Now (Buffy)
“You know, you’d think that after being gone for so long, you’d be more aware of others.” Your voice makes her jump as she comes into the room, dropping her jacket as she bangs into the back of the other arm chair.
“Jesus Christ B. You scared the shit outta me.” You don’t respond, just look at her and after a minute she frowns at you, wondering why you’re not speaking. “I’m a big girl y’know, you don’t have to wait up ‘til I get in.”
You chuckle in the back of your throat, but nothing about it’s filled with humour.
“I lost you for more than a year, I don’t think worrying about my best friend ‘cause it’s three in the morning, when she said she’d be back for twelve, at the latest, is too strange of a concept.” She sighs as she bends over to pick up her jacket. You’ve had this talk before, but she just can’t seem to grasp your fear. She doesn’t understand it, when really it’s so goddamn simple.
She was dead for more than a year. She came back. You’re terrified of losing her again. Worse; of not knowing you’d lost her until you got that freezing cold, empty feeling inside again. The cold that comes from the absence of feeling her.
“B..”
“This should be the easiest thing in the world for you to understand Faith, but I guess you need a deeper reason.” You settle back in your seat a bit and look her dead in the eye, making damn sure she sees you with all your walls down. “I wasn’t living when you were gone. I was just existing. I did my job, I did the slaying, but I was just doing what had to be done. I didn’t get it at first. I mean yeah, I’ve lost people, but I could always carry on, get past it, continue living. But with you? I felt like this huge part of me was gone, and the rest of me didn’t know what the hell to do without it. It took me a while to figure out why, and when I did I cried for three days.”
“What’re you telling me B?”
“That I’m in love with you.” Shocked silence washes over the room while you let that sink in, before you start talking again. “I’m not telling you for any reason other than why I get so scared when you don’t come home when you say you will. And now you know, so feel free to forget I said that.”
Faith was across the room in three strides, her jacket carelessly tossed on to the sofa, as she knelt between your legs. She cupped the side of your neck and gently tugged you forward. “The fuck I will, ‘cause now I can stop pretending that I’m not crazy in love with you too.”
And then she kisses you.
You forget to breathe for a second, until you feel her tongue brush your bottom lip, then you open your mouth and gasp at the sensation of her tongue gently caressing your own.
She reluctantly pulls away , breathing heavily as she speaks, her fingers caressing the skin just under your ear. “Dawn could wake up.” You clear your throat, running a hand through her hair as you look into her eyes.
“Right. We can continue this tomorrow.” God you hope she wants to continue this now, in the privacy of a bedroom.
“Whoa there. Slow your roll. I might be responsible but I ain’t stupid.” Oh thank god.
You give her your naughty little half smile. “Your room or mine?”
She returns your naughty smile with one of her own. “Yours.”