that not only were the two vampires closing in, others had begun to follow.

“Well, we’re running out of time here in every way.”

Faith looked down:

“Only goes about seven or eight floors.”

“Just go, we’ll figure it out when we get there.”

Buffy gave her a head start so they could spread out their weight to lessen the chance of pulling the pipe from the brick wall, but they climbed down recklessly as speed had become their main priority. The pipe ended four floors from the ground and the Slayers switched back over to the building’s ledge. The vampires couldn’t figure out how to advance as the pipe had pulled completely loose when the first vampire tried to use it. The fact that he was a huge, heavy specimen didn’t seem to register with him as a problem until he fell past them, screaming like Andrew all the way down.

Faith hollered out to him:

“Bye, Moose. See ya next fall!”

He landed next to a bunch of dumpsters, but it wasn’t the impact that killed him. It was a wooden crate that did the deed, splintering into a sharp point that hit him just right or wrong, depending on whose side you were on.

“Ideas, B?”

“We jump.”

“Yeah, was afraid of that.”

Buffy pointed:

“But we need to jump out that way and try to land in those big bushes.”

“Ya mean where the sprinklers are going?”

“Right, but don’t hit those.”

Faith laughed:

“Yeah, or the concrete circling the whole deal either.”

Buffy was busy calculating:

“No matter what happens, we’ve got to run as soon as we land. There can’t be more than a couple of minutes left, if we’re lucky.”

“Got it. Bones sticking out, still gotta motorvate.”

Buffy was ready:

“Okay, I’m jumping first.”

“Why?”

“Because I land better and you always hit like a ton of bricks.”

“Bullshit!”

“Head Slayer’s call, and I called it. File a report.”

Faith wasn’t happy, but there was no time to argue:

“Go get’em, Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.”

Buffy laughed:

“I love you, Dark One.”

Faith’s obscenity was lost in the wind as Buffy had already jumped. She landed on and in the bushes, and she felt her ankle roll. She followed it, trying to get clear quickly because she wanted to take out as many as she could if there was an ambush waiting. Creating new scratches in her haste, the pain from her ankle roaring through her body, Buffy escaped what she later found out were giant azalea bushes, and she stood agonizingly at the ready to fight for their lives

No one was there, apparently the word hadn’t gotten out yet, and as Buffy turned to yell up to Faith that there was no danger, Ms. Ton of Bricks crashed down in her usual fashion. Buffy didn’t have to ask if she was okay, the constant stream of obscenities spewing from Faith’s mouth was quite informative She moved fast although she was crawling, her cracked ribs and dislocated shoulder making things difficult for her. She came out swinging her good arm and Buffy laughed as she grabbed her hand.

“Just me, F. Let’s move.”

Dislocated shoulders, messed up ribs, an ankle already swollen to twice its normal size, none of it mattered. Clinging to each other, leaning, dragging, pulling, swearing, yelling from the pain, they kept moving away from the building, ending up somersaulting when it exploded behind them.

Faith had always imagined they be doing the cool movie walkaway, slo-mo, lighting a cigarette and tossing the match over her shoulder, holding hands with B, offering her a drag as a yellow, red, orange wall of flames exploded behind them, big enough to fill the entire screen. Instead reality had her body blown forward hard enough to hurt, although the good news there was that Buffy came right with her. They somersaulted – once in the air and then a couple or three times more when they hit the ground.

When Faith finally came to a stop, her eyes sought out Buffy. She was moving, slowly, but she was alive. Faith counted and saw two legs and feet, same with Buffy’s hands and arms, and a quick inventory told Faith she herself was also still in one painful piece. Buffy was streaked with soot, grime and blood, and she was sporting a wicked crazy, hot wind blasted hairdo, and Faith knew it was probably like looking in a mirror. They were both on their backs and when their eyes met, Buffy smiled or maybe grimaced, her teeth startling white as they fought to shine through the mess on her face:

“So, that wasn’t so hard, F.”

“Nah, piece a cake, B.”

They were mostly unmoving, trying to assess the extent of the damage while minimizing the pain. There was no imminent danger, the building was rubble and even if a vampire had somehow survived the blast, they wouldn’t be getting free and clear any time soon.

Buffy began gingerly patting herself down, but she had no luck.

“Faith, do you still have your phone?”

It took almost a minute, but she eventually freed it from her back pocket, wincing and whimpering with the pain. She still managed to get a mostly normal looking smirk on her face when she pulled it free.

“Some Head Slayer you are. Can’t even hang on to your…”

She was interrupted by the pieces of her crushed to bits phone raining down on her.

“Wow, F, I guess you showed me.”

Faith flung the biggest tiny piece left in her hand at the debris pile of what used to be: Vampire Central, the Charlotte Branch, hurting herself with the motion.

“Ow! Fucking piece of shit can’t even handle some action. So what, we just lay here all night ‘til somebody notices we’re MIA?”

“Now see, this is why you need to pay attention at the briefings.”

“B, you do the homework, I’ll copy yours.”

Buffy was trying to move her ankle, but she couldn’t. That didn’t mean it was broken though, neither did the intense pain she was trying to block out.

“Will’s doing her mindreading thing as we speak and bleed and hurt. She says they’re five minutes away.”

It was three minutes, but who was counting, except for Buffy and Faith who couldn’t have been happier to see the cavalry arrive. Nearly being blown to kingdom come hurt like hell, but Willow’s skill combined with modern medicine brought their pain level down to tolerable. Add in Xander’s judicious use of ice, and they were comfortable enough as they got strapped into their bunks on opposite sides of the van, a situation that Faith was not at all pleased with.

“What the hell kinda reward is this? Me and B almost get killed fifty times and you split us up like the bad kids in class?”

Buffy was snug in her bunk, already almost asleep. She loved drifting off to the sound of Faith talking, and then she heard Willow answering her:

“And while we appreciate what you guys went through, we’re in a van in North Carolina with a long ride ahead of us.”

“Yeah, I know where we are. Just teleport me and B back home.”

Xander spoke up:

“Wow, Faith, you really need to start paying attention to the brief…”

“Shut up, Cyclops!”

Willow’s soothing voice once again explained the situation patiently:

“Faith, I don’t have enough magic left to teleport a flea after all the mission stuff and major healing I had to do. So why not just snuggle in and get some sleep?”

Buffy smiled when she heard Faith’s response:

“Because I’m not tired and I wanna snuggle with B.”

“Well she’s already sleeping like a good Slayer.”

“She gonna get a cookie or a gold star?”

Willow decided to go all chipper:

“Hey, I know! Let’s check in a few hours after your Slayer healing’s had a chance to do its thing, okay? You just rest for now, it’ll make you feel better.”

They saw her struggling to unstrap herself with her good arm:

“No, what’ll make me feel better is…”

She was sound asleep, already snoring, and Xander did a double take:

“Uh, okay, what just happened?”

“I had just enough magic left to speed up her pain pills.”

Xander whistled low under his breath:

“She’s not going to like that when she wakes up, but her and the Buffster definitely need the rest.”

Willow got up and tightened the strap Faith had loosened.

“Right? She just gets so pigheaded sometimes, especially when it involves Buffy.”

She pulled the dividing curtain closed to block out the light and got back in her co-pilot seat.

“She can be mad all she wants, but I’m not going to just sit here and let her hurt herself.”

“Unless you’re out of magic.”

“Unless I’m out of magic. That goes without saying.”

Xander started the van and requested some Oreos.

“Xander, we’re not even on the highway yet.”

“And without sustenance of the delicious cookie kind, it’s possible we may never be.”

Buffy had never fallen completely asleep, and she heard every word as she floated along pleasantly drowsy with her favorite person of the hour – Morphine. She was also pleasantly grateful that they had managed to escape alive because while they took most things in stride, this last mission had had way too many close calls for both of them. But close didn’t count except in horseshoes and shavin’ them delicate parts, according to Faith, and they had lived to tell the tale, even if they were a little worse for wear. But that was merely a minor inconvenience, and Buffy offered up a silent and heartfelt thanks that it hadn’t been worse.

She lifted her head slightly to look over at Faith, but all she thought she might be seeing in the darkness was a mass of thick, slightly wavy, brown hair. She also heard the snoring, a sound she would know anywhere and one that she loved wholeheartedly, which was of course ridiculous, but true. Over the past year, she had grown to love Faith even more than she had before, a fact that Buffy never would have believed was possible until it happened.

Things had changed between them, all starting that night in The Bahamas. Faith hadn’t been kidding when she said she wanted to meet Buffy halfway. Yes she was scared, Buffy could see that she was and Faith had outright admitted it, but it didn’t stop her from heading full steam into the unknown. She wanted to be happy, she wanted Buffy, and so she took the leap then and there.

It took a long time to get it all out, but horrible childhood secrets were told, a life on the streets was explained, a descent into evil was itemized, and the return to sanity was detailed, all of it leading to the unburdening of a weight that had been backbreakingly carried alone for years. Bit by bit the past was exposed, brought out into a golden light that swore no allegiance to it and had no fear. Faith’s past could not withstand the brightness and it had finally withered and died. It was mourned by no one.

A new trust grew between Buffy and Faith, and it infused everything. Buffy, not exactly a woman known for sharing her innermost feelings easily, did not hesitate to confide in Faith, sometimes leading by example and at other times simply following in Faith’s footsteps. They hid nothing, as close to being open books as two people could be.

There were of course, still problems, and Faith learned that despite making every effort, there were still some things she could not change. Buffy assured her it didn’t matter:

“Faith, I love you, any way you come...and do not say what you’re thinking. I just wanted you to let me inside…and still do not say what you’re thinking. You’ve done that so perfectly, I don’t care about a few bugs here and there. And by bugs I mean glitches because I am not okay with bugs being…”

Faith had simply kissed her quiet, because sometimes with Buffy, that was what it took.

Buffy unbuckled quietly, then gingerly limped the few steps across the van, trying her best not to fall through the curtain and scare the living crap out of everyone. Her ankle was no longer broken, but it was still sore and not enjoying having any weight put on it, so when Buffy arrived at her destination undetected, she balanced awkwardly on one leg. She unbuckled Faith, then carefully avoided her sore ribs and shoulder as she climbed in next to her.

There was just enough room and the smell of smoke was thicker with them together, but Buffy didn’t care. She already felt much better and Faith nuzzled right into her, still sound asleep:

“B…”

Buffy kissed the top of Faith’s head and smiled, her drowsiness finally deepening. She was asleep in seconds, swaying gently with her friends at the wheel and on the alert, squeezed in tight with the woman she loved.

Freeze frame.

The End