First on base

Okay, so B's been all loved up by a slayer. Yeah, I got it. Hear ya loud and clear. Do I care, well hell yeah, I do. You know sometimes we just want that shit all to ourselves, ya know.

And I know that you do.

You get me.

You feel me.

You know where I'm coming from. And it's not like I've kept my goodies away from other slayers. I mean seriously, there've been a few that were just too hot to let go of. Lana, Cuban cutie, made my eyes cross when she whispered Spanish in my ear. Veronica, a Kristen Bell lookalike. She had me sighing and moaning and working it disco style and vertically at that. Whew, would love to dance with her again, soon. Now don't tell anyone this, but I've been with Ken-doll several times. We always get on good and when she's single, well we play and we play hard. We go like 18 rounds of rock-em sock-em we just leave the robot part out of it. We're very bendy, we two are. And adventurous. Cough! Yeah I said it. You get the gist.

And I have to admit that Satsu's an okay chick but she's been rubbing me the wrong way. For some reason she wants to just rub my face in the fact that she's been doing B and it's really getting under my friggin skin.

Now I'm not so sure what's got her shit in a bunch all of a sudden cause I heard from Ken the other night while we were wrestling, that B told her she wasn't interested in more than a casual encounter or two and I can't help but wonder why. I mean, Sats cute, Asian, got a little petite thing going on for her and you know when girls are that short, well lemme just say that when you start in the middle you don't have far to go, so height wise, they're almost center mass. Cough!

So why's she coming at me all a sudden. I mean, aside from Ken-doll I've not been regular... and I'll be honest about something else. If Willow wasn't all loved up on that other witch Calliope, well I wouldn't be chancing anything by being with Ken. Cause a mad Red is a one way ticket to growing a dick overnight.

Oh I said dick... flashback. You gotta hear this. Me and Ken were heading thru Missouri and we saw this sign. 'Big Dicks Halfway Inn', ya, we had to go... well after we skidded to a stop and took photo ops of us pointing at the sign.... So yeah we went. It was a friggin inn... like a hotel. And Boy was dick big... like 400 lbs big... I doubt he could even find his dick. But we sent out a shitload of postcards and bought the t shirts and we make sure when one of us is wearing one the other follows suit. We're just fun like that. Makes G turn all kindsa red and stuttery.

OOH another flashback. The next state up, on our way to Ohio, we passed, get this. 'The Bibb Erection Company', I shit you not... big sign out front and a line of guys outside the door... another photo op. We sent that shit into Ellen... made our friggin day when she showed it on the tube.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, Satsu kept coming at me, making these comments. I guess grapevine goes both ways, ya know.... so she knew I'd kinda always wanted B. So she was getting her digs in, by letting me know that she'd got there first.

Only, it kinda made me laugh. It pissed me off that she kept coming at me, but it was funny you know. Yeah, so she was doing probably the only girl I ever really loved. And that always burns, although, truth be told, I could love Ken, Ronnie or Lana, cause we had the chemistry and those were who I always returned to, call it comfort or whatever. But B, she always had a way of making my heart ache just a bit, and we were volatile, like a coke with a candy mentos thrown in, but passion makes the best for loving.

So Sats 'I got there first' thing was falling on one pissed off woman here, notice I didn't say girl, cause its been years since I've been a girl, still, I kinda wanted to shut her up and get her off my case.

Cue Intro to shut her the hell up phase.

Yeah, I'm not so smart at times. And sometimes I write checks that my ass can't cash but nevertheless, I had face to save. So yeah I included my 'friends with benefits', Lana, Ronnie and Ken. It was on like Donkey Kong.

That's right you heard me. I was gonna take Sats down a couple of pegs. It was gonna piss B off, probably Red, Xan and Dawn too. But what's a girl to do. Sometimes you just gotta go down fighting.

*

So here's the sitch and here's how it's going down. It's my birthday. That's right and I'm gonna let KennyD pants me at the party, but she's only gonna do it when Sats starts sniffin around, trying to rub my nose in stuff.

Why's that gonna matter. Hold on... lemme get to that.

So we're at my birthday party. It's rocking and rolling, got the lights flashing, the music blasting and I'm all good to go. Got my Columbia hiking pants on, and I'm talking low riders here, very low riders, my climbing bra, black with metal rings holding it together, and its showing underneath my white and gray speckled matching button up shirt, that's not so buttoned up. It's short so it's not gonna hide anything that's on show, that's for sure. Even got my MOABS on my feet, thick soled, grippy little bastards that can rip the skin off a demons face, believe it or not. Hell if they'll hold you on a mountain, they'll hold onto a little skin, just saying.

So I'm looking good, fierce. Red's all loved up with Calliope, so me and Ken are good to go. It's not like we're a secret. As a matter of fact, and this isn't public knowledge, me, Ken, Lana and Ronnie are all good to go, you get my drift?

So we're sitting at our table, toasting, sharing cake and sure enough, Satsu saunters over, and of course she's gonna make a dig about planting a flag first. And sure enough, she tells me 'happy birthday', raises her glass and says something akin to, ' next trip you guys take, be sure to plant a flag, let someone know you got their first'.

And that's when it happened I stood up and ken ripped my pants down and put me over her lap, with force I might add, had to make it look good. And I'm wearing a thong, cause it matches my climbing bra. She starts giving me my birthday licks. Well, you know what I mean, the other licks will come later and I'll be way more appreciative. Everybody's looking at my turned up ass... and I mean everybody!

I see Sats eyes buldge outta her head, and her temper roaring to the forefront. And I just have to say. “Nah Sat, we're slayers, we don't plant flags, we plant stakes.” I arch into Kens slaps, sighing as she gives me what for. I look back at Satsu, who's still pissed and add, “If you were really getting to see anything good, you'd see my signs.” I winked so she'd get the gist.

I smiled as Ken started rubbing over my ass, cooling it down from her onslaught. She gave me one to grow on a bit harder than the rest and I cut my eyes at her, glaring, letting her know her ass was gonna me mine later. Bitch had the nerve to smirk at me.

“It work?” I whispered.

Ken laughed, nodding her head. “You are so in for it.”

Okay so what's so great about my ass? I'm gonna tell you. While everybody was all stunned and shocked as shit to see me getting my ass spanked and even more so, that I was letting Ken pat my ass and I was happy about it. Here's why. There's this tattoo on my ass. Looks like my ass was ran through with a stake. What I drew on that window pane all those years ago, that heart with the stake through it, well when we switched bodies, B thought she'd be a little mean, so she tattooed my ass with a heart with a stake through it, her initial B on the butt end of the stake, the words, 'B was here.' in script underneath. So, yeah, Sat got an eyeful and so did everyone else at the party.

Hard to believe, huh? I mean little miss tightly wound, tattooed my butt, my body with something that no one else could ever touch. I mean come on; a heart with a stake through it, with her initial on the stake, on my body. My body! She marked my butt that's what she did, even with her hating me and wanting to kill me... I was still hers.

Everybody, and I mean everybody after seeing my ass, turned and looked at her and she looked at me and turned and walked off, with Sats following after her like a dog and you could hear them.

'Do you have something on you that you don't want me to see?' Silence, crickets, really.

'And in the dark? Always?' Again, silence, again with the crickets.

And on and on, all the way away from everybody.

And why's this so relevant you ask?

Well, so yeah, B marked me and what you might not know, during that body swap thing, well I did things, you know I did, and don't judge me cause you'd of done them too.

And you know you would've.

So I did, all those things and I mean all those things.

I also marked her so she'd always remember me, would always be mine. And how pray-tell did I do that. Well, unbeknownst to B while she was marking my body up for me to always remember her, I was having her sweet booty marked up so she'd always remember me. And on her ass, were life size hand prints, two of them side by side, both thumbs meeting just to the side of her crack, one on each cheek, and I mean life size, complete with life lines and fingerprints. A big number 5 in the center of each palm with the word by in cursive between the hands.

She couldn't ever cover that shit up if she wanted to. It was too big, too dark and perfect. And I bet Sats had never gotten to see her ass, wonder if she would now. And even if she did, there was another surprise waiting for her in the starkness of daylight and well lighting.

And what you might ask is the final icing on the cake.

I'm gonna tell you but you'll have to feign ignorance when the shit finally hits the fan.

You ready for this?

It's bad... really bad.

It's not the only tat I had put on her. That's right I said it, even more I did it. Will probably die for it, we'll have to wait and see.

Okay, this is it. My friends know, they're high fiving me, clinking beer bottles and I have to roll my eyes. Did I want to do this? No, well, okay maybe.

I'm pretty sure Sats right now is getting her eyes full of my hands on B's ass. But can you imagine, what's gonna happen when she spreads her folds in the light and reads, 'Faith Lehane, established 2000' ? She's gonna shit, right?

So me and my girls are sitting up on our balcony and we hear all kinds cussing down below. So of course we watch as Satsu hauls her bags and heads off into the single blue yonder. She cusses in Japanese and that just makes us laugh louder. She turns and flips us off and oh my God, we nearly bust our guts.

I stand up and holler at her. “Don't tell me who got there first! I established that shit!” Of course I'm making hand signs, hoping to reiterate the fact with my fingers.

“Word.” I clinked my beer with my girls.

So tomorrow I might be beaten to death but tonight, the world is good and going my way. Hail to the Tat and to the gal that lived to tell the tale.

“Word?” We burst out laughing.