HELLION

1

I heard something scratching at the window. You know last week, I'd of went over and checked it out, easy peasy, no problem but today, well today... I have to admit that even I'm a bit weary. Scared shitless and that's not an easy feat.

Seems like the noises outside are getting louder and closer. The lights are all off... the windows are covered, doors secured; got crosses, holy water, UV lights, stakes, a shotgun, 38 special and all kinds of batons, knives and swords... even a battle staff.

I blew out the breath I'd been holding. I have to know. I moved stealthily over to the window, tearing a bit of the black out paper and carefully peered out into the darkness.

“What fresh hell is this?” You know I thought it was bad before but we went from 'not too bad' to something akin to 30 days of night, 28 days later and now we're living in something similar to an apocalyptic Salem's Lot. Meaning: the vamps now are holy freaking hellish, scary as a heart attack and for something that needs blood to survive, they sure do waste a lot of it. Not to mention, the free roaming demons and the humans that are something else now and by something else I mean rabid, possessed, or just your plain ole mill crazy assed nut job.

At least the demons and vamps don't discriminate. They'll eat the crazies, just as well as you or me.

I'll give you 2 words and 10 letters to guess what did this.

Have you figured it out?

B U F F Y A N G E L. Yep those fuckers did this. You know I wished I hadn't of been smoking weed before the battle, or during all those briefings, but what can I say, it's the only way I can tolerate being told what to do, and swallow all those jibes coming every which way at me. Best I can recall though is that 'they', had sex in space, and WTH? I mean really? And they call me a slut?

I know I have this reputation, BUT I can count my conquests on my two hands, believe it or not but that's because I had some repeat offenders, that were just too good not to repeat but still... 2 hands! And not one of them were dead! Just tell me how that's sanitary? Makes me want to barf!

Anyway, they F'n blew up our lovely universe. Top it off the military got involved and hello, they're human so.... not my fight. I made a show, wrinkled my brow cause EWWWW, fluids floating in space not my thing, killing humans, unless the new kind of crazy ones, not my thing anymore. So I stole one of Red's spell ball things and broke open a portal, thank you Red and hightailed it out of there before Blondie threw the Scythe into some hole or whatever the hell she did and blew the slayers powers and magic to hell and beyond.

I know I saw her break the scythe, but come on... I can still feel it... whatever illusion she's trying to get us all to swallow.... I know it's a lie... she broke something, threw something away, but it wasn't the slayer scythe.

I call bullshit.

And as for me, well I still have my powers, but they don't know that. But the other slayers, well, now they're just human and no more witchiness for the well, witches. I kind of think that B still has her slayer powers though, only she's keeping it quiet, just like me. I mean we were chosen by the damned PTB, not like the others who were gifted. So I'm staying away. I'm hiding though and I'm thinking I need to try and get back to them, safety in numbers.

I ran from her and Angel... but not only them... I didn't want them to try and strip my powers from me. I was chosen... it's not up to them to decide if I should be or not. Too bad.

But here's the rub. I'm so freaking angry at them. Sick at my stomach angry at them. And I've started having slayer dreams with B and she's all flirty in them and I swear I'm going to blow freaking chunks. The dreams are ramping up and I mean like porn, only cryptic.

Oh yeah, the golden girl is mad at me. What's new? Mad cause I hightailed it outta there. Hello, again, fluids in space, all that shit floating in the air, just waiting for someone to suck it in. Please, I'd puke for months. I like my fluids living.... ewww I'm gonna get sick. Plus I was feeling a bit jilted, and therein lies another rub.

Of course, everything makes me sick lately and I've not had any sex, except for in those slayer dreams, that's right, so I have to go back. I know she's controlling the dreams, using the feelings she knows I have for her to get me back. I've been packing a trekking bag and I'm bolting at first light. I'm gonna try to run towards Buffy's group and they're gonna try to run towards me. Seems they need me. Why? Because I'm the actual slayer, the line runs through me. There's this artifact they need, something to help bring back magic, to help the slayer line get back its power and only 'the slayer' can get them. It's hilarious if you think about it, cause, they've never acknowledged me as the slayer... only 'a slayer' and half the time not even that. So yeah, it's a pretty eat shit time for me. Add into that 'she' caused this f'd up world and I'm practically on cloud 9.

I'm not the only fuck up anymore. Good times.

I do need to rest though, tomorrow is going to be almost impossible. I'm not sure that I'm gonna make it but if I do go out, it's gonna be in a blaze of glory. Seriously, rainbow brigades, flags, fireworks, maybe even a marching band. Why, cause I scored a not too sweet ride, kinda looks like that pussy wagon in that sword chick movie. So I'm gonna be barreling down the road like a bat outta hell, in a damned pride mobile, flags flying from the windows, rainbows painted like racing stripes down the sides and words embedded on the tailgate, 'pussy, the other pink meat'. Oh yeah, good times for sure. Did I mention when you hit the horn, the damned thing says 'suck it'?

Even if I do live, I'll never live it down. But hey, I'm older and seriously, as you get older you really just cease to give a fuck. Life gives you lemons, you laugh your fucking ass off. What am I gonna do cry?

Fuck em, fuck em all. The monsters and the people responsible

2

It's crack of dawn and I'm hesitating. Seriously, I'm considering going out the window, just tying the sheets together and repelling down the side of building. It's not that I'm scared... well yeah it's exactly that.

I mean, I could open the door to the hallway and make my way to the stairs... but I don't really know what's there. Daylight is my friend. It's my only friend and I've gotta get to the damned truck. But... but, well I guess mental health should also be my friend. I dig through my pocket and pull out the pill bottle. I throw in a Xanax and try to regulate my heart. Yeah... I'm scared. I'm so scared I'm ported right back to being that teenager watching as my watcher, who I loved, got ripped to shreds in front of me.

I pull on my gear and ease the door open. I ease down the hallway, looking, listening, feeling, rolling my feet so my footfalls won't make a sound. I can feel sweat beading on my forehead.

I run my fingers along the wall as I move stealthily. My eyes glance over all the new tattoos that mark me. I'm covered in crosses, literally, fingers, palms, neck, shoulders: Crosses and sigils. I'm trying to make myself invisible, or maybe something akin to a ripple. Whatever, I don't want to be noticed if I can help it. And I'm only hopeful that the tats and sigils will work. No magic, so it'll be a helluva thing just finding out. I think my biggest worry has to be making sure my body stays in tact. Just one drop of blood and they'll smell me for miles and they'll certainly be coming for that.

I pushed the door to the stairwell open, it's hinges squeak and I still. My breath escapes and my heart speeds up, it's beats thumping inside my brain. I listen and ease the door shut. I grip my machete tight, silently pulling it from its sheath and lift a water gun with my left. I look at the magazine I've taped over my forearm in my last ditch effort to avoid getting bit. Let's face it, bit really isn't an option anymore... they don't bite so much as ravage. It's much harder to stop the bleeding from a chunk than it is from puncture marks.

I'm thankful I'm a SyFy and Chiller bitch. Hey the idea's had to come from somewhere. So far I've survived.

The stairwell is coated in dried blood, well it's not running, it's thick and caked over everything. Like I said yesterday... for something that needs blood to live, they sure are wasteful.

I peer over the side of the railing, looking down into the darkness. I watch the peripherals, making note of the shadows and start easing myself down the stairs.

I start moving faster as my nerves ramp up a notch. I'm doing everything I can to control my breathing and my heartbeat. Fear runs up my spine though and I move quicker, less stealthy.

I stall as I see a body lying in the stairwell. It doesn't look torn up, just bloody. I point the gun and spray holy water at it. It sits up and screams. I move in quickly, arcing the blade and cutting it's head off.

I hear movement above me and I take off, going deeper, my footfalls sounding and echoing off the walls. I try to glance back every few steps but give it up, not wanting to know... I hit the exit to the parking garage and barrel ass to the truck.

I throw my shit in, lock the doors and get to work trying to hot wire it. I feel and see the sparks just as the monsters crash against the side of the vehicle. I grip the wheel, throw it into reverse and gun it backwards, running over anything in the way.

I throw it into drive and stomp on the accelerator. The windows crashes and nails as sharp as blades grasps at me, grabbing, pulling. The truck lurches forward and I point it towards the exit, fighting off the few things latched onto me.

It's got me. I can't let go of the wheel to get them off me... the only saving grace is that damned magazine I got taped around my arm but that won't last much longer.

The glass shatters behind my head and I scream, startled. I grip the wheel harder and run the truck up against the wall, scraping the side of the vehicle and peeling the things off of it. The arm attached to me falls into my lap and I grip the water gun with my now free hand and aim it behind my head, firing.

The things claws scratch my face as it pulls back from the viscous liquid; the truck bolts from the garage. I tug the wheel, spinning the truck sideways and screech to a stop.

He doesn't dust, the guy in the back, no he just rights himself and grins at me. I curse the cloud cover and look him in the eyes. He looks right back at me and smiles wider. He lunges up the bed of the truck toward me. I stomp the pedal, lurching the vehicle forward and watch as he tumbles over the tail gait. I hit the horn and laugh wildly as the truck screams, 'suck it.'

I end up doing like 80 through a bloodied and deserted downtown. I glance back as I clear it, making note of all the dead bodies dismembered and lying around haphazardly.

I pull out my compass and change directions but change my mind at the last second. I stop outside a catholic church. I'm gonna need to replenish my stores of holy water.

3.

Seemed like it took forever to fill up on holy water. I ransacked the church, grabbing the food they had in the kitchen, the first aid kits, well hell, I even went through the donation box, grabbing any clothes that would fit or that would make bandages.

On my way out, I cut off a piece of hose pipe and threw it in the back of the truck. I found a small gas can and threw it in as well. I would definitely need to scrounge for gas along the way and I damned sure needed to do it when the sun was up and bright and I'd also need to make sure I was holed up somewhere way before night fell.

On my way to the next town, I realized how weary I was. I'd not slept much since I'd left them behind. I wish there was some way I could rest but let's face it, out here alone, unless I slept during the day, well there's no telling how long it'd be before I was able to get in some good sleep.

Why in the hell did I have to throw that spell of Red's. I should've just stayed with the group and took my lumps. I just never could stand the thought of her with anybody. It just always hurt and made me mad as hell and as much as I love Angel, well right now I'd just like to stab his un-dead ass.

The heat outside was sweltering. But as hot as it was, I was glad the sun was shining brightly. The temperature sucked but I knew that I couldn't run the a/c, no sense bitching about it...it was what it was. Well I take that back...I could...but I needed to make what gas I had last as long as I could. Another town was straight ahead and I was gonna have to stop and siphon as much gas as I could. I didn't have a choice. I didn't have to worry about vamps right now, not with the sun shining down but I was gonna have to worry about the zombies and the crazies. Well I'd have to worry about the bloodsuckers If I went inside somewhere or the clouds blew in.

Too many variables to worry and think on. I've gotta deal with what's here and now.

The town appeared to be deserted but I knew that could change in an instant. I slowed and watched a few minutes before I drove in further and came to a stop and got out, reaching into the bed for the gas can, hose pipe and a funnel I'd picked up from somewhere. I placed the funnel into the gas tank and got to work getting as much gas as I could while being as quiet as possible.

The hairs on the back of my neck started prickling and I felt like I was gonna vomit. I could smell rot. I couldn't make a sound. I gently slid my knife out and eased around the car, eyeing the two shambling corpses. Where there was one there was 100, two, well the math only went up.

I stepped out and plunged my knife into the head of the first one and kicked the other back a bit before I stepped forward and impaled him as well. I eased them down to the asphalt, wiped my blade as I looked around and went back to filling the tank and the can.

When I had as much gas as I could carry. I looked for any other supplies I might need. I smiled as I noticed a jail. I drove up and stopped right in front of the door.

I slowly picked my way through the jail, killing what I had to and plundering for any gear or supplies I might need. I found some tactical gear, some guns, ammo.

The generator was operating so I barricaded any way to enter and used the sink in the bathroom to wash up. I'm grateful they had a few women on the force. I got some boots, just a bit big as well as clothing. I clipped on the tack gear. It was heavy and cumbersome but it certainly gave me a hell of a lot more protection than I had before.

I stored some extra clothes in a duffle bag and went to the armory. I clipped a couple of sig saurs onto my belt, extra clips and grabbed a short shotgun and all the ammo I could carry. Let me be honest here... there's no chance I could really use a gun, it was a last option thing, cause any noise and they were coming. Most likely, the last shot I heard would be the one I was firing into my own head.

The kitchenette had a stock of powerades, power bars, chips and jerky. Beggars certainly couldn't be choosy so I threw it into the other duffles and carried them to the truck. I didn't know what the other group would have so I packed everything that was there, just in case.

I grabbed my backpack from the truck and shoved it full with fresh clothes, food, drink, ammo and extra weapons. Let's face it, having a full truck was a blessing, but in case I had to grab and go, at least my backpack would keep me alive for awhile, at least until I could find more.

I found some more gas reserves outside the jailhouse and I started to make my way back towards the truck. I stopped and peered around the building, inwardly cringing as I looked into the face of a few crazies. I cursed and eased back into the building, bolting the door.

Let me just say that crazy does not mean stupid.

Sure they'd run at you without thought. I'm just saying they were gonna notice the bright as hell truck that'd magically appeared. I had one shot here. I couldn't fight them all off, I had to divert their attention while I made a break for it.

I squeezed through the door and threw a box of ammo into a dumpster. I tossed in my lighter and hightailed it back inside, again bolting the door and waiting.

Seemed like it took forever before the ammo started exploding. I waited a few minutes, eased outside, setting my bags in the back of the truck, eased inside the vehicle and touched the wires together.

The engine finally sputtered to life and I sat up and stared at the smiling faces of those things. I gunned the engine and drove straight at them. Their screams were bringing in the whole damned down. I ran over a few, the truck hitching as it tried to pick up speed.

The passenger window caved and glass flew around me. My head rocked to the side, but I kept my wits and gunned the accelerator, the truck picking up speed.

I wiped at my eyes, noticing a bullet lodged in the metal of the door. That must've just missed my head. Blood was running over and in my eye and I got scared. I looked in the mirror and saw the gash the bullet had left as it grazed my forehead. It was just that close. It was all I could do not to lose my lunch.

Oh my God. I was bloodied. There was no hiding, not anymore.

4.

“Faith.” I heard a distant voice. “Faith... you need to wake up.” I groaned and winced, still groggy. “You need to wake up.”

I sat up, wincing, my hands cradling my head. I looked around, starting to panic. I must've passed out. I stumbled out of the truck, which was still burning gas. I'd lost the day. Night was coming. I filled up the tank, grabbed up a bottle of water and guzzled it down.

I managed to clean and bandage my head before I vomited. I crawled back into the truck and started driving again. This wasn't good. I couldn't hole up anywhere. I had to drive through the night and they'd smell my blood.

I pulled back onto the road and drove as I tried to figure out if I was going in the right direction. My head was throbbing and nausea was at the forefront. I'd already lost the water I'd downed so I tried to re-hydrate and eat again.

I saw a sign and stopped, pulling out a map. I wanted to get on a highway, thinking I'd be safer there than closer to where civilization used to live. It couldn't hurt right? I knew what dwelled in the corners of inhabited areas.

I somehow needed to block the scent of my blood as well. I had gas and the last thing I wanted to do was douse myself in an accelerant. It was the lesser of the evils, at least that was what my brain was telling me. It was also telling me that burning to death would hurt like a bitch... but then again, so would being pulled apart and eaten while I watched.

I saw some of the walking dead and damn if my mind didn't flash to the series. It was gross as hell but just maybe, maybe they knew something I didn't. I mean if Carol could do it, why the hell couldn't I?

After chopping and dicing and hanging the... meat over and around the truck I puked up everything I'd ever eaten and sloshed the slush mixture over my body. I'd wrapped every wound in plastic and gorilla tape and smeared myself top to toe. I looked like some horrific version of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, only a lot more gross.

My stomach was dry heaving but I couldn't smell the blood any more. I just hoped that they didn't shoot me on sight like Beth shot Daryl. Lovely right? I was also hoping that they'd realize someone running like hell, with a weapon and a backpack had to be human and running from something a lot worse, than what I had to look like.

I climbed back into the truck, gagged a few more times and took off down the road. I'd have to drive with the lights off. I couldn't afford for them to see me. It was bad enough I'd be hauling ass down unknown highways in the dark, smelling like death warmed over.

5.

I'd been driving for hours. Just as soon as the tank would get low, I'd stop and refill it. I didn't want to get below a half a tank unless I had to. It'd been touch and go the last time I'd topped off.

I was constantly sick from the stench and I'd wrecked a few times. I had new cuts from hitting the steering wheel. Yeah, driving in the dark, not something I'd recommend.

I was beyond hurt. I was exhausted and I was sure I had a huge concussion. My eyes were black, the pupils large, taking up my cornea and tinged with blood. My head was throbbing and each beat of my heart felt like a hit with a ball bat.

So was the wearing rot worth it? I don't know. If I end up dying from some kind of disease... not really but if I got away from the monsters, then yeah. I think the constant gagging was worse than anything and that included getting eaten.

I think I had a few cracked ribs from the seat belt. I hit a little small black car in the dark and took a nice crack to the noggin from the steering column, the seat belt stopped me and I felt the give. Yeah I was going that fast. The next accident was after I ran over something. It was small, like child sized and I didn't want to look but I had to. No way I couldn't. It was dead already... that was the only thing that saved my sanity.

But I took another look back and ran into a tail guard or something. Why the air bag worked then, I'll never know. But I think it busted my friggin nose, certainly busted my lip. I poured water over it, then peroxide. I was tired of wearing the rot; die or not. At least I was coherent enough to leave the plastic and tape over my wounds. And I had enough sense to pour water over the new ones, followed by hydrogen peroxide. I had some Vaseline lip gel and I clotted up the new cuts with it and shoved a couple of tampons up my nose. Yeah... I was a beauty.

I found some alcohol, yeah, that kind and doused my head, face, neck and arms, trying to burn out any infection.

I could hear the buzz of them. They sounded like angry hornets the closer they got. I was just so damned tired. I wanted to just lie down and sleep. I had to change the tire and I was struggling. I got it on, wasn't as tight as it should've been, but it was what it was.

Took way too long, way too long.

I squinted against the darkness, smelling rain on the horizon. I glanced to the East and felt the sun on it's way.

I pushed myself up and clambered back inside the cab of the truck. I backed up and eased through the tight fit. I made my way back to the side of the highway and picked up speed.

I could see them coming in the tail view. I turned and froze. They'd be on me in minutes and I had cars to get through and around. My blood curdled as I stepped on the gas. I had a bit of clearing on the side and I needed every minute I could muster.

I saw a vehicle on the bridge ahead. It moved. My heart sped up and I almost started crying. I rammed my way through a couple of abandoned cars and got into an opening. I gunned the engine, picking up speed.

I'm not sure when I realized the wheel came off. I opened my eyes and the world was turned upside down. I unhooked the seat belt and pushed myself through the window, dragging my pack and weapons with me.

I hoisted the pack, stumbling to my feet. I started running, trying not to look behind me. I slowed just a bit to put the straps over my shoulders, my hands feeling over myself, making sure I had ammo to go with the guns I was wearing. And thank God I had enough sense to keep them strapped on me.

I still had the tactical gear on and it was slowing me down. I could hear footfalls behind me and chill bumps formed on my skin. The hairs on my neck stood on end. I felt my pack pulled and I dropped the shotgun, letting them pull the pack off as I kept on running.

I still felt hands on me. I screamed and pulled knives, slashing at any and everything around me. My heart was blasting in my head as I took a hit and fell backwards on the asphalt. I stabbed wildly as the things head exploded and rained down over me.

I felt myself pulled upwards and I started flailing again, fighting. I couldn't see anything in front of me.

I was fighting one second and that's it, nothing, total blackness.

6.

I sat upright, panning the area, trying to push myself up. “Whoa... easy, relax.”

“Ken?” I questioned, focusing my eyes and rubbing my head at the same time.

She grabbed hold and sat me back down. “Just relax. We're safe.”

I nodded, sighing, letting my body relax.

“You look like you've rolled in death.” I looked up at her. “Just saying.” She held her hands up. “So what happened?” She quizzed.

I rubbed my temples. “I rolled in death.” I muttered.

She nodded and pointed off to the side. “We got your pack and cleared out your truck.” She stated. “You wanna get that rot off?” She asked.

I nodded. “Okay, looks like I'm gonna have to help you... or you want someone else to do it?” She asked.

I half laughed. “If there's some girl gonna try to beat my ass for showering with ya I'd just as soon have somebody else.” I stated, staggering to get my pack.

It was her turn to laugh. “Nah, single as all get out here.” She admitted.

I nodded. “Sorry about that.” I whispered. And I was. I meant it.

“About that shower... well there's no generator here. But I've filled a few of those plastic gallon containers under that water tower. Gonna stand us under it to knock the pieces off. Got another set up with bleach to sterilize us. It's gonna burn like hell but we can't take the chance on letting any cuts get infected. We'll lather, rinse again in bleach solution then pile in those huge plastic tubs... got a few of the tots, boiling water so we can get you in a hot bath.”

I nodded, barely able to stand. I turned too quickly and stumbled again, dry heaving.

She wrapped her arms around me. “Did I mention it looks like I'm gonna be the one getting that rotted meat smell off of ya?” She asked. I didn't answer, just went willingly wherever she pulled me.

I didn't even flinch when the scissors came out to cut into my clothing. I was beyond caring.

“Jesus.” She whispered. I knew she was looking over my body.

“How bad is it?” I managed to ask.

I heard her pull in a breath, assessing me. “Depends... were you driving the truck or getting pulled behind it?”

I laughed halfheartedly. “A bit of both actually.”

She clapped her hands together. “Alright, lets get this shit done.” She stripped down and put us underneath the water. “Okay, let her rip.”

“Uhm.” I didn't really know what to say.

She laughed. “I smell just as bad as you do from carrying you around.” She explained.

The bleach burned beyond reason. But just getting the wretched smell washed away was a blessing.

I helped as much as I could, the loss of adrenaline let me know just how badly I was hurt. I pretty much fell into the plastic container, the warm water was just what I needed. I felt tears well up. I groaned. “I can barely move.” I rasped out.

“Yeah.” She stated. “Okay...smooch up, make room for me to get in.”

“We're never gonna hear the end of this are we?” I asked, amused.

She laughed. “Probably never. Would serve them right though if we turned all gay for each other.” She poured water over my hair and lathered it up. “Oh you so needed this. Several more times and you might actually start to smell good.”

I nodded and relaxed, feeling safe. I felt so tired, limbs heavy but nonetheless I helped with everything I could reach. “So why'd you take off?”

“Huh.” I turned my face just a bit to see her. I sighed as the question filtered through my muggy head. “You know how you felt when you found out about Red and Alwhatever?” I hesitated, she nodded so I continued. “You found out that when you guys were making love...that she'd been projecting herself somewhere else, with someone else...”

“Yeah.” She cut me off. “I remember.”

I nodded. “I felt like that... it's just there's always been something between us and she's always chosen something else instead of me. We had the chemistry, the pull and the promise of something more and then she'd just jump into bed with Angel or Spike or that slayer... anyone else other than me.”

I leaned back against Kennedy's body, relaxing. “It always hurt... that first time though with Angel that broke something inside me. And when I found out she was playing me and going to him... well just smelling that death coming off her...” I let the words die off.

“I left cause I just couldn't take it anymore. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.” I turned my face to look at her again. “Ya know?” I asked.

I felt her nod. “I blamed her for Giles dying and for this new world and I wanted to strike her down.” I stalled. “She's on the ground crying, running away from Angel and she'd just balled him silly.... Next she's standing next to Spike and all I can think of is when they go at it, what monster will they birth into the new world.”

I felt her arms squeeze just a bit. “Surely you don't think she'd …”

I cut my eyes at her. “Don't be stupid... it's what she does.” I scalded. “And don't think I wouldn't still be out there on my own if they didn't need my ass to do something for them.” I added.

She laced her fingers through mine, whispering. “Don't worry... I got your back.”

I smiled and leaned my head into her neck. I was beyond tired.

We heard a throat clear and we stiffened. “So... how is she?” Buffy asked. We both turned our heads, in unison and stared at Buffy with Red following closely behind her.

Kennedy held me in place. “I've seen road kill that looked better.” The tone of her voice pretty much yelled, not now. “We'll be out when I'm certain not one cut is going to get infected and not before each one is cleaned, doctored and bandaged.

I saw the dynamic duo take those words and chew on them. They nodded, turned and walked away. Not like they could really take shots at me, not when they needed me to get something.

I hoped it was like some kind of sword in a stone. That'd just make my friggin day.

7.

I'd been napping off and on. Waking, trying to shake it off but falling back under. My body needed time to heal... I just didn't really have it, none of us did. When I finally managed to get lucid I couldn't believe how banged up I was. I relaxed and just took a few moments to breathe.

I was clean, bandaged and dressed in fresh clothes. I sipped on some water and chewed some jerky. I offered some to Ken. We just lazed there, both stuffing our faces and basking in the quiet. Lately, if you found quiet, you had to enjoy it while you could; gift horse and all that.

“Thanks for grabbing all my gear.” I managed to pull it over to the bed and spread it out over the mattress, emptied my pack and grabbed up ken's as well. I split the necessities between the bags and give her one of the guns and half the ammo.

It wasn't even a question of would I share. It was a done deal. We stored the stuff against the door and I fell back against the mattress, exhausted from just that little bit of exertion. I felt like she'd keep me safe and I fell asleep again.

I woke up hours later to muffled voices. I roused a bit more. “Hey.” B sat on the side of the bed. “Don't get up... you've got a pretty bad concussion.” Just rest and try to get some more sleep.

“Ken?” I asked.

“Right here.” She stated. “Why are they here?” I asked, meaning Red and B.

I heard Buffy pull in an aggravated breath. “I'm right here Faith. What? You can't look at me enough to talk to me?”

I winced and rubbed my head, cracking my neck. I heard her sigh. She spoke again, this time her voice gentle. “I know you blame me.” She hesitated. “I heard everything you two said.” She pulled in another deep breath. “We heard everything.” She motioned between her and Willow.

It was my turn to sigh. I nodded. “I'm too tired to care.”

I woke up a few hours later. “It's middle of the night.” I heard Ken whisper. “Shh.” She whispered again, peeping out the window. “They're looking for us.”

I watched as shadows flitted by the windows. It was a bit nerve racking, especially since we weren't on the ground floor. She eased back over and sat back against the headboard, inching closer to me. “Will's got a magic bubble around us. We're invisible.” I nodded, absentmindedly reaching over and grasping her hand as we sat quietly and watched the shadows move around outside.

I held my breath as a face peered inside the window at us. We stilled, waiting, watching; feeling as if its eyes were boring into us, releasing the breath and relaxing as the shape finally moved on.

“So... how long you gonna be mad at Buffy?” She whispered.

“Til I'm dead.” I replied.

“You with Red?” I queried.

“Same.” She returned. I looked at her disbelievingly. “She cheated on me with a...”

“Anaconda?” I offered. She looked at me hard and we smiled at each other.

“At least it wasn't dead.” She joked back, us both making light out of hurtful situations.

“Either way.” I breathed out. “They're both gross.” She nodded agreeing. She wrapped her arm around me. “Let's get some more sleep, tomorrow's gonna be long and hard.”

I nodded and leaned in, my hand resting near her weapon, an easy draw if I should need it.

8.

We walked into the conference area, well Ken walked and I basically hitched a ride. She was toting our packs. She's pretty impressive to be able to mange that without her enhanced powers. We had several other bags of supplies that I'd scrounged on my way to meet up with them being brought in by other slayers. Me and Ken had more than enough put aside for weeks. So we were gonna share.

I sat down and Ken dropped our bags; grabbed us up a power bar from the extras and dug into it. I nodded my head towards the bag at the slayers lining the room. They all followed suit. We'd all eaten one and grabbed a drink. I looked at the two that helped bring all the gear in. “Count them out on that table over there, will ya?” I asked.

I looked to another slayer. “Get me a head count please.... all of us, including us.” I motioned to me, ken, B and Red.

I got up and swayed a bit. Kennedy reached out and steadied me. She helped me over to what I'm calling the supply table. I sat back down and laid my head on the table. I heard Ken laughing and I made myself look at her. “What?” I whispered.

She leaned in. “Just wondering how you got those tampons up your nose.” She stated, smiling.

I smirked. In all seriousness though. It was a do or die deal. Stop the blood flow and get rid of the smell or else lead everything and its mama to you.

We got the totals and did the math. Everyone, got a share. Me and Ken didn't line up cause we'd already packed our bags. We split it evenly between the group and when it was all said and done, we were able to split a bag of jerky, another bar and drink between the two of us. I had an ace up my sleeve though. I pulled out a cadbury's bar and halved it, giving half to the youngest slayer in the room. She couldn't be more than fourteen. I split the other half with Ken.

She took the offering and smiled. “Oh... I'm in love now.”

I smiled back. “All ya need is love.”

“That's not all ya need.” She cantered. I smiled up at her, my dimples going deep and my face going red. She picked up my thought pattern and her face glowed in turn. We were sizing each other up.

“If you two could stop with the....sexing... we're ready to begin.”

“Sure.” We said in unison, still smiling.

9.

Even with my head throbbing I could tell that the dynamic duo was pissed off at me and Ken. I'd catch tidbits of words or eye glances. I'd look over at Ken and she'd just shrug at me.

My f'd up past decided to give me reason for pause. “Hey... your not being like this to get me to get them what they want are you?” I asked. “You don't have to... if it'll help us of course I'll get it... I just like making them sweat a bit.” I admitted.

She reached over and squeezed my leg, inching closer to me. She grasped my hand and laced her fingers through mine. I closed my eyes, cause I don't think anybody's ever really just loved me before, not since my first watcher... maybe Angel but both of those fell through.

She shifted, let go of my hand and wrapped it around my waist. She leaned in and whispered sweet things. I couldn't help but smile. I turned and looked into her eyes. She wasn't Buffy. She wasn't all innuendo and denial. She wasn't a promise of things never to come. She was real.

We leaned in slowly, our lips touching, meshing. Friction flowed between us, soft, sultry, lips, tongue; a gentle swaying suction of sweet sighs.

A throat clearing broke us from our trance. We smiled at each other. I felt eyes on me and I caught Red and B's glares before they turned their faces away from us.

“Stop thinking Faith.” Ken whispered. “I'm single.... you're single... they're just mad cause we don't seem so miserable anymore.”

I nodded, cause I got it. Everybody looks better when they're not available. When you can't have something, well that's when you really want it. It was always about Buffy before. My going crazy: My redemption: My running... but maybe, just maybe this time it could be about me and what was best for me.

I was old enough now to acknowledge that maybe Buffy wasn't what was best for me. She'd never chosen me before. She only gave me enough to keep me running back for more. She knew how I felt about her, she'd pull me in and then push me out.

I'd wanted what I could never have. Wanted love from someone who'd never love me. I was just a tool now. I knew it... and now... I could live with it, as long as it meant all the slayers would survive. That was enough reason to get that damned whatever the hell it was.

I hadn't had the shared slayer dreams for a few days, either because I was beat to hell and back... or maybe it was more to do with 'who', my mind had running through it now.

I'd told Ken about the dreams and she wasn't shocked. Strange just days ago everything was all about Buffy and now, now she just didn't matter and I felt a weight lifted off my heart.

We got briefed and loaded up to make our way to the destination. It wasn't a brief trip, for sure. I tried to rest as much as possible, let my body heal. I slept hard. It wasn't a deep sleep but it'd have to do.

We pulled up to the caverns with a few hours left of light. I got out stretching my cramped body. A few stakes were thrusts towards me and a couple of blades, one long, one short. I got them strapped on. Got a much lighter pack with some supplies in it.

“You're gonna need a tie to this realm.” Willow stated. I nodded and looked to Kennedy. She smiled and stepped up next to me.

“Not you.” Ken stated, as she motioned the other witch forward. Nova stepped forward. We emptied our pockets for anything left over that might have residual magic attached to it and used it to help perform a simple binding spell and we all looked to Will afterwards for confirmation. She nodded yes, turned and stalked off. Would it work? Hell if any of us knew. With my luck? Probably not.

“You need more time to heal?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I'm not tip top... but I think I can manage.” I hesitated. “Do I have more time to heal?” I asked

She sighed and nodded her head no. I sighed and looked around at the group. I was gonna have to pull deep and I was worried.

I turned and faced B. She nodded and motioned for me to go with her. I followed her and looked at her waiting. “So... her huh?” I turned, looked at Ken and smiled. I faced her again, my brow furrowed. “I'm not stepping on Red's toes here am I?” I asked.

She sighed. “No, they were broken up and it's true what you heard about why.” She breathed. “Just that didn't really work out and she's having regrets over what she did.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that sex between species thing rarely ever works out.” She looked at me quickly and nodded.

“I'm sending Satsu in with you.... she'll watch your back while you grab the gizmo.... Ken's gonna be circled up in magic and will act as your tie to show you the way back out.” She pulled in a breath.

I laughed. “You're sending in your ex to watch my back... my back?” I scoffed just a bit. “Naw... you're gonna watch my back. Not any of your jealous ex's, not any of your loyal followers. You.”

I stepped back from her. “And y'all can all quit acting all butt hurt like I'm gonna betray you and run off with the whatever it is.” I hesitated. “I'm doing this because the line runs through me. I want it to live on and I've got something worth fighting for now.” I smiled and glanced over at Ken.

“So grab the scythe and lets go.”

10.

I had some time to kill while I waited on B so I decided to bite the proverbial bullet. I walked over to Red. “Hey.”

She looked up at me and I hesitated. “I'm sorry.” I breathed out. “I didn't plan it, certainly don't want to hurt you or anyone else.” I looked around and bit my lip. “I've done enough of that to last me a lifetime.”

I looked at her, sincerity flowing through me. “I'm serious. I'm not trying to hurt her or use her.” I took a breath. “It's not cause you had her first...” I paused again. “My whole life... I've wanted someone. I acted all hard and callous because I'd been taught that feelings and need were weakness.” I wiped at my eyes. “Now... I've got them and it's making me strong, making me want to win. It's giving me something to fight for.”

“You love her?” She asked.

I smiled. “I like her more than I like myself and I'm riding that roller coaster on a rocket.”

I looked at her. “Don't get me wrong. I do have the ability to love someone. It's just building.... but what I feel it's... hopeful.. it's wanting, desire. I want to make her smile... I want to protect her.”

“I think maybe she feels the same way.... and that like blows my friggin mind.” I laughed. “It's like the first time ever that someone is returning my feelings and is not playing me.”

She looked at me questioningly. I laughed again. “I'm saying... I'm all in.”

She nodded and her eyes looked behind me. I turned and faced Buffy. “You ready?” She asked. I smiled and walked towards the caverns, making a point to stop and see Ken first.

I smiled down at her and helped her up. “I don't know what's down there but I wanted you to know that what you did for me here.... taking care of me, watching over me.” I pulled in a breath. “It didn't mean nothing.”

She smiled at me and I smiled right back. “I'm a bit terrified here, not of you... just this is new for me.”

We moved closer, our arms enveloping each other. “I'm going in there, getting our thing and I'm gonna move heaven and earth to get back.” I leaned in and kissed her softly, smiling as I pulled back. “And just in case you weren't sure... I'm coming back for you... so you wait for me.”

She smiled and squeezed me tighter, whispering. “Definitely.” She pulled back and handed me something. I looked at the gift and grinned. It was a Lara Croft pick ax, like the one from the video game. She got me.

I stepped back, still smiling as I clipped the ax on my belt. I gave a last glance back before I followed B into the darkness.

We repelled down into blackness. Before our feet hit the cavern floor things were on us.

We'd always been good together in a pinch and we put our backs together and cut down the things in the darkness. “Stay close.” She whispered as I broke some glow sticks and threw them around the area. I pulled out a flashlight and panned around the area.

She reached up and wiped some blood from my lip. “How're you feeling?” She queried as we made our way deeper into the maze.

“Been better.” I stated.

I saw her cut her eyes from me and I stalled and faced her. “This is a one way ticket for me huh?”

She looked at the ground, silent. “Well that sucks.” I breathed out. I looked ahead, motioning. “I take it that's the thing I've gotta walk through that you can't?” I asked.

She nodded. I nodded and sighed. “So I go in, most likely fighting, get to the thing, grab it and fight back to this opening and plunge it through to you.... I can't come back through cause it's a trade off, right?”

Again with the silence. I blew out a harsh breath. “You know.. honesty would've went a long way here... and saved a helluva lot of heartache.”

I stepped forward and turned facing her again. “So you've got a real shot at making the world safer for you guys to live in, right?”

“Yeah... we believe we do.” She stated.

I reached out and grabbed the scythe. She started to protest as I gave her my swords. “Hey... I'm gonna need all the help I can get on the inside.” I pulled the scythe out of her hands, blew out a breath and stalked forward to the swirling mass of energy. I glanced back over my shoulder. “It was real with Ken, wasn't it?” I hesitated. “It wasn't something y'all did just to get me here?”

She looked up into my eyes and nodded no. “It was real.” She answered.

I smiled. “Don't let her wait forever.” I saw a few tears fall from her eyes and I gripped the scythe and stepped through the doorway.

11,

I stepped through and got pushed into the dirt by flying things. I pulled the automatic and fired, the blasts hitting them and causing debris to fall down from the ceiling. I scanned the area and moved in deeper, looking around.

A huge snake slithered towards me. I fired, nothing. I holstered the weapon and swung the blade hitting it center mass. The blade dug in and stuck. I grabbed the pick ax, pulled it from my belt and buried it between the things eyes. It rose up and took me with it, slinging me right and left before it smashed me against some rocks. I slide down to the ground, shaken and dizzy, glad to see that I wasn't the only thing suffering with a headache.

I crawled over to the beast and pulled out my ax and B's blade. I wiped them on my pants and hung the ax back on my belt.

I looked around and up. I froze, smiling. There, above. It was there. It was glowing... a small sphere, about the size of a softball. It's was greenish yellow with flecks of blue flashing inside it. It's was above a ravine, nestled on an outcropping of stone.

It was pretty high up. Not gonna be easy regardless and one fall, well I sure as hell wasn't gonna bounce if I hit the ground.

I pulled rope from my pack and put it back on. I cut a piece and made me a makeshift harness, tied the rest of the rope to my pick ax and threw it several times until It caught on something on top of the outcropping above.

I put my weight on it, swinging until it felt firm, set. I strapped on the scythe, securing it. I looked around the area then above. I jumped, latched on and started climbing to the top.

The flying creatures took advantage of my predicament. They flew at me, their talons slashing as they dove past. I almost lost hold several times. All they did was push me to climb faster. I could hear something below now. I glanced downward and saw shadows moving. I used my feet and helped propel myself upward and to the top. I grabbed hold of the rock just before my ax fell past me. I dug in and climbed harder, throwing myself over the ledge and I scooted away from the drop off point.

Something tugged the rope and I fell and slid towards the drop. I grabbed hold of something jutting up from the rock and wrapped the rope around it. I pulled hard and the rope gave. I wrapped it up quickly, pulling that ax back up to me. I stood up and got knocked on my back by one of those flying things. I righted myself and drew my weapon, firing at them as they swarmed me.

When they cleared I was cut to pieces. I felt for the scythe, making sure it was still strapped to my back. I looked around, wondering how I was gonna get across to the sphere.

Lara Croft. That sexy new one, not the old one. I could kiss her if she were here. My idea... well I'd either die or look cool as hell.

I was gonna take a play out of the game and jump for all I'm worth, hoping to snag a hold with the ax. If I could do it in the video game, hell I could do it here, right?

I untied the ax. Used the rope to make a lasso... albeit it was limp but I was gonna try to toss it over and loop the pedestal the sphere was on. After about 40 tries I finally managed to snag it. I pulled the loop tight and tested it. I looped it through my homemade harness, tying it off.

I gripped the ax and tightened the wrist strap, locking it over my wrist. I breathed slowly, in, out, my eyes scanning for the spot to dig the blade in. I ran, faster towards the drop.

I jumped, my arms flailing, pretty sure I was screaming. I plunged the ax forward into the rock, crashing against the jagged stones, my face taking the brunt of the impact. My hand grasped for any hold I could find, my feet following suit.

I'm pretty sure I just cried a bit, maybe peed just a wee bit as well. I pulled the rock blade out and shoved it in higher, following it up. I could feel my face dripping blood where the rocks cut into it. I shook my head, trying to get it out of my eyes. I continued upwards, until I could get my leg over the edge.

I laid half on, half off, panting, I scooted as far back from the edge as I could and pulled myself to a standing position. I looked down. The rope was almost as long as the drop; maybe 3 feet to spare. I hooked my ax back into the clamp on my belt and touched the sphere.

It was shocking, literally. My hair stood on end. I shoved it in my pack and shimmied down the rope to the floor. I righted myself and took off for the entrance. I stopped and looked around. I was lost.

I almost lost it. I went total girl and cried though. Who was gonna tell? I closed my eyes and sat down.

I smiled and looked up. I felt her. I knew the way. I looked back at that pedestal in the air. I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a trail marker. I smiled and marked my way to Ken.

I saw the swirling energy and moved forward and sunk into the floor. I tried to think. I was basically in quicksand. I tried not to struggle. I flattened myself, inching out of it bit by bit, until I was on top of the muck and could crawl out. It felt like it took forever and It probably did.

I tried sticking my arm through the entrance but couldn't. Guess I wouldn't be going after all. I pulled the sphere out, looked at it and emptied my pack before placing the orb back in the bag I stowed the water and food in my pockets. I tossed the bag carefully at the doorway and watched as it fell through to the other side.

I was happy for a few seconds before I realized I was alone and trapped. This time I really did sit down and cry.

12.

The pack fell through and crashed to the ground startling the slayer in the cavern. She looked in the pack, smiled and wiped a few tears from her face as she stared into the entryway.

She sucked in a breath and quietly made her way to the mouth of the cave.

She climbed up and out, stalling as she saw Kennedy look up at her, then behind her. The blonde slayer felt guilt wash over her and she looked past the girl now crying and into the eyes of her consort. She nodded to the redhead and looked back at Kennedy still sitting in that circle.

She walked slowly towards Ken. “No.” Kennedy spat. “I'm not moving. I'm her line out. If I leave she can't get out.”

The blonde nodded and silently walked away.

Ken called over a few of her friends. “Make sure they left secure ropes for her to get out.” Ken stated. “They're gonna leave her behind.” Her small group looked at the originals. “Gonna need protection to keep things off of me til she can get out.” They nodded and got to work.

The witch walked up to the leader. “What you want to do?”

The slayer, looked at her friend and back to the woman sitting inside the circle still. “I want to give her time.” Willow nodded.

“She knew.” The slayer stated, void of emotion. She looked at the ginger. “She guessed it was a one way ticket and.. and she still went in to try to give us all a shot at a better life.”

She looked back to Kennedy. “We're gonna have to tell her eventually.” She hesitated. “I'm so sick of all the lying.” She wiped at her eyes. “We were supposed to be better than this.” She walked off, handing over the small pack to the witch.

Willow opened the bag and gazed at the glowing sphere.

13.

I could still feel the ties to Ken. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I let the feeling fill me.

I looked up, thinking. Something was swirling in my mind. I ran. I had an idea.

I finally made it back to the outcropping above and started climbing back up. I didn't have a clue how long I'd been in here but I knew you had to make a trade. As of right now. I was the trade. I was a slayer, powerful, magic, a tool to defeat the powers of dark. I pulled B's blade off my back. “Sorry B.” I muttered to myself.

I sat it on top of the pedestal, or to be more blunt, the alter, a place of offering. I watched as it started glowing. I smiled and shimmied down the rope and ran all the way back, following the marks I'd left earlier.

I'd ran til I was ready to puke. I didn't want to find out I couldn't get through. I didn't see any other way out. I ran and flung myself at the mass of swirls and hit something hard, I fell to the ground.

I lie there, my head throbbing, my shoulder banged up. I forced myself to open my eyes and look around. I sat up, wincing. I smiled and ran towards the entrance.

No way I could climb with my shoulder messed up. I pulled the automatic and fired into the cavern. Hoping the echos would bring someone to help.

Kennedy looked up from the circle, her eyes and ears zeroing in on the mouth of the cave. “Buffy!” She yelled. “Buffy!”

Ken started to run for the opening but stopped before she broke the circle.

Buffy ran to Kennedy, stopped and followed her line of sight. She took off for the entrance and peered into the darkness. “I can't see.” She yelled, grabbing hold of a rope and easing down into the darkness.

She hit the ground a little too fast and lost her footing. She turned and I stood before her, beat to hell and back but smiling. “How bad are you hurt?” She asked.

“I can't climb out.” I looked myself over. “Might need some stitches in a few places... got a few broken bones.” I breathed out a breath of relief. “Can you tie me off and hoist my ass outta here?” I asked.

She smiled at me, nodding, before hugging me. I wrapped my good arm around her and squeezed in return.

“This is nice and all but I'm not so sure those things can't get out and come after me.” She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes wide. She nodded and ran the rope around me.

I heard commotion above and looked up into the face of another slayer. “Get a few to help pull her out.” Buffy called out. She waited til I started my ascent and grabbed another rope and climbed with me, helping to keep me from crashing against the wall. I was already a walking bruise, didn't need any more.

I groaned in pain as they grabbed me and pulled me over the lip of the drop off. I sat there and waited, hoping someone would pull me up onto my feet. It was Buffy. She wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled my good arm over her shoulder and started walking me back towards the camp.

I stalled as I saw Kennedy. She stood up, staring back at me. She smiled and ran at me like a bat out of hell. She collided with me and knocked me off my feet and onto my ass.

It hurt like hell but I could only laugh and smile. I knew it was an accident. I kept the groaning to a minimum as she helped me back up and over to be assessed for treatment.

I felt Willow as she approached. I looked at her and gave her a nod. She smiled, squeezed B's shoulder and watched from the sidelines.

Buffy really started looking at me, her face scrunched up. “Faith... where's my scythe?” She asked.

I jerked my head towards her, thinking. “Snake ate it?” I offered. She squinted her eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes. “I traded it for me.” I shrugged my shoulders.

Kennedy laughed, smiling. “That's a good damn trade.” She turned and looked at B.

Buffy rolled her eyes, relenting. “Yeah, okay, that's a good trade.”

14.

Did we change the new world? Maybe, kinda, sorta. Vampires went back to our usual kind of vamp. No more zombies were gonna claw their way up from the ground unless someone magicked them up. We just had to kill off the ones already here. No more people going nuts, unless they were prone to it naturally.

So, yeah it's better. It's not fixed yet but we're working on it. We're not sure if we're the last people left on earth or not. Hopefully we're not and we just haven't found the others yet.

If we are... well then Xander will be extremely busy repopulating. Well we still have Andrew, well I guess we could have jar babies.

Me and Ken? We're tight and we're of the good. We're on our way with the group to a colder climate. All these rotting bodies, well they're just ripe enough to make us all sick. So we're off.

We've got a big truck now and we move as a unit. We just have to outlast the ones that are left. So far so good.

Oh yeah, no more slayer dreams with B either. I finally found what I was looking for and needing. I had it all now and I was right. It was all I'd ever wanted.

Sometimes B would forget and she'd say something a bit too risque but one thing I can say about special K... she shut that shit down quick.

No lie.... she shut that shit down.