Zombeaver

You know, something just felt off about today. Seriously, all day. Yesterday things were just kind of stressed, you know.. I mean... everybody was all tense for no reason. It was as if something was in the air. Then first thing today... well it's like eerily quiet. Inside the house was okay... there was the usual background sounds, radio, television... but right when I went outside and closed the door. Nothing, nada, not a peep, no birds, no crickets, just the usual sounds of cars passing.

I've had the creeps all day. Everyone must've had them too, cause they were all really quiet. Even Faith, who's usually kind of up in your face, and not so much with words but with her personality. She's quiet and hiding behind a book.... so that's got to be a sign of an impending apocalypse right? Faith? Quiet?

And Giles, well he's not really cleaning his glasses so much as just kind of chewing on the ear piece. All I can manage is to look around and think about what's not being said or happening, when suddenly I do finally hear Giles voice. “And you be sure to use each other as back up tonight.”

I sat up straighter and shot a glance over to Faith, whose face prolly pretty much mirrored mine. You know the face, that WTF just happened face. We both nodded, assuring that we'd have backup and carried on.

After Giles called the meeting, I tried to talk to Faith, who was intent on just ignoring me. She rolled her eyes and tried to walk away from me. I really don't like that, you know? So I grabbed her and spun her around to face me.

“What's your defect?” She rasped out.

“Huh?” I looked at her in disbelief. “What's wrong with you?” I asked.

Her face kind of scrunched up and she looked at me as if I had two heads. “What's wrong with me?” She asked. She hesitated just a bit. “You're what's wrong with me.” She went to turn away from me and like I said before, I really don't like that.... so I grabbed her again.

“Wuss.” I shot out, pointedly daring her to open up. I raised my eyebrows in defiance.

“Okay.... you wanna know what's up with me, I'll tell ya. I...” She pointed to her chest. “Asked you to the homecoming dance.” She pointed at me, her finger digging into my chest. “And you said yes.” She pulled in another breath. “And yeah I pretended that we'd use and lose a couple of studs but I just wanted to go out with you.... I was tired of all that innuendo between us.” She breathed in and out. “And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.” I lowered my eyes, cause I knew, I was guilty of it. She thumbed over towards the gang. “Your friends hijacked our date and the limo that took me three weeks to save up enough money for.” She glanced over at them and faced me again. “I spent all that money on a dress and tried really hard to look respectful for you, not like some kind of trashy slut bomb that your friends like to call me behind my back. And... and when you finally show up you don't even pay me any attention other than to mumble hi to me, even after I got even with Scott for you and made myself look like a total skank in doing so. You're wearing the corsage that I got for you but do you even say thank you or wow, you look nice, no... you dump me and run off to be with something that's not even alive.”

I didn't know what to say, I could only stand in front of her and look at her. Finally she threw her hands up in the air, turned and stomped off.

This time I let her go. Yeah, okay, I was gonna have to eventually talk to her, straighten out this mess that we both...I repeat, BOTH of us had made. I was just as guilty but I wasn't gonna try to fix it, at least not right this minute.

I looked over and saw the gang staring at me and whoops, busted. I tried to play it casually, well not really, “Oh darn.” I stated, snapping my fingers. “I gotta go.” And I tucked tail and left as fast as I could. Ignoring their calls.

Yeah I might be the slayer, well a slayer and yeah I might kill vamps and demons but when it came to Faith, I was the biggest coward ever.

Okay, after a bit of walking around feeling all dejected I decided to head over to Faith's. I figured I could at least salvage something out of this mess. Imagine my surprise when some strange girl opened up the door to her motel room. “Uh.. is Faith here?” I asked, to which the strange girl replied. “No.” And then that bitch closed the door in my face.

I rapped on the door again, and not too kindly. Finally that bitch opened the door. “What do you want?” She asked.

“Who are you?” I asked a bit flippantly. “I'm her friend.” The bitch replied and then added. “And you must not be if you don't know where she is.” And then she slammed the door in my face again.

The fucking nerve of that girl and she's in Faith's room, wearing Faith's shirt and sitting on her bed, watching her TV, eating her food and what the hell is happening?

I used my slaydar and sought out Faith and bitch was telling the truth, she wasn't there. I reached out further, hunting and finally felt a small tug, so I walked towards it and after a while I ended up down at the docks. I searched and finally found Faith, although I watched her from afar. She was working at the loading docks. I never for one minute, ever, wondered how she was affording that run down room much less food.

When she finally got a break and was sitting down I walked over. “Hi.” I whispered. She turned around quickly and looked at me. She breathed out heavily, looking completely beat.

“So listen.” I stated, moving in a bit closer. “I went to your room and found...” I waited for her to fill in the blank. She finally took pity on me.

“She's Diana's charge, like I was... she came to visit me. We had the same upbringing. She's only staying the weekend. I'll still be working and slaying.” She sighed. “And no, there's nothing illicit going on.”

I breathed out a relieved breath that didn't go unnoticed. “So.. about patrolling... how bout you and I meet up later... a second date if you will, and a better one at that... and afterwards I'll get us a pizza and drinks and we can go hang out with your friend?”

She stood up, her hands sliding into her back pockets to keep them from fidgeting. “Really?” She asked.

“Yeah.” I said causing her to smile, her dimples coming to life.

“Okay, I'll meet you at Restfield about 9:00?” I asked.

She nodded. “I might be a few minutes before of after. Wanna get back, wash off a bit before patrol.”

I nodded and watched as she turned and went back to work. She glanced back at me again, waving, her smile still bright. I smiled back, waved and turned, making my way back into town.

I was so glad to get back into town. Oh, I'd forgotten all about Angel. Oh man, I wasn't gonna make that mistake again. He was grown, surely he'd be okay without me checking on him one evening. I ransacked my closet. I wanted to look good tonight. I mean, so this wasn't a dance but it was a chance and granted I might not have realized that the dance was a date, but now that I knew, well I was kind of giddy about it. Let's face it: Angel was dead, we were never gonna grow old together. Faith, she was alive and boy did just looking at her make me feel all hot and alive myself.

And her lips. Oh. My. God. I'd had dreams about those lips.

I finally had an outfit picked out. Now all I had to do was soak in a tub, pamper myself and make myself look, smell and feel like a million bucks. Oh yeah, she was gonna be in so much trouble. I was actually anticipating being close and smelling her perfume, touching her hand and most importantly, I couldn't wait to feel those lips against mine.

Tonight was gonna be amazing!

I got to the cemetery just a few minutes before 9, I adjusted my clothing and looked around. I heard something off in the distance. I had to roll my eyes, cause I wanted to wait here so I'd still be looking good when Faith arrived but the slayer just had to have her way, as always.

I went deeper into the cemetery.

I stopped about 70 yards in, watching as this tall man just stood there. He was dressed nicely. He didn't feel like a vampire so I casually strode closer. I stopped about 10 feet from him. “Hi.” I stated. “You alright? Lost maybe?” I asked.

He turned his gaze on me, fully focused. I gulped, not liking the way he was looking at me.

His pants bulged outward at the groin. I looked down at it and back to him. “Uh, sorry I don't think so.”

The bulge moved. Seriously, I'm not kidding, it freaking moved and was moving around inside of his pants. I know I should have run but I was frozen watching it. I'd never seen anything like that before.

Suddenly, a snake like thing burst forth from his pants. It launched itself at me, all snap happy. Seriously, the thing had a huge mouth, full of teeth and it was still attached to his body. I ducked right, left, stepped back quickly as the thing snapped at my face.

I heard him grunt. And of course I looked up at him and the snake made another go for me. I grabbed a hold of the thing, pulling and fighting against it as it tried to recoil and attack.

“What the fuck!” I heard Faith yell off to the side of me.

“Seriously!” She scoffed. “First Angel and now this fuck wad?” She shouted in disbelief.

“Faith!” I hollered. “Would you grab hold and help me?”

“What?” She hollered back. “You want me to help you do....” She hesitated, before adding. “That?”

She turned and started stomping away from me. “Jerk him off yourself.”

“Faith!”

“Faith!” I tried again but it was no use, she was gone. If I were honest it did look bad but still. I grabbed my stake and rammed it though the... snake thing and pinned it to the ground. I grabbed for another stake and rammed it through the guys chest.

I kind of waited for the guy to dust but he just lay there... dead, his thing still all snaky and hanging out. “Hmmm that's new.” I said to myself. I kicked open a vault door and pulled the guy inside, followed by the thing. “Nobody's gonna believe this.” I muttered, pulling the vault door closed and heading back into town.

“Oh geeze, there's no way Faith is gonna buy this after the way I left her to be with Angel.” I blew out a breath, walking dejectedly home.

The next morning came early. I walked into the library as usual. The gang was already sitting around the table, Faith again off to the side, hidden behind a newspaper.

I told and retold my tale of the guy with the snake in his pants. Xander and Wills thought it was hilarious, Giles too that old pervert.

“Ahem.” Giles cleared his throat. “There were reports of two beings.” He stated. “Did you see the other one?” He asked.

“No.” I shook my head, accentuating my point.

Giles blew out a harsh breath. “That is why it was imperative that you and Faith patrol together. I expressly told you this yesterday before you two decided to do whatever it is that you decided to do.”

I looked down at the floor before glancing over to Faith who was still hidden behind the paper.

“Giles.” I got his attention. “Do you think that the other was male? I mean could it have been a female with the same kind of problem? We could have young to worry about as well.”

Xander piped up. “Oh yeah.... Buff.... you mean like instead of a penis snake it could be some kind of thing like.... a zombeaver.” Willow spit out her drink and Xan just laughed.

“A... zom... beaver?” I asked.

“It's possible.” Faith stated, lowering her newspaper, revealing an ugly bite mark around her face, complete with scratches.

She nodded her head, as if in agreement with Xander; Giles already cleaning his glasses.

“It's totally possible.”