The Girl from Away

Prologue

The moment Buffy understands she will have to jump into Glory’s portal, she feels nothing but relief. It isn’t that she wants to die; she doesn’t. The fact is that the shivering girl in her arms, her real even though she isn’t sister, is the most important thing in the world to her, and saving her is something Buffy will gladly die for.

“I have to go,” Dawn cries weakly from inside the circle of her sister’s arms.

“No,” Buffy replies fiercely. Over Dawn’s shoulder, her eyes meet her lover’s. She can see the understanding and acceptance in Faith’s face, even as tears stream freely over her cheeks.

“Buffy, I have to!” Dawn struggles against her, ready to fling herself off this rickety tower if it means their world will keep spinning.

Tearing her eyes from Faith’s, Buffy looks at her baby sister. She cups the girl’s face in her palms. “Dawn, listen to me. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do.”

Sobbing, Dawn shakes her head.

Faith approaches them, and Buffy turns her attention to the other slayer. Faith tries to speak, but her face crumples, and she only manages to let out a strangled cry. The slayers fall against each other, kissing hard and desperately. “I love you,” Buffy tells her as soon as her lips are free. “I love you so much, Faith.”

Crying, Faith buries her face in the other girl’s hair. “I love you.”

Buffy blinks away the tears in her eyes, drinking in Faith, knowing it’s the last time she’ll ever see her. “Tell the gang…” She trails off, unable to put her feelings into words. She’s gone into life or death battles before, but never has she known with such certainly that she’s going to die.

“I’ll tell them,” Faith promises, understanding.

Raising her hand, Buffy touches Faith’s face for the final time. “I don’t regret a single minute with you.” She lets her hand fall away, looking over her shoulder at the ever widening portal.

Faith puts her arm around Dawn, pulling the sobbing girl against her side.

“Take care of her,” Buffy says softly, looking at her sister. She leans in and presses a final tender kiss to Dawn’s forehead.

“Always,” Faith chokes out.

Buffy nods. She looks at the two people she loves most in the world and she smiles. She knows they’ll take care of each other. As she turns and runs down the platform, she isn’t angry at the Powers for letting this happen. She has no room left in her heart for bitterness and regret. She’s loved, so much, and that gives her the strength she needs. Closing her eyes, Buffy dives into the crackling portal.

Chapter One

Dawn is curled in the chair by Buffy’s bed, fast asleep despite her contortion, when Giles enters the room. There’s been no change in Buffy’s condition yet. He’s trying to remain hopeful, but in his heart of hearts, Giles is afraid there won’t ever be a change. A person doesn’t just jump into a portal to a hell dimension and come out unscathed. He doesn’t have it in him to say that to the others. They’re still so young, too young to have paid the kind of price they’ve paid over the years. It’s only been a few days; there’s no need to cause them that amount of grief yet. So, Giles sits by Buffy’s hospital bed and he does what he does best: he organizes things. They all need rest and proper meals, and Giles encourages them to get that. He handles the paperwork for Buffy’s care. He stops by Revello Drive, collects every bill he can find, and pays each one. He desperately needs to feel useful right now. Everyone knows that the watcher usually outlives the slayer. But no matter how natural the course of events, Giles isn’t prepared for this.

Silently occupying the free chair in the room, Giles studies the face of his comatose slayer. She’s still—so motionless it’s practically macabre. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but she seems to have a little more color in her cheeks than she did when he was here earlier. Mindful of the slumbering Dawn, Giles quietly pulls his chair to her beside. He cradles Buffy’s deceptively small hand in his own and thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, of all the things he should have said to her while he had the chance.

“Giles?” A small voice croaks, and his eyes fly to Buffy’s face. Her eyelids are fluttering, clearly bothered by the overhead light.

“Buffy?” He asks, dumbfounded. “Oh dear Lord, Buffy!”

His cry wakes Dawn, who bolts upright in her seat. “What?” She asks, alarmed. “What happened?”

“She’s awake,” Giles laughs, grinning from ear to ear.

Dawn shrieks, “Buffy!” Somehow she refrains from leaping on top of her injured sister.

“Ow,” Buffy rasps, “I think only dogs and slayers can hear that pitch.” She flexes her fingers and forces her eyes to stay open.

“Shut up!” Dawn laughs, snatching her sister’s hand from the bed and squeezing it tightly. Across the bed, Dawn and Giles stare at one another with disbelieving smiles and wet eyes.

“I’ll get a doctor,” Giles says, climbing to his feet. Giving Buffy’s hand a final squeeze, he leaves the room.

“Dawnie,” Buffy whispers as her eyes flutter shut again. “So tired…”

“That’s okay,” Dawn says nervously, not knowing if it is actually okay. Buffy’s asleep again before she can say more.

XXXXX

“Are you sure she’s actually awake?” Willow’s anxious voice is the first Buffy hears as she slowly drifts back to consciousness.

“Yes,” Giles says patiently. “She spoke to us.”

Buffy takes this opportunity to speak up. “I’m awake, Will.”

“Oh, my gosh!” Willow startles, fingers immediately clasping at Tara’s sleeve.

As Buffy opens her eyes, her friends crowd around the bed. Everyone is speaking at once, reaching out to touch her as if they can’t believe she’s real. Her eyes scan their ecstatic faces, Giles and Dawn, Willow and Xander, Anya, and another woman she doesn’t recognize. A look of confusion settles on her face.

“What is it, Buffy?” Giles asks, raising his hand to quiet the others when he notices her puzzlement.

“Where’s Faith?” Buffy asks, fear bubbling up in her throat. Did something happen to her? Glory’s minions shouldn’t have been a problem after Buffy jumped into the portal, but if nothing happened, why isn’t she at Buffy’s bedside?

The gang exchange confused looks, and Willow bursts out, “Oh God, she has amnesia! She thinks it’s still graduation!”

Jumping on the paranoia train, Xander leans closer to Buffy and speaks loudly, over enunciating his words. “Graduation was two years ago. Mayor go boom.”

Annoyed, Giles puts his hands on the young man’s shoulders and guides him aside. “Buffy, what do you remember?”

Buffy stares at him with bewilderment. “I remember graduation. And everything else up until I jumped off the tower.”

“Good,” Giles says, clearly relieved. “That’s good.”

“Why would you think I have amnesia?” The slayer demands, becoming increasingly upset. “Where’s Faith? Did something happen to her?” She struggles to sit up, her body aching from her injuries.

“It’s all right, Buffy,” her watcher lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Faith is fine, as far as I know.”

“What do you mean ‘as far as you know?’” Buffy pushes past his hand, tossing her blanket off.

“Well,” Giles answers, “I don’t keep tabs on her, but I-I’m sure we would have been informed if a new slayer had been called. Buffy, please, I don’t think you should get up yet.”

Scrambling backward, Buffy shrinks away from his touch. “What are you talking about? Keeping tabs? Where is she?” Her head moves wildly as she looks around the room, as if hoping to find Faith hiding in a corner.

Giles takes a step back, waving at the others to mimic him. He doesn’t want them crowding her. Keeping his voice calm, Giles responds, “Buffy, you know where Faith is. She’s in prison. Don’t you remember?”

At this, Buffy goes still. “No,” she insists, shaking her head frantically. “No, no, no! No!” Her arms wrap around her stomach as though she is physically holding herself together. “Giles,” she says, trying desperately to keep control, “something’s wrong. Really wrong.”

XXXXX

Having checked herself out against medical advice, Buffy sits in Giles’s living room. After asking her a series of what felt like a million questions, Giles has concluded that the most likely explanation for the discrepancies in her understanding of events versus theirs is a dimensional switch. The rest of the Scooby gang is keeping their distance, watching Buffy warily. The only exception to this is Dawn, whose thin frame is leaning against her sister’s. Once you know your whole existence was created by monks and your sister isn’t really your sister, accepting a doppelganger from another dimension isn’t really a stretch. Besides, this is clearly Buffy. Dawn’s already quizzed her on their childhood and found no discrepancies. If the blonde can be believed, it seems she was a brat in all dimensions.

“Well, at least I never—”

“Told me we were playing hide and go seek just to trick me into hiding in the basement for three hours, I know, I know,” Buffy finishes her sister’s sentence with a sigh.

“Giles,” Dawn looks at him with wide eyes, “do you see how mean she is now? Six year old Dawns in all dimensions were trapped in the basement for hours.”

“We don’t know that it was all dimensions,” Giles says distractedly, his head buried in a book.

Petting her sister’s hair, Buffy protests, “It wasn’t even that bad.”

“There were bugs down there!” The younger girl practically shrieks. “Meanest sister ever.”

“I’ll remember that next time I jump in a portal to hell for you.” Buffy’s tone is dry, but her mind is galloping with worry. Did her dimension get a Buffy? Are Dawn and Faith okay? What does Faith think happened to her? Is Giles scouring his books right now, trying to bring her home?

Beside her, Dawn yawns. She’s clearly exhausted, Buffy realizes. In fact, all of them are. They’d been taking shifts at the hospital, waiting for her to wake up. That, combined with how ragged they’d all run in the weeks leading up to the final battle with Glory, has pretty much worn them out.

“Will?” Buffy asks tentatively.

The redhead looks up from the book she’s studying, surprised. “Yeah?”

It shouldn’t feel awkward talking to Willow. She’s got the kindest heart of anyone Buffy knows, in any dimension. But still, it’s kind of weird. “Would you mind taking Dawnie back to my place for a while? I guess my mom passed away here, too?”

Willow winces, “Yeah, she did. I’m sorry, Buffy.”

“Willow and Tara live with us, actually,” Dawn adds.

“Tara lives with us?” Buffy asks, surprised. Tara seems nice enough, but Buffy’s only just met her. There’s no Tara in her world. She looks to Willow for an explanation.

Flushing, Willow looks at Tara before responding. “We moved in to help with bills and stuff.”

“Right,” Buffy says, clearly confused. “I’m sorry; I don’t know Tara.”

“Oh!” Dawn helpfully cuts in before Willow can explain. “Tara’s Willow’s girlfriend. She’s super nice.” The teen smiles widely at Tara.

If Buffy’s eyebrows rise any higher, they’ll be in her hair. “Willow has a girlfriend.” What happened to Oz?

Tara and Willow link hands, and the redhead says, “I guess I just haven’t met Tara yet in your world.” She smiles reassuringly at her shy girlfriend. “Do I live with you guys, in your world?”

Buffy’s face darkens, and she shakes her head. “No.”

Willow looks like she wants to inquire further, but Giles gives her a subtle headshake. Instead she asks, “Are you going to stay long?”

“For a little while. Someone has to help Giles with his research.”

Hearing this, the watcher perks up. “Do you help with research, uh, at home?”

“Does bringing the donuts count?” Buffy asks with a hopeful look.

Giles sighs, going back to his book.

After the rest of the gang leaves, Buffy pulls up an extra chair beside Giles’s desk. “Any luck?”

Giles looks up from his reading with a frown. “Not much I’m afraid.”

“Do you think she’s in my world? Your Buffy I mean?”

Taking his glasses off, the watcher begins to polish them with a hanky. “Well, it’s difficult to know, of course. It’s possible. Glory’s portal didn’t open instantly to all worlds, or there wouldn’t have been time for you to jump in.”

Buffy nods, following his logic.

“Dimensions can be extremely different, or they can be almost the same, differing only by the smallest details. The more similar the dimensions, the more likely you would have jumped in the portal at the same time. If you jumped at precisely the same moment, then it’s possible the two of you simply, err, hopped into one another’s worlds.”

“But it’s also possible that there were like six other dimensions that were only a little different, and we’re all mixed up?”

“I’m afraid so.”

This did not sound good at all. How was Giles going to get her back to her own dimension if he couldn’t figure out which dimension that was? She could end up stuck here! The thought was almost enough to make her cry. 

Giles pats her hand comfortingly. Even knowing he isn’t the same man who trained her and worked alongside her all these years, Buffy finds his touch reassuring. “It’s funny,” she says, with a small smile, “you’re just like him.”

“Am I?” Giles smiles. “Well, it seems our worlds were moving in basically parallel tracks, so that’s not surprising.” Mindful of how upset Buffy got when Faith was mentioned earlier, the watcher tries to ask his next question gently. “If I’ve gathered correctly… it seems the largest difference between our worlds is Faith?”

Buffy stills for a moment, before she nods.

“Faith isn’t in prison. She fights with you?” Giles asks, waiting for her to fill in the blanks.

“Yes,” the slayer says quietly. “Ever since she came to Sunnydale. We’re the Chosen Two.” As she finishes speaking, tears collect in her eyes. “Giles, why is Faith in prison?”

The watcher doesn’t want to tell her. The Faith of her world obviously stayed on the straight and narrow, and she seems to be a very important person in Buffy’s life. But there’s no sense in lying; she’ll find out one way or another.

Giles says, as gently as possible, “She killed someone.”

XXXXX

When Giles drops her off, Buffy’s relieved to find she still sleeps in the same room. When she turns on the light, she discovers that’s where the similarities end. Sitting heavily on the bed, she looks around. Her real room has an extra dresser, its top littered with Faith’s makeup and her jewelry. A picture of them should be on the nightstand, next to the one of Buffy, Dawn, and their mother.

The sadness she feels is so bone deep it threatens to completely overwhelm her. Kicking off her shoes, Buffy lays back in bed. Her pillows smell clean and fresh. There is no trace of Faith’s shampoo. Not one single dark hair can be found in the sheets. Cuddling Mr. Gordo against her chest, Buffy curls her knees upward. She can only hope Giles will find a way to send her home. The alternative—a life without Faith—is unimaginable. Faith is her partner, her rock in hard times. She doesn’t know how this world’s Buffy survived losing Joyce without Faith’s arms to crawl into every night. She has to find a way back. She has to.

XXXXX

Buffy wakes up to the smell of pancakes, wafting from downstairs. She smiles, automatically turning on her side to greet her lover. Her arm finds cold, empty bed, and she sits up with a start, remembering where she is. Instantly, she loses her smile. She gets up, dresses, and makes her bed, mechanically. Her thoughts are on Giles, hoping he’s found something.

“G-good morning, Buffy,” Tara says quietly when she enters the kitchen.

“Hi,” Buffy responds, as un-awkwardly as she can manage. In the space of like 12 hours, she found out her best friend in this reality is gay and she’s living with her partner in Buffy’s house, apparently helping raise her younger sister. To say she’s thrown for a loop is an understatement.

“I made chocolate chip pancakes,” Tara fumbles with her words. “They’re your favorite. The o-other you, I mean.”

“Thanks,” Buffy smiles. They’re actually her favorite too, so at least she has that in common with her alter ego.

“Good morning,” Dawn bounces into the room, followed by a groggy Willow. “Mmmm, pancakes.” Dawn wraps her arms around Tara. “Have I mentioned I love you?”

Smiling sweetly, Tara swats the younger girl with a spatula. “Go eat some before Buffy gets them all.” Immediately, she looks up in horror. “I’m sorry, Buffy! I-I didn’t mean… it’s just that the other Buffy…”

“Never met a pancake she didn’t like,” Willow supplies, as she pours herself some coffee. “It’s okay, baby, they’re both slayers. I’m sure Buffy is going to eat us out of house and home while she’s here.” The redhead looks at Buffy expectantly.

Their Buffy eats like a pig? Well, they’ve never met her Faith. “Right,” Buffy agrees, deciding it isn’t worth it to argue about it. They’re really good pancakes; she may have seconds anyway.

Giles joins them as they’re finishing breakfast.

“Tell me you have good news,” Buffy says, by way of greeting.

The watcher shakes his head. “Nothing yet, I’m afraid.” He meets Buffy’s eyes, trying to muster up some enthusiasm. “I’ve got some solid leads! Don’t worry, Buffy, we’ll figure this out.”

XXXXX

By the fifth day, Buffy is starting to feel like she’s crazy. Nobody here talks about Faith. She hasn’t found a single photo of her even though she’s pored through the family albums her mom fastidiously added to. She can’t bring her up without her friends’ postures tightening. They don’t want to talk about Faith. They don’t want to think about her. It’s like she doesn’t even exist.

Buffy decides to go to the one person who seems to have no feelings on the Faith subject. “Hey, Tara,” she says cautiously, entering the living room. Tara is sitting on the loveseat, studying an open book. “Still researching? I thought we were going to quit for the night?”

“We were,” Tara replies distractedly, “I just thought about the Ritual of Restoration. I need the original Romanian, but the spell may call on the same elements we would need to transport you.” She notices the blank look on Buffy’s face, and quickly closes the book, smiling. “Sorry. Did you want to talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Buffy says, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch. “I wanted to ask you about Faith.”

“Oh,” Tara mutters, somewhat nervously, “okay.”

“I can’t even bring her up without the room going silent,” Buffy says. “I’m starting to feel like I made her up in my head.”

Tara smiles sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Buffy. It must be really hard for you. It sounds like Faith’s very important to you.”

“She is,” Buffy agrees.

There’s something about Buffy’s face that makes it click for Tara, finally. “You love her.”

Buffy hasn’t been hiding this, not exactly, but the rest of the gang doesn’t seem like they’d handle this revelation well. “We’re together.”

Tara nods, her heart filling with empathy for Buffy. “How can I help?”

“Do you know where she is?”

Tara hesitates. “Are you sure you really want to see her? She’s not the Faith you know.”

Buffy’s thought about this extensively. She heard what Giles said, about Faith being a killer, and she’s picked up enough from the rest of the gang to know that Faith did some very bad things to them. Still, this is Faith. Whatever happened, she can’t just let it go. She’s got to see her. “I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Tara agrees, without further protest. “I don’t know where she is, but I’m sure Angel does. I’ll talk to Willow. We’ll find out.”

Buffy is staring at her.

“Don’t worry,” Tara says, “I’ll talk to Will. I’m sure she’ll understand, once she—what?” She asks, as Buffy begins shaking her head.

“What are you talking about?” Buffy asks, her voice harsh. “Angel?”

Tara’s eyes widen. “I think he visits her.”

Buffy’s stomach churns, and she suddenly feels very weak. “Are you telling me… Angel’s alive?”

“Oh, God,” Tara murmurs, understanding the problem now. “Yes, he’s fine. He lives in Los Angeles.”

Buffy blinks at her in disbelief, tears beginning to fill her eyes. “But… how?”

XXXXX

Willow and Tara stand awkwardly in the Hyperion’s lobby, trying to explain everything to Cordelia.

“So,” Cordelia says, watching Buffy and Angel through the window to his office, “Buffy’s not from around here. And the real Buffy is missing.”

“We think she’s in another dimension,” Willow agrees.

“We just got back from another dimension,” Cordelia informs them. “Maybe we can help.”

“Really?” Willow asks, curiosity immediately drawing her attention to her former classmate.

“Yeah,” Cordelia says. “Come on, let’s find Wesley. It doesn’t look like they’ll be done any time soon anyway.”

XXXXX

Angel shifts uncomfortably. Buffy’s been staring at him silently for several long moments. “Say something,” he finally tells her, just to break up the quiet.

Buffy swallows, trying not to cry. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Angel wonders if he should go to her. He knows she’s not the same person he once knew, but she’s still Buffy, and time hasn’t changed his feelings. He can’t stand to see her so upset. “I take it that I’m not in your world,” he says gently, for the moment remaining on his side of the desk.

Buffy looks away, shaking her head slowly. “I killed you,” she says, her voice so small and hurt that he can barely make it out. “You didn’t come back.”

“I’m sorry,” Angel says, at a loss.

Buffy nods, managing to clear the lump from her throat. “I never thought I’d get the chance to tell you, but I’m so sorry, Angel.”

Angel’s heart twists at her words. Now, he stands up, walking around the desk. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Her eyes are desperate when they meet his. “I do. I’m sorry it was me that made you lose your soul.” She starts to cry now, tears quickly escaping her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder. If I just kept you from the statue a little longer…”

Angel can’t bear the sight of her tears. He reaches for her, and Buffy comes bonelessly into his arms, slumping against his chest. “Don’t say that,” he says tightly, his own chest aching. “We didn’t know. You saved the world, Buffy. You did everything you could. I never blamed you.”

Buffy shakes her head, her tears seeping into his shirt.

“Listen to me,” Angel orders softly, waiting until she looks up at him. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“How can you say that?” Buffy asks, her voice breaking.

“Everything I am, any good I’ve done with my life, it’s only because of you,” Angel admits. “You made me want to be something.” He can still remember the first moment he saw her, so young and naïve, sitting on the steps of her high school. She had no idea what was coming, and he knew he would do anything he could to protect her.

Buffy looks up, sniffling indelicately. She wipes the tears from her face. “Thank you,” she whispers, bringing her hand to his cheek. “I will always love you,” she promises, “and I will always remember what we had.”

Angel nods, understanding that the moment is over. He releases her, taking a step away.

“I need your help,” Buffy tells him.