Snakes? Did you say snakes?

Spoilers: Yes if you read the comics & haven't gotten past Willow Wonderland then don't read this, otherwise, don't be mad :)  I have a strange sense of humor, so take it with a grain of salt.

1.

“Uhm...What?”

I scrunched up my face and cracked my neck, took another swig of my apple ale and trained my eyes on Kennedy, who was sitting next to me. “Run that past me again.”

“A snake woman.” She deadpanned.

“Like a slithering serpent?” I asked, my head starting to hurt.

“Well, yeah, only it kind of raised up and had arms but no legs. I think they call them Naga's or something.” She offered, adding. “But it's still a fucking snake.”

“Medusa like?” I asked, disbelieving.

I turned my head and glanced at B, who was sitting across from me, keeping extremely quiet. She focused her eyes on the table top and took another swig of her beverage.

“A snake woman?” I asked again, not believing it.

“Yes! For God's sake, what don't you get?” Kennedy all but yelled.

“Well, what I don't get is.... How the fuck do you... fuck a snake?” I snapped back, my hand automatically rubbing at my temples and around my neck. A huge headache was fast approaching.

“Exactly!” Kennedy stated, nodding her head.

Buffy snorted and coughed some drink through her nose. Kennedy turned on her. “Don't you say nothing, you who fuck dead things.”

Buffy raised her hands in supplication and backed away a bit, her eyes still glued to the tabletop.

Kennedy took a long pull, finishing off her beer. “What the hell? Right?” She blew out an exasperated breath. “I mean, really, what the hell could she get out of it, right?”

I sat my ale down, thinking about it. “Maybe.... it had something to do with that forked tongue?”

Buffy coughed up her drink again and I bit down hard trying to suppress my own laughter.

“Fuck you.” Ken stated, angry. “Fuck you both!”

“Hey.” I tried to reason. “I don't really know what to say here, cut me some slack. I mean, I'm in shock, What else do you want?”

“How bout some helpful reasoning?” Kennedy returned.

I blew out a breath and looked over at B, who looked at the table again, puss. “I don't know K. I really don't.” I pulled in a draw of beer. “Maybe it's got something to do with that motion snakes make when they crawl. Maybe it's that, 'Thh thh thh thh' sound snakes make with their tongue or rattler and now we're back to the forked tongue.” I paused just a sec. “Probably the tongue thing, I mean both sides at once, gotta be something to that.”

“Ow.” I rubbed my shin from where B kicked me under the table. I glared at her briefly.

I turned in the booth and faced Ken dead on. “I really have no clue.” I sighed. “But I'm sorry. I know it hurts.” I reached over and squeezed Ken's shoulder.

I stared at the table and picked the label of my beer, peeling it slowly to avoid thinking anything that might make it's way across my brain and out my mouth.

I breathed out heavily and turned facing Ken. “I really am sorry... I know how it feels to be dumped for something not human.”

The quietness enveloped the table we were sat at. “I know.” Ken offered, voice solemn.

She pulled in a deep breath and pushed herself up from the table. “I know you've got business with her so I'm gonna go.” I smiled up at her, nodding. “Stop by later?” She asked.

“Yeah, sure.” I offered before she turned and left me alone at the table with B, which in all honesty, wasn't all that good of a thing.

I pulled in another gulp of beer and waited, and it appeared I'd be waiting a very long time. Finally, she spoke. “So, you were dumped for something otherworldly?” She asked.

“Pretty much.” I stated, my voice ending that trail of questioning right then and there.

I sat my beer down harder than I intended, inwardly cringing at my actions. “Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.” She nodded at me. I continued. “So, what do you want?” I asked.

She breathed outward. “So you've been having the dreams?” She looked up at me.

I nodded. “Yeah, I just didn't want K to know. Anyone else?” I asked.

She nodded no. “Just you and me from what I can find out.”

I blew out a breath. “Not even your girl, surely she has some sort of connection to Red to get the dreams.”

“She's not my girl Faith.” She pinched her nose and breathed out heavily. “It was just a couple of times.”

I laughed. “Wasn't dead enough for ya?” I joked.

“Did you fly all this way to fight?” Buffy shot back.

I looked at her flatly, eyes and body void of emotion. “Looks like.”

She sat straight, eyes glaring. “Why does it bother you so much?”

I scrunched up my features, leaning forward. “You know why it bothers me so fucking much. You're not the bleach blonde dimwit you like to pretend to be. You know what you're doing, twisting that knife just a bit more each time, always letting me know that I'm not good enough, wasn't ever good enough.”

“I at least thought we were friends.” She all but whispered.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh please... we were never friends. We were something but friends wasn't it.” I glared at her. “Quit pretending like you never set me up for a fall. You gave me the string treatment then acted all innocent when it finally broke.”

She stared down at the tabletop. “Don't act all innocent now. I'm sure your girl is head over moon and I'm sure you like it and I'm sure you gave her the treatment as well, only you probably didn't dump her for a dead guy, you probably never threw her a guy to stake or called her a murderer, bitch, psychopath or trash after the fact either.” I wiped a tear. “I might love you but I don't like you very much.” I stated more to myself. Both of us sat stock still, knocked off kilter by the force of my confession.

She shook off her stupor. “You owe me.” She whispered. I looked up at her. “I owe you?” I hesitated. “I went to jail for years Buffy. As a matter of fact I remember leaving jail a few times just to help you and then going back. I gave up my powers for you and lets be honest here, I didn't think you'd give them back. I jumped into a pit to save Dawn and Xander. I showed up when slayer central wanted you dead and I had your back. I cleaned up your mess after your crap got Giles killed and here I am again, to help you and your friends.” I looked at her hard. “You didn't have to go to jail for your part in killing finch. You got away with gutting me and if we're totally honest here, you and your whole group of friends have pretty much all gotten away with their murders, everyone except me. Funny how you can justify all your indiscretions but mine, I have to pay for each and every one.”

“I owe you nothing. I'm here because I know I did you wrong, nothing more, nothing less but I'm about ready to walk away from you just like I did Angel because the cost of being around you is too high.”

“You're here because you care.” She cantered.

I nodded. “More than I should and it's obvious that I shouldn't.”

“Uhmmm.” A voice cleared, breaking us out of our reunion. “Hi, guys, sorry to interrupt but it didn't really seem like it was going anywhere good.” She smiled. “Plus you guys know you could just sex that all away, right?”

Laughing, I got up and moved toward her, ignoring her last comment. “Red.” I smiled. “It's good to see ya.” We gave each other a hug and sat down. She turned and embraced B, sitting next to her.

“So is this some kind of intervention or what?” Willow spoke up, looking at each of us in turn.

I smiled. “Exactly what it is Red.” I reached over and put my hand over hers. “Are you okay?” I asked, nodding as she told me she was. I patted her hand. “I'm not gonna beat around the bush, okay?” I asked. She nodded and looked at me.

“I've been having dreams about you and your new.... friend.” I pulled in a breath, thinking and blew it out slowly before looking back at Will. “I've been dreaming that you're under a spell, you don't realize it, but you're under one and you're slowly changing and the culmination is going to end up black and veiny. Bottom line is you're being played and you're not gonna realize it until it's too late. It's the power you possess, they want it and they're taking it little by little and just by feeling you, your aura, you're already changing, not as... potent.”

“I don't think... that'll never happen.” Will returned.

I shrugged. “Hope not Red.” I sighed. “Seen it all play out in a dream. You all wicked witch of the west. You kill off all those close to you, the scoobs, their spouses, their kids and then you just fold up the world we live in and crush it like a can. When you finally come to, you're all alone and you crumble because you're burnt like toast. The snakes slither away cause they can live in a wasteland, they're gonna die without it.”

“I'm not being played Faith.” Willow's voice sounded hollow.

“Hope not.” I half smiled at her. “Just the dreams aren't stopping and I can't sleep anymore and to be honest, I'm worried about you.” I pulled another drink from my bottle. “They're in your head, wrapped around you, inside you. I know it probably feels good, all that out of body stuff but there's a price you pay for everything, I learned the hard way.”

Willow started to interrupt. I held up a hand stopping her. “Please let me finish. Will... you dumped Kennedy for a snake, a friggin snake... and I know I'm not one to judge but that's not normal, I really don't want the world to end like my dreams keep telling me it is but more than that I don't want to see you destroy yourself, much less all the people I've come to care about. I've never had a family, never... and you, Ken, Giles, Xan, Dawn and hell even B there, as annoying as she is, well you guys are all the family I've ever had and I don't want to lose any of them, even ass over there.”

Buffy raised her eyes up and looked at me for a few seconds. I blinked and looked back to Will. “I just want you to know, that I love you... I haven't always shown care and concern for you, and when I was young I was an idiot but over time, I can say that you've had my back and I've had yours and I've come to care about you and I don't want you hurt by anything or anybody.” I pulled in another breath. “If you're happy then fine and dandy but if something's wrong, no matter what, I'm still gonna be here for you.”

I sat back against the booth, and waved a waitress over. “Hey bring Blondie a loaded fudge brownie sundae and Red here a molten lava sundae and me, hell, just bring me a scoop of vanilla, I need to stick with what I know.”

I smiled and watched the waitress leave and looked back at the stunned faces. “Hey, compared to you two I am vanilla.” I smiled. “Really I am.” I pointed to B. “You're all 'my milkshake brings all the dead to the yard and that's right'...” I blew out a sharp breath, my song dying on my lips as I took a quick jab to the gut. I smiled as I rubbed my gut and looked at Red. “And you're tapping that asp.” I laughed. “Out of the three of us I'm totally vanilla and you know it.”

2.

I pushed my ice cream away from me. “Vanilla sucks.” I muttered, before looking up at Will. “So... Red... I gotta know.... Hey!” I yelled as I took another boot to the shin.

“Quit kicking me.” I glared at B and looked back to Will. I smiled big at her, my dimples popping.

She blushed. Buffy blushed. “Oh my God.... she already told you.” I guessed, watching their reactions.

I laughed at loud, enjoying the company. “Wow... I guess it's true... once you go snake..” My voice trailed off and I had to work hard not to bust out laughing. “Well, I have no clue what comes next.”

Willow took it in stride, nodding. “I've got a seminar, otherwise I'd stay here and educate you.” She breathed out, amused. “Don't worry though, it's all good.” She pushed up from the table, nodding at B. “I'll see you later.” She stated before moving around towards me.

I stood up and enveloped her in a hug. “Take care Red.” She nodded and smiled at me. I watched her as she exited the shop before sitting back down.

Buffy started to say something but I held up my hand stopping her. “So, how bout we get something a bit more substantial to eat than ice cream.” I stated. She scrunched up her features and I nodded no, barely perceptible.

I rubbed my ear with my index finger letting her know it wasn't safe to talk. “She looks good.” I offered. “I feel bad for Ken but Will looks alright.”

I called the waitress and ordered a couple of burgers with fries and slouched back down into the seat.

“So how have you been doing?” I asked, as I sat the sound stones around the table. “How bout we don't fight anymore. I really don't like it and Red's not wrong. We just have all this tension and no healthy way to rid ourselves of it.”

“Well there is one way.” She offered.

“You think we're grown up enough for that yet?” I asked. She seemed to look me over, thinking.

I nodded, when I thought it was safe to talk. “So, what do you think?” Buffy asked.

I sighed. “I think it doesn't matter which way we go, we're screwed.” I shrugged. “I mean if we took out the snakes, she'd probably go all Molotov on us... no since in us being the reason she turns. I think we're gonna have to wait and keep in her life, letting her know we're there for her.”

“We can't fault her for something that may or may not happen, we're just gonna have to wait it out.”

“I can't do this alone.” She whispered. “I need you to stay close. You're the only one I can turn to with this.”

I nodded. “Okay, I've got your back. We'll be in this together.”

She nodded, breathing out slowly. “Faith, we can't let it get like it was in the dream.” She whispered.

“I know that B and believe me I don't want that. We'll just have to be better anchors.” I sat back as our burgers arrived and picked at it a bit before I stuck a fry in my mouth.

“I killed her in the dream.” She muttered.

“I know... and we've warned her. We'll just have to make sure she's got something to hold onto.”

“Like what?” She questioned.

I smiled before I bit into my burger. “Well, we could just elope, have a half dozen kids and make her Godparent.” I smiled as she looked at me in disbelief. “What you want a dozen?”

She bit her hamburger and sat it down gingerly. “Don't get all shy on me now.” I laughed. “It's just an option, a pretty good one if I do say so myself.”

She blushed and half smiled at me. “Hey, I'm just saying... our kids would be hella cute.” I added.

She smiled, face still red and stuffed a fry in her mouth. “Or.... we could learn to wrangle snakes.”

I scrunched up my face. “That doesn't sound near as fun as my option.”

She laughed. “No... no it really doesn't.”

I wiped my mouth with my napkin and smiled as I laid it on the tabletop. “Well, to quote my favorite actors. Sam L. J. and Indie Jo: 'Snakes why's it always gotta be snakes. I'm so sick of all these Mutha Fuckin snakes.'”

We laughed, the mood lightening up. I stood up, dropped forty bucks on the table and pulled B to a standing position. I palmed the sound stones, dropping them into my pocket. “It's the forked tongue right?”

She slapped at my stomach. I smiled at her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

“It's the forked tongue.” I smiled at her.

She grabbed my chin and made me look at her. “So how serious were you with option A?” She asked.

“Very.” I cajoled. “It'd stop all our fighting, relieve all this frustration between us. Plus... I peeked in the sex shop window and they have this snake like thing....”

Buffy smiled, disbelief playing over her features. “I guess it's like you say... once you go snake....” She hesitated. “Yeah there really isn't anything to go with that.”

“Well.. Will does.”

She looked at me quickly. “Oh no you didn't.”

I put my hand to my chest, feigning innocence. “Well …. I wouldn't know how.” I smiled at her, thumping my chest. “Vanilla.”

She rolled her eyes and I smiled at her.