Not My Generation
I just found this story and gobbled it up so fast, I love the post apocalyptic story especially how Faith and Buffy switched places but not in the way that it felt it was condemning Buffy.
I've always loved the idea of Wishverse!Buffy, but this is Buffy at her extreme and her most primal Slayer like.
I know its been years since you last updated, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your story! Thank you for sharing :)
Really interested in this!
just reread the first 13 chapters! your a great writer. hope you get back to this story and finish it! like all of your characterizations, a crazy buffy is really interesting, and a strong faith is well worth reading! please finish this story, please!
The long awaited chapter 13! It was a good chapter. I liked the nightmare and the scene with Willow and Faith. The relationships between Faith and Willow and Xander are very interesting, especially with Buffy back in the picture.
Buffy's serious mental issues rearing their ugly head after so many moments when it felt like the real Buffy was heading back to the driver's seat was so disappointing. Realistic, but hard to read.
I'm surprised there is any military left to stop people from getting back in the US. With the way things were going, I thought they'd be spread too thin to really be watching the border.
Character development wise, it was a strong chapter. My only complaint is that it feels like the deep breath before something else terrible, but there's no next chapter to read. I hope you'll update soon. Did writing this one so quickly get you more in the mood to keep going?
Author's Response:This chapter was always going to feel like an intermission and it may feel like nothing major happened because of what i had to cut out and put in chapter 14. It has put me in the mood to write and with chapter 14 already half done the next update shouldnt be too long. I mean that with no trace of sarcasm. Happy you like the dynamic between the gang, sorry for making Buffy crazy-ier again, its something that needs to happen, bare with it and wait for the next chapter to shed some more light on why buffy has become what she is.
The army thing was just to throw another obstacle in their way but with where they were, so close to cleveland, it made sense for some military presence around the area with it being demonstrated earlier in the story how the military is aware of the other hellmouth. Thanks for taking the time to rereview and leave me great feedback, i hope to keep you enthused with the story till the end.
I had totally forgotten the reveal about Buffy and the little boy. :( God. Poor Buffy. I think with each chapter we're seeing a little more of the real Buffy, and I'm excited about that because I love her.
I like the idea of them going on the open road for a while, but I hope they at least call Giles. It's not right to let him think they're dead!
Liked the moment with Xander hugging Faith, and loved Willow teleporting in. Xander and Willow are both really enjoyable in this fic, and that's coming from someone who's not a big fan of either.
Author's Response:Aww, I made you like Willow and you hate her with a fiery passion. I am touched. You touched me. Okay, you can stop now. :P
Aha, yeah good ol' Buffy...sure we'll see more of the normal Buffy in chapter 13...yup...mm hmm.
Loved the Buffy/Faith bonding, and loved them fighting too, actually. Oh Canada. Not even demons want to go there. I'm curious about what happened to all the other magical people. How'd they get deep fried?
Author's Response:The extra crispy humans get explained in a way in Chapter 13. Other than that I wouldn't read too much into it apart from the fact Willow was just the strongest of the group and managed to scrape through. I think the two soldiers were just lucky enough to get brought along for the ride and I didn't want it to just be the main protaganists making it through, it seemed too...suspect.
I want to know too. What happened in there?? And did Faith do the right thing or the wrong thing, according to Lorne's vision?!
The she left, she left us bit made me think of Jurassic Park. :p
I see my question about the rest of Angel's gang is sort of answered. They did live through it. But they're not in Salt Lake so where are they? Oh my god. Did you kill Wesley? How could you!?
I liked Dawn's casual foray into alcoholism, and Giles's reactions to everything.
Do the other eventually find out what Buffy did to Faith? Because I remember Willow saying something about how Buffy hurt Faith the most.
Author's Response:I think I'm gonna write what happened in that room in the next chapter. I think it's time I stopped skirting around it. How you react to it will be...interesting.
I'm actually glad you took so long to update, because now I get to re-read each gut wrenching chapter like it's the first time. This chapter was fantastic. The fuffy moments. The bangel, which I freaking love. Faith's complete lack of concern over Spike's death, which I totally agreed with. So. Much. Awesome.
I love Angel, and his death resonated with me so hard. Damn it! Not Angel! Take Giles! Okay, not Giles. Oh! Take Willow, Xander, and Dawn. I'll trade all three for Angel. Where was Gunn? I don't remember, did we learn in the published chapters what happened to Fred, Wes, and Lorne? Are we to assume they're dead?
Angel working for W&H was not my favorite plot, but I think you did it justice here. All the funny stuff (fucking Eve) while having someone clearly state they are displeased with this evil alliance, plus ending the world before we lost Fred, Wes, or Gunn. Plus Spike's still dead. Excellent.
Loved Angel's final I love you to Buffy, as well his permission giving to Faith. For me, this is probably the best chapter of the fic so far. Loved it.
Author's Response:No one is that glad I took this long to update but thank you for saying it. :P
Sorry for knocking off Angel, he would have been fun to write but it felt necessary I made Buffy feel truly helpless; if she can't save a champion like Angel what chance has she of protecting her very human, very mortal friends? I think that's what I imagined that was the line of thinking that consumed her and why she ultimately just cracked up and ran away from it all. She didn't want to have to watch them die.We do see the Angel gang here and very soon you will know what has happened to at least a few of them.
I wanted to make Angel giving Faith "permission" more of his attempt at humour at an inappropriate time rather than be deadly serious. Otherwise it just reads as kind of hammy and unbelievable. I mean, I think I wanted it implied he suspected Faith had a thing for Buffy what with her obsession with her and her forgiveness and the very unsubtle way she reacted to him asking her to take Buffy out would probably not go unnoticed. Happy to hear how much you loved this chapter. :)
I don't want to celebrate Wood's death when Faith's so up--no, I'll still celebrate. Woot! He's dead! I love character death in fic, what can I say?
I like the moments when Buffy feels like her again, ie the admission that she didn't actually know she was saving Faith's bacon. Regarding what you said before about how you're surprised people like crazy Buffy, I don't remember how I felt about her the first time, but I don't particularly love her now. I mean, I don't hate her, but I miss original flavor Buffy.
I like the progression in the First, where it can inhabit people. Although I was sad to see it happen to the general because I liked his character. I wish there were more fuffy feeling moments in this. I liked Faith injured and Buffy helping her for that reason. Plus it makes me feel like she's still our Buffy deep down. She will risk her own ass to save Faith's, and I felt that when she was hauling Faith around, and standing in front of her at the elevator.
The last scene, their desperate escape attempt, all of it riding on Willow, when she's so messed up, was so suspenseful. I loved it.
Author's Response:You meanie! Poor Wood. Ah well he was a pretty THROW AWAY character anyway. aha. aha ha.
I suppose there isn't a great amount of fuffy feeling in this story so far but the concept is pretty dark and smothered with angst, with the odd bit of humour injected so it doesn't make people want to cut themselves. I do intend to have a stronger fuffy element as we progess so be patient and you shall be rewarded. :)
Glad you found that last scene tense, t'was my intent.
Boom! You certainly don't waste any time.
Scene set in just a few simple Faith-like sentences.
"Private Charlie Samson." HAHAHA!!! Poor guy.
Faith's conversation with Giles is...awkward and wicked tense. It makes complete sense that the whole world isn't being overrun at once, but how bizarre it must be that everything's normal over there: "How privileged you are."
Then he starts to ask about Buffy, and Faith is done with that conversation from the get-go:
"'No.' Her tone was suddenly icy."
That short response and the rest of their abbreviated conversation is fascinating. Clearly something's gone down between Buffy and The Scoobies, but Faith's taking it personally. She also seems to have some valid high ground since Giles is apologizing and awkward and lets her shut him down with a "Rupert". That's fascinating and I'm dying to know what exactly happened.
"Sorry, Giles. Gotta work." makes me think of Buffy's attitude, although Faith appears to be sane and sober.
Loved this: "But Willow had already vanished. No doubt off to check the magical defenses. Or maybe sit in a dark room and cry. Most people liked that option lately."
Man, you sum up so much with so few words. This world is overwhelmingly bleak and anyone can go at any time. Through death or just by giving up, and they all know it. Such fantastic writing :)
Love Faith's cocky, rally the troops attitude: "Whoever hits the highest body count gets me for the night." It soundsjust like her: "Miss Morale Keeper Upper", and it really brings out the camaraderie they must be feeling. Especially when you realize any of them could be dead in a minute.
The battle scene was again easy to visualize, I hate the leader as much as Faith does and I want revenge for that scar. It was plenty scary when it seemed like the good guys were going to get overwhelmed:
"Oh, you have got to be shittin' me..." If only, F.
And this made me laugh right out loud:
"...Xander's giant head looked down at her." HAHAHA!!!
His report is deadly serious, but he's still all Xander:
"Our artillery is the rock to their scissors. S'what happens when you bring Roman toys to the table and we're sporting 21st century kickass."
I just felt so happy to hear him being Xander, I wanted to give him a great big hug.
What a reaction Faith has to Buffy's presence. It's so cool:
"She'd felt this connection before. This intense sixth sense. But not with this baggage. The connection was damaged. Cracked, bleeding, wrong. She felt refreshed and nauseous at the same time."
Loved the image of Crazy Buffy -- "...perched atop a commercial building, legs swinging gaily over the edge." That's quite an entrance.
Then: " a storm of emotions" in Faith expression..."Each one evidently battling its way past months of repression to reach the surface and Xander Harris suddenly saw how much Faith had sacrificed to keep herself together these past, gruelling weeks."...just stirs up all of the stuff in the: "We Don't Know Yet" pot.
I believe I may have just constructed the most convoluted sentence in feedback history! Please hold all applause until the end ;)
Another great chapter just jam packed with great writing, thrilling action, right on the money characterizations, and perfect pacing.
In case you can't tell: I am LOVING this story :) :) :)
This is a great buildup with some big reveals too.
It was great how you presented the normal world with normal people still trying to do normal things...only there is no normal here anymore, they just don't quite get that yet. It was terrfiyingly real, the way the truth came out into the open and how quickly it all became something else.
Bill being irritated about the traffic jam, the huge military presence, trying to get to his family like anyone would, the soldier and his gun, noticing the red clouds, and then the look of horror on the face of the driver letting him into the line of the exiting cars.
The whole bar scene with the various characters was wonderful, but NOTHING can top Buffy's introduction! That was incredibly perfect and holy shit! Everything said was freaky and scary, and what the hell?
"Killed my Spike killed my Angel tried to help...didn't work. Badidea. Shouldofknownbetter!" Did I already say: "What the hell?" Because I definitely meant to. Fuck.
Then she's delivering the bad news about dead families and the sitch with giggles. Shit.
I can't believe I could actually laugh, but the fact that Buffy still makes that noise and face when she drinks alcohol...HAHAHA!!!
"Good call, barkeep. A girl shouldn't go to work drunk."
That's sad, amusing, heroic, disturbing, it's all kinds of stuff and makes it pretty clear how Buffy is still doing her job, even if she is drunk, crazy, and grief stricken. She's somehow less than she was, but she's somehow more too. She's definitely FUBAR, but she's going out swinging.
Just the sight of her weapon and of her has everybody freaking out, me included. Your description of her is terrifying on a bunch of different levels, and it's great how the bartender had his gun taken away...Just like that. Then Crazy B's twirling it like a baton and all of these moments are providing us with a look at where Buffy Summers is right now: physically and mentally, and it's a mighty scary place to be.
The way the military lost control and all hell broke loose in the blink of the eye was really scary, and I felt like I could see all of the chaos and destruction unfolding.
It was awesome when Buffy saved Bill and I loved this description:
"The face of a survivor. A warrior. A goddess."
That kind of says it all and if it doesn't, this picks up any loose ends:
"I'm Buffy...and I'll be your Slayer for the evening." Wow, that is cool.
"No, really?" HAHAHA!!! Way better usage than in Season 7 :)
It's amazing that Buffy can be so damaged, but that there are still glimpses of "our" Buffy. The way she saves him and gives him the facts to this new reality are Buffy things, but the way she delivers the info, the way she says: "Bored now." and "Things to kill." when he can't comprehend the truth fast enough is something, somebody else.
I get the sense that she gave him a shot, but he's obviously too weak to survive for long anyway, and in that regard he's just a dime a dozen to her. She can't and won't waste the time on repeatedly saving him, he'll get himself killed all too soon anyway, and there are millions of people living and dying all the time around her who are just like him.
That image of her: Skipping off to her own personal playground of death and horror, is just crazy powerful and horrifyingly comforting somehow.
His last thoughts being all about: "A girl named Buffy."
And then your last line:
"Pity he never took her advice."
I loved your writing there.
See ya, Bill. You have to be faster, smarter, and tougher to survive in this new horrow show of a world. She gave you a shot and man, did I feel for him. And for a girl named Buffy.
Great chapter! :)
I can't decide. Is this a ripsnorting start or a powerhouse of a beginning?
There is so much I could just quote back to you and that's been true for every chapter I've read so far. I'll just hit on some stuff that really stood out for me.
"Death is her gift and it follows her and her friends." Okay, that's just so cool and calls up all kinds of emotions.
"An insurmountable body count rising every day.
It's hundreds.
Then thousands.
Then millions."
The way you wrote that, line after line, made it really add up. They're not just words, but actual bodies, and I feel like I can see each and every one of them piling on Buffy.
"She must stay focused. Has to lead. Has to fight. Slay. Kill. Breathe. Live another day."
Whoa -- that is some fantastic writing! She's right there leading the battle while she struggles with the anger and the guilt, but then she begins getting whittled down to the most basic of instincts.
"The anger turns to reckless abandon to madness to insanity."
By the time anybody notices how far gone she is, it's too late:
"In Buffy's dream, she's lost her fucking mind."
That for me is just about the most heartbreaking line I've ever read. This hero, this brave girl who has gone through so much over the years, who has saved the world a lot, has now finally broken.
"The world with all its weight rests upon her shoulders yet it is a single death that finally breaks her back. One more death that she cannot possibly endure."
I was reading this on BnF and making notes, then came over here and saw you'd tinkered a bit. So I'm assuming that refers to the part you took out? Or perhaps not and you're going someplace else with it? Either way, it's nothing but sad.
This is such an amazing start. Setting the mood, giving the reader just enough to let them understand what's going on, all the while making it clear we don't understand a damn thing. Saying I'm horrified and intruigued is such a mega understatement.
"Just a dream."
It's just the Prologue and I'm already all shook up and writing feedback longer than the actual chapter :)
Author's Response:Wow, thanks for the amazing feedback, Bobbi! Really appreciate it after a long day at work and coming back to see this has just slapped a smile on my face. :)
In response to your query about the change I made basically I realised I'd spoiled my own story in the prologue by making it obvious which death sends Buffy over the edge. This way, with it now more ambiguous, new readers (or even the ones who read this a year ago and have now forgotten what the hell happened!) can have it be a surprise. :)I have made little tweaks here and there in the other chapters along with proof reading, but nothing that alters the plot in a noticable way. Just filling in a few gaps really.
Thanks, again. Can't wait to see what you have to say for the rest of the story!
Oh, crazy Buffy. Why you gotta do Willow that way? I mean, I'm glad Kennedy's dead but I wouldn't say that to her. God.
Wood, I couldn't care less about and I look forward to his death, which I remember will be coming up. :D
The picture you've painted outside the compound is great. There's not a constant onslaught again her as soon as she steps out because the demons don't have to do that. They're just hanging out like, yeah, this is our world now. Very effective and creepy picture.
Author's Response:Ah you beat me to it haha. Wood is a tad...wooden. badum dum tsh! He never felt like the most outgoing of character's but I did my best with him here and I hope I made the relationship between him and Faith feel genuine and their banter humourous at the least.
With the world building aspect of things, I think I was trying to do a slow build to a full on attack on the compound. But that feeling of a dark, destroyed city fillled with demons and monsters waiting to skirmish with soldiers and slayers rather than attack in a big rush of numbers felt more believable.Right, I best go read through chapter 8 and upload it before I change my mind! :P
Okay, something very weird happened. I opened the prologue, opened it in the reader thing on iPhone's safari, and proceeded to get started on my re-read. The reader put everything up until the end of this chapter there. I thought it was pretty long, but I know you have a hard time cutting off the chapters so I just thought you really went to town writing that prologue. It didn't even occur to me that e-reader was doing something wonky. Wtf. So yes, I read up until this point now. Grrr.
Let me say something about this chapter specifically since Reader fucked all my plans up.
I like the character of the General. Actually I really like the inclusion of the military in general in the fic. It's a really interesting direction, to take this supernatural crazy shit and put it in the context of a real world scenario, like there are refugees, and the government functions in some regard, trying to keep the country from being a complete lost cause. Plus it gives you red shirts to kill. :)
I wonder what makes a hellmouth basically explode. Because no one's been watching the Cleveland one for years and nothing major has happened. I also wonder what the difference is between them. Are their multiple hells, and each one is linked to a different hellmouth so they're each a bit unique? So many questions the show didn't answer. Here we can assume it's the First's machinations. :) And boy do I love reading about those.
Author's Response:Oh dear, how strange. Bad e-reader! No. Don't do that.
I did try to ground the story in reality while sticking with the feel of the show and keeping the characters feeling and sounding like themselves. I'm glad you like Xander and Willow. Sometimes I worry I made them two too happy or suddenly too sad for it not to make sense. Think I got away with it for the most part. I still don't get the big hubbabaloo about crazy Buffy. The more I read of her the more she seems like a petulant child who's just out to dick with everyone. I wanted her more sinister than anything, I think there's a little of that shown in her, namely when she fights.You mention the General who was in chapter 6 so am I to presume you read chapter 7 too? Just odd you chose to review from the 2nd to most recent uploaded chapter, worried you missed one.
Dear God, this is so *good*... MOAR!
Author's Response:My friend, you do realise there's like 6 -7 more chapters of this story on fanfiction.net and BuffynFaith.net?
I mean I'm properly proof reading and updating them on this site only so you're welcome to wait around for them if you wish but just thought I'd let you know. :)
It's been so long since I read this that it all felt completely new to me. I can't remember now who was the death that finally sent her over the edge, as you alluded to here? Initially I was thinking Dawn, but she's alive and well in England. How weird is it that the non connected to US countries are still just continuing as usual while all this is happening?
Buffy's map was just as creepy the second time around. I am just as excited to see Kennedy die this time around too. :) No Kennedy always improves the story.
I like Xander and Willow here. They feel very in character, especially Xander. He's not one of my favorites, but when he's written to be the best of himself, that improves him greatly.
In short, I love this just as much as I did the first time I read it.
Author's Response:Thanks hun. :) I call people I like hun, deal with it grouchy. :P
I suppose it is weird to think of the rest of the world going about its business while America goes into meltdown. But there is this air of conspiracy and covering it up - I like to think the same military "geniuses" behind the Intiative programme thought it would be best to try and contain the problem themselves and don't forget this is pre-Iraq war America when they still thought they could do anything and win. :P
But you will see how this will begin to affect the world soon enough. The chaos will spread and to be honest I am starting to visualize where this story will end up and I don't think it will be particularly cheerful.
But that's ahead of us - probably quite far given my track record. I assume you've read all the chapters I've posted on here and are awaiting the rest. I'll do my best to get at least 1 or 2 more uploaded tonight for you. :)
Great start, author. Now get to it!
ZOMG MIKE YOU NEED TO WRITE MORE AND MORE AND MORE BECAUSE, because ... YOU HAVE TO!
Anyway, hai! Did I ever mention how much I liked this prologue, and the way it plunges us straight into the nightmare of your twisted, post-apocalypse world?
Possibly. :P
I also liked the way you didn't make it heavy angst, as with this kind of genre it is very easy just to slip into a mass of dramatic words and phrases that can be a little OTT - but you balanced it out very well here. Even the short sentences - usually a bad idea when they don't contain a noun and verb - work very well. They add to the drama and tension. A good writer can pull that kind of stuff off effectively.
So now I've complimented you and stuff, yet again, WILL YOU WRITE MORE?
WILLLL YOOOOOOUUUUU??!
Hugs and cookies,
Squee. :D
Author's Response:You may have also noticed that I proofread and changed a few small parts. One part in particular that contradicts what actually happens later in the story...aha. Big gaps in updating will make you forget what you said to begin with!
I was surprised by how well formed this prologue felt when reading it yesterday before I posted it on here. It has fed some old creative passion into my blood and you'll be glad to know I spent the most part of a 2 hour train journey (both ways) writing material for the next chapter of Not My Gen. :)
It is coming, Squee. It is returning.
-gladly eats all of your cookies and hugs (what can I say I find you appetising too ;P)-